Barry Farber - Making People Talk

(continued from front flap)

Armed with this book, you can get conversation blazing when you want to whether you're on a job hunt, a supermarket line, or national TV Throughout, Barry studs his advice with stories of celebrities that he has grilled or chatted with, from Frank Gifford, to Ingrid Bergman, to Malcolm X, to Alfred Hitchcock (who provides an unforgettable example of how to end a conversation).

After literally thousands of hours hosting his own talk show, Barry Farber is a leading expert on Making People Talk. He has been a feature of New York radio for nearly thirty years, and his show is carried nightly on stations around the country.

Jacket design by Mifee Stromberg

William Morrow 8- Company, Inc. 105 Madison Avenue New York, N.Y. 10016

Printed in U.S.A.

Copyright 1987 by Barry Farber

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Publisher. Inquiries should be addressed to Permissions Department, William Morrow and Company, Inc., 105 Madison Ave., New York, N.Y. 10016.

Libraty of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Farber, Barry.

Making people talk.

1. Conversation. I. Title.

BJ2121.F37 1987 158'.3 87-5516

ISBN 0-688-01591-3

Printed in the United States of America

First Edition

123456789 10

BOOK DESIGN BY PATRICE FODERO

To Sophie and Ray Who helped me unwrap the gift of speech, and

Bibi and Celia

Unto whom it was so much fun passing it along!

FPT

I would like to thank the following people, without whose help and support this book would never have been either written or published: Adrian Zackheim, Bill Adler, J. Elroy McCaw, Leil Lowndes, Tex McCrary, Jinx Falkenberg, Bill Satire, Bill Berns, Martin Levin, Charles Norton, Wynder Hughes, and that bus driver on Madison Avenue who knows what Im talking about. And to many others too numerous to mention, but very deserving anyway.

FP'

You and I have something in common. We both profit if we can get good conversations going and keep them going.

What we dont have in common is what happens if we fail.

If you fail to get good talk going in both directions, you may be thought of as taciturn, uncommunicative, dull, drab, and boring. You may not get the opportunities you deserve and desire. Those in a position to assist you professionally may not be prompted to do so. Those of the opposite sex youd like to come to know better may not be similarly drawn to you. Those whose social tents youd like to enter may close their flaps to you.

And you may never notice. You may never know you failed.

Ifyow fail conversationally, your punishment may be unfelt and invisible.

If I fail, Im unemployed!

Im a broadcaster. My specialty is talk. My mission is to provoke conversations interesting enough to make listeners listen and keep listeners listening. Sometimes, when guests are articulate and cooperative, my job is easy. All I have to do

12 Barry Farber then is let them talk. More often, the guests are unsure, halting, nervous, ill at ease, inarticulate, terrified, or mute. They may be great writers, businesspeople, crusaders, organizers, makers and shapers of our evolving civilization itself. When I read their book, article, press release, or letter that originally made me want them on my show, they all seemed to be full-throated giants of oratory. Its only when the on-the-air light went on in my studio that Id realize I was dealing not with the awaited charging buck, but with a glassy-eyed deer frozen in headlights. (Once I was trapped on the air for a full ninety minutes with a Miss Finlandon the level nowwho could not speak one single word of English!)

Many guests get on the air who should never be on the air. Its a mistake. Its a misbooking. Somebody should get scolded, possibly fired. But you havent got time to luxuriate in such fantasies of vengeance when youre on the air live.

To hell with the cheese, broadcasters soon learn. Get yourself out of the trap!

Youve got no more opportunity to correct things at that point than a circus acrobat has to stop in the middle of a midair somersault to rewire the trapeze.

You develop skills at Making People Talk.

Or you find another line of work.

My own on-air broadcast career started out weak, and gradually tapered off. The first radio station I worked for was a major rock and roller. Mine was the only hour of the day eleven to midnightthat featured talk. My friends at the radio station listened to my early broadcasts and told me, That woman talking about training all those dogs was interesting. In fact, the dog lady was very interesting. The exercise lady was interesting. The leftovers lady, the protein doctor, the mortgage man, the singing professor, the harmonica maker, the cheese taster, the ski-pole repairman, the log hollower, that man who had the southernmost brass weathervane in New Hampshirethey were all interesting. Very interesting. But interesting wont make it, kid. Youve got to stagger us with big names. Not just for the listeners. Youve got to stagger the sales department, the program director, and the owner of this company, too.

Interesting challenge. Not many celebrities were looking for insecure late-night talk shows to come be staggering on.

Id done a couple of interviews about Sweden arranged by Lars Malmstrom, head of publicity for the Swedish National Travel Office in New York. I knew he worked with Ingrid Bergman on promotions now and then. I told him of my problem. Ingrid Bergman, if I could only get her exclusively on my late-night local radio show, would stagger all the required personnel. If I could get one interview with Ingrid Bergman, I could get away with having nobody but dog-exercise-protein leftovers-et cetera experts on the show for one solid year!

Lars said he would try. He called me a few weeks later and told me which hour and minute to meet him in the lobby of the Hampton House Hotel on a date three weeks from then. He told me to come alone, make sure my tape recorder was functioning properly, and walk softly after him. Ingrid Bergman, Lars told me, had agreed to be mine, exclusively.

I did as instructed. And, indeed, Ingrid Bergman was mine; exclusively, too. The only problem was, she had by no means agreed to be mine for a prolonged interrogation on her life, work, scandals, hatreds, frustrations, passions, and recriminations. She was under the impression that, whoever I was, I was there to do a ninety-second travel piece about Sweden. For Swedish radio. And in Swedish!

It turned out that in my mid-teens Id gone to the movies alone one afternoon in Miami Beach, seen an Ingrid Bergman movie, and fallen in love with her. After the movie I walked into the bookshop right next door and said to the clerk, I want

a book that can teach me whatever language it is Ingrid Bergman spoke first.

Ingrid Bergman is Swedish, said the clerk. He walked away and came back with a copy of Hugos Swedish Simplified. It cost two dollars and fifty cents. I only had two dollars.

Do you have anything similar cheaper? I asked. He left again and this time came back with a copy of Hugos Norwegian Simplified. The cost was only one dollar and fifty cents.

Do you think shell understand this as well as the other one? I asked the clerk. He assured me that anyone who could understand an American speaking Swedish could also understand that American speaking Norwegian.