Nicola Yoon - The Sun Is Also a Star

Thankyoufordownloading fromKindle Books Toreceivespecialoffers,bonuscontent, andinfoonnewreleasesandothergreatreads, signupforournewsletters. Orvisitusonlineat https://myfreekindle.blogspot.com/ Contents Formymomanddad,whotaughtmeaboutdreamsandhowtocatchthemItdoesnoharmtotheromanceofthesunsettoknowalittleaboutit.PaleBlueDot, CarlSagan DoIdareDisturbtheuniverse?InaminutethereistimeFordecisionsandrevisionswhichaminutewillreverse.TheLoveSongofJ.AlfredPrufrock, T.S.Eliot CARLSAGANSAID that if you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe. When he says from scratch, he means from nothing. Hemeansfromatimebeforetheworldevenexisted.Ifyouwanttomake anapplepiefromnothingatall,youhavetostartwiththeBigBangandexpanding universes,neutrons,ions,atoms,blackholes,suns,moons,oceantides,theMilky Way,Earth,evolution,dinosaurs,extinction-levelevents,platypuses, Homoerectus, Cro-Magnon man, etc. You have to start at the beginning. You must invent fire. Youneedwaterandfertilesoilandseeds.Youneedcowsandpeopletomilkthem and more people to churn that milk into butter.

You need wheat and sugar cane andappletrees.Youneedchemistryandbiology.Forareallygoodapplepie,you needthearts.Foranapplepiethatcanlastforgenerations,youneedtheprinting pressandtheIndustrialRevolutionandmaybeevenapoem. Tomakeathingassimpleasanapplepie,youhavetocreatethewholewide world. LocalTeenAcceptsDestiny,AgreestoBecomeDoctor,Stereotype ItsCharliesfaultthatmysummer(andnowfall)hasbeenoneabsurdheadline afteranother.CharlesJaeWonBae,akaCharlie,myolderbrother,firstbornson of a firstborn son, surprised my parents (and all their friends, and the entire gossiping Korean community of Flushing, New York) by getting kicked out of Harvard University ( Best School, my mother said, when his acceptance letter arrived). Now hes been kicked out of Best School, and all summer my mom frownsanddoesntquitebelieveanddoesntquiteunderstand. Why you grades so bad? They kick you out? Why they kick you out? Why notmakeyoustayandstudymore? Mydadsays, Notkickout.Requiretowithdraw.Notthesameaskickout. Charliegrumbles: Itsjusttemporary,onlyfortwosemesters. Under this unholy barrage of my parents confusion and shame and disappointment,evenIalmostfeelbadforCharlie.Almost. MYMOMSAYSITSTIMEformetogiveupnow,andthatwhatImdoingis futile.

Shes upset, so her accent is thicker than usual, and every statement is a question. Younothinkistimeforyoutogiveupnow,Tasha?Younothinkthatwhat youdoingisfutile? Shedrawsoutthefirstsyllableof futileforasecondtoolong.Mydaddoesnt sayanything.Hesmutewithangerorimpotence.Imneversurewhich.Hisfrown is so deep and so complete that its hard to imagine his face with another expression.Ifthiswereevenjustafewmonthsago,Idbesadtoseehimlikethis, butnowIdontreallycare.Hesthereasonwereallinthismess. Peter, my nine-year-old brother, is the only one of us happy with this turn of events.Rightnow,hespackinghissuitcaseandplayingNoWoman,NoCryby BobMarley.Old-schoolpackingmusic,hecalledit. DespitethefactthathewasbornhereinAmerica,Petersayshewantstolivein Jamaica.Hesalwaysbeenprettyshyandhasahardtimemakingfriends.Ithink he imagines that Jamaica will be a paradise and that, somehow, things will be betterforhimthere. Thefourofusareinthelivingroomofourone-bedroomapartment.Theliving roomdoublesasabedroom,and Peter and I shareit.Ithas two smallsofabeds that we pull out at night, and a bright blue curtain down the middle for privacy. Rightnowthecurtainispulledasidesoyoucanseebothourhalvesatonce.

Itsprettyeasytoguesswhichoneofuswantstoleaveandwhichwantstostay. Mysidestilllookslived-in.MybooksareonmysmallIKEAshelf.Myfavorite pictureofmeandmybestfriend,Bev,isstillsittingonmydesk.Werewearing safety goggles and sexy-pouting at the camera in physics lab. The safety goggles were my idea. The sexy-pouting was hers. I havent removed a single item of clothingfrommydresser.IhaventeventakendownmyNASAstarmapposter. Its hugeactually eight posters that I taped togetherand shows all the major stars, constellations, and sections of the Milky Way visible from the Northern Hemisphere.ItevenhasinstructionsonhowtofindPolarisandnavigateyourway bystarsincaseyougetlost.ThepostertubesIboughtforpackingitareleaning unopenedagainstthewall.

On Peters side, virtually all the surfaces are bare, most of his possessions alreadypackedawayintoboxesandsuitcases. My mom is right, of coursewhat Im doing is futile. Still, I grab my headphones,myphysicstextbook,andsomecomics.IfIhavetimetokill,maybeI canfinishupmyhomeworkandread. Petershakeshisheadatme.Whyareyoubringingthat?heasks,meaningthe textbook.Wereleaving,Tasha.Youdonthavetoturnin homework. Peterhasjustdiscoveredthepowerofsarcasm.Heusesiteverychancehegets. Idontbotherrespondingtohim,justputmyheadphonesonandheadforthe door.Backsoon,Isaytomymom. Tasha,isnotyoumeupsetwith,youknow? issomethingshesaysalotthese days. Tasha,isnotyoumeupsetwith,youknow? issomethingshesaysalotthese days.

Im going to the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) building in downtown Manhattan to see if someone there can help me. Weareundocumentedimmigrants,andwerebeingdeportedtonight. Todayismylastchancetotrytoconvincesomeoneorfatetohelpmefinda waytostayinAmerica. Tobeclear:Idontbelieveinfate.ButImdesperate. REASONS I THINK Charles Jae Won Bae, aka Charlie, Is an Asshole (In No ParticularOrder): 1. 2. 2.

Hesamansman,meaninghesanassholealotofthetime.Mostofthe time.Allofthetime. 3. Heistall,withchiseled,sculpted,andevery-romance-novel-everadjective forcheekbones.Thegirls( allthegirls,notjusttheKoreanBiblestudyones) sayhislipsarekissable. 4. Allthiswouldbefineanembarrassmentofriches,tobesure;atadtoo manytreasurestobebestowedonasinglehuman,certainlyifhewerenice. 5. 5.

Hedoesntlikeme,andhasntlikedmeforyears. IPUTMYPHONE,headphones,andbackpackintothegraybinbeforewalking through the metal detector. The guardher name tag says Irenestops my bin fromtravelingontotheconveyorbelt,asshesdoneeveryday. Ilookupatheranddontsmile. Shelooksdownintothebin,flipsmyphoneover,andstaresatthecase,asshes done every day. The case is the cover art for an album called Nevermind by the bandNirvana.Everydayherfingerslingeronthebabyonthecover,andeveryday Idontlikehertouchingit.NirvanasleadsingerwasKurtCobain.Hisvoice,the damageinit,thewayitsnotatallperfect,thewayyoucanfeeleverythinghes ever felt in it, the way his voice stretches out so thin that you think its going to breakandthenitdoesnt,istheonlythingthatskeptmesanesincethisnightmare began.Hismiseryissomuchmoreabjectthanmine.

Shes taking a long time, and I cant miss this appointment. I consider saying something,butIdontwanttomakeherangry.Probablyshehatesherjob.Idont wanttogiveherareasontodelaymeevenfurther.Sheglancesupatmeagainbut showsnosignthatsherecognizesme,eventhoughIvebeenhereeverydayforthe last week. To her Im just another anonymous face, another