Gilbreth Frank Bunker - Belles on Their Toes

TO MOTHER

who deserves better treatment

MOTHER WAS GOING TO Europe and leave us by ourselves. It was not an easy thing, but it was something she had to do for Dad. For us, too.

Frank carried her suitcases down the front steps to a taxicab parked under the porte-cochere of our house in Montclair, New Jersey. The driver climbed out of his air-cooled Franklin, and gave a hand.

You the oldest boy? he asked Frank.

Frank told him he was. Frank was thirteen.

Its going to be tough on your Mother. All you kids, and you the oldest boy.

Everyone knew it was going to be tough. There wasnt any use talking about that.

Ill put them on the train myself, said the driver, pointing his head at the suitcases. I heard about your father.

Frank climbed the stairs and joined the rest of us on the porch, just outside the front door. That was where we usually said good-by when Dad went away on trips.

Dad had died three days before, on June 14, 1924. It seemed longer. He had had a heart attack at the railroad station in Montclair. It had happened in a telephone booth, while he was talking with Mother over the phone.

Dad liked regimentation and liked everything to be done by a system. He even had assigned each of us a number, which he used for routing intra-family correspondence and memoranda.

Mother wasnt that way. But from habit we lined up on the porch as we would have for Dadby ages and in a sort of company front formation.

Anne, the oldestshe was eighteenwas at the tall end of the line. Jane, the youngestnot quite twowas at the short end. In between were Ernestine, Martha, Frank, Bill, Lillian, Fred, Dan, Jack, and Bob.

Anne told us to dress right on her. Dad always liked the line to be straight. We waited there for Mother.

We still werent accustomed to seeing her in black. She looked tense and alone as she pushed open the screen door and came to the head of the steps. We wished shed let some of us go with her to the boat, or at least to the Montclair station.

Mother stood there, tall, slim, and quite beautiful. Her figure never even whispered that she had had a dozen children. Her veil was pushed back over her hat, and her face was white and taut.

A few strands of red hair, the only part of Mothers person that wouldnt do her bidding, curled defiantly from under her hat. Everything else was black and white.

Whenever Dad said good-by there on the porch, he always made believe we were secretly glad to get rid of him. Nothing could have been further from the truth, because we worshiped him, and he knew it. But hed say we were only waiting for him to get out of earshot, before wed start a wild celebration that would run far into the night. Hed tell us our long faces didnt fool him any, and that some day he was going to ride around the block and come back and catch us decking the halls with boughs of holly, building a bonfire, burning him in effigy, andthe biggest sin of alleven using one of his Durham-Duplex razors.

Mother didnt want us to know how she felt about leaving, so she smiled and tried to act like Dad.

Those long faces dont fool me any, she boomed as heartily as she could. Just as soon as Im out of sight The boom dropped to a whisper, and then she couldnt go on at all. She held out her arms and we broke ranks and burrowed into them.

She didnt trust herself to talk for a while, and neither did we. Finally she pulled herself loose and started down the stairs. Just before she got to the cab, she turned and looked at usat each one of us.

Mother has a way of making each child know he means something very special to her. Not just as one of the group, but as an individual person who has his own special claim on her heart.

I love you so, she said quietly. I would never leave you, if it didnt seem the only way we can stay together later on. You know that, dont you?

We knew it, all right. Most of Dads money had gone back into his business. Mother was going to try to operate the business herselfthat was one reason the trip to Europe was necessary. If she failed, the family might have to be divided or to move in on Mothers relatives on the West Coast.

Mothers mother had invited all of us to come and live with her, in Oakland, California. Since there were so many of us, Mother thought it would be a bit of an impositionmore, in fact, than she was willing to impose on anyone, even her own mother. Several of Dads friends had offered to adopt some of us. None of us wanted that.

Dont worry about us, Anne assured Mother now. Every thing will be hotsy, honest!

Im sure it will, dear, Mother smiled. Not only hotsy, but totsy, too.

The driver started to help her into the cab.

Im sorry about your husband, he said.

Thank you very much. Now Mothers voice sounded far away

I talked to a fellow that saw it happen. It must have been an awful shock for you.

Shut up, Frank whispered fiercely. Why cant he just shut up?

Anne nudged Frank sharply, and he was quiet.

We got back into line as the cab started down the driveway. We could see Mother waving from the window in the back.

Lillian, who was ten, burst into tears.

I want to go with Mother, she sobbed. Tell her to come back.

Anne took two steps and stood in front of Lill, blocking her from view.

I told you not to do that, Anne said between her teeth. I told you the first one who did that before Mother left Im going to murder.

Anne sounded as if she meant it, too.

I cant help it, Lill cried. Shes got to come back.

All the way up Eagle Rock Way, we could see Mother waving. We smiled and waved back. Lill stopped crying before the car was out of sight, and Anne stepped aside, so that Lill could wave too.

The car disappeared around a curve, and Lill burst into tears again.

I didnt mean to, she sobbed. Honest, I didnt.

Its all right, Anne told her. We know you didnt.

Do you think she could see me at the end, when I was waving?

Im sure she could, Anne said. Of course she could, honey. Anne burst into tears herself.

We went back into the house, and suddenly we didnt feel so depressed any more. Perhaps it was the saying good-by we had dreaded, even more than being without Mother. Mother had gone on trips before, and we had lived through them. And shed be back in a little more than a month.

Everybody, said Anne, drying her tears, did fine. I think Mother was proud of us.

Well get things running like clockwork around here, Ernestine told us. Mother wont know us when she gets back.

We began to see that what seemed the end of everything might really be just a beginning. There was even a certain exhilaration in knowing that Mother had had enough confidence in us to leave us by ourselves.

Yes, sir, said Anne, almost gaily, everything went so well that, for the first time, I think were going to make a go of it. She was fairly beaming now. Everybody behaved so well I could kiss you all.

I knew it, said Bill, ducking. The minute Mother leaves, you start making threats.

Anne grabbed him, and planted a resounding, moist smack on the side of his neck. Bill struggled, giggled, and hollered. The noise sounded fine after three days of whispers. The tension began to drain out of us.

I know were going to be able to stay together, Ernestine said. Im so sure of it now that I could almost go build that bonfire Dad always talked about.