Antony John - The Other, Better Me

T he worst thing about riding the school bus is Mallory Lewis. Shes the second person who gets picked up, just two blocks after me. The bus company wanted her to wait at my stop, but Mallorys mom complained to the school that it wasnt safe. Now the bus picks Mallory up right outside her house. If you ask me, the only thing that would make my bus stop unsafe would be if I had to share it with Mallory.

Hi, Mallory, I say as she clomps onto the bus.

She walks past me without a word. Shes wearing really big headphones under her hoodie, but I dont think she wouldve answered even if she could hear me.

Mallory is three inches taller than any other kid in fifth grade. Which means shes three inches taller than any other kid in the entire school. It also means shes taller than half the teachers, and I think theyre a little scared of her. That shows how smart teachers are.

How bad is Mallory? Lets just say she uses the kind of words thatd get you into big trouble at school. Whenever she does it, I cover Tiffany Gambles ears because Tiffanys only five, which Momma says is an impressionable age. I sure dont want Tiffany doing impressions of Mallory in front of her kindergarten teacher.

Tiffany gets on the bus after Mallory. Shes small but looks kind of fierce, like a character in a movie who you just know is going to grow up to be a warrior princess. Or president. Her dad always waits with her. When the bus arrives, he gives her a bone-crushing hug and blows air kisses as she climbs aboard. Once shes in the seat beside me, he waves at me too and smiles big enough that I can see the gap between his two front teeth. I think Tiffanys lucky to have a dad who smiles like that.

Tiffany is a member of the Lola Harmon Book Club. To be precise, the only member. Shes crazy about graphic novels, especially this series called Krunden and the Shmorpels, which her mom gets from the library. Every day, Tiffany hands me one of the books to read out loud. She has an incredible memory. If I read a book to her a few times, she almost memorizes it. Last week, she read one of them to her teacher, Ms. Kildare. Now Ms. Kildare thinks shes making exceptional progress at reading, which is impressive for a kid who doesnt seem to know the alphabet.

My friend Nick Merlo gets on the bus after Tiffany. He doesnt like riding the bus because Mallory keeps teasing him about his freckles, so I distract him by pretending not to know some of the words in Tiffanys book. That way, Nick can help out. It works real well, which is lucky because when Nick is annoyed, his face gets very hard and serious, like an igneous rock. Igneous is a word I learned in a science book. It means cooled lava, which is a pretty good description of Nick, if you ask me. Distract him with a book and hes all fire, and his smile gets crazy wide like a smiley-face emoji. But when hes annoyed. Well, like I say... IGNEOUS!

Would you read to me today, Ms. Harmon? Tiffany asks, rummaging around in her violet backpack. She has very good manners for a kindergartner.

You know you can call me Lola, right? I remind her. I dont know if I count as a Ms. when Im only in fifth grade.

Are you married?

No. Im in fifth grade, I say again, in case she missed it the first time.

She side-eyes Nick like she thinks I might not be telling the truth. Nick turns bright red. I dont know why. Its not like hes married either.

Well, then, announces Tiffany. If youre not married, youre a Ms. My mommy told me that.

Nick shrugs. Maybe his mom told him the same thing. My mommas never been married, so I guess shes a Ms. too. Seems weird for both of us to be called Ms. Harmon.

As the bus picks up more kids, Tiffany pulls a book from her bag and slaps it into my outstretched hand. Its the one we were reading yesterdayKrunden: Shmorpel Killerso I open it up to where we left off. Tiffany leans into me, eyes glued to the page.

Krunden aimed his laser cannon at the shmorpel and fired, I read aloud.

The picture shows the pirate Krunden blasting an alien. It also shows the aliens head exploding, which gets me wondering if this book is really meant for kindergartners. I guess Nicks thinking the same thing, because his mouth is scrunched up real tight.

Um, Tiffany? I say. Are you sure this book is meant for kids your age?

Tiffanys eyes shift around. Uh... yeah?

Mkay. Just checking.

I keep reading. The shmorpels head takes a long time to completely explode. Two pages, to be precise. There arent many words, but there are a whole lot of pictures. And all of them are kind of green.