Henry - Ive Got My Period. So What?

Copyright 2015 Clara Henry

Photo: Kristine Wreyford

Design & illustrations: Li Sderberg

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief excerpts in critical reviews or articles. All inquiries should be addressed to Sky Pony Press, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018.

First published in Sweden by Bokfrlaget Forum, Stockholm, Sweden, 2015.

This paperback edition published by Sky Pony Press, 2017.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

Cover illustration by Danielle Evans

Cover design by Gretchen Samuels

Print ISBN: 978-1-5107-1422-9

E-book ISBN: 978-1-5107-1423-6

Printed in China

TABLE OF CONTENTS

What I learned about menstruation as a ten-year-old, and why I wanted to write this book in the first place

Getting your first periodand tips for rookies and rookies-to-be

What the heck is menstruation all about?

A history lesson you dont learn in school

Why is getting your period so bloody embarrassing?

Yes, I have my period, thanks for asking!

Why menstruation is the height of feminism

Making the best out of that time of the month

FOREWORD

What I learned about menstruation as a ten-year-old, and why I wanted to write this book in the first place

M y period ended the day before yesterday. I used a normal-sized tampon on the last day, even though I really should have used a mini. As a consequence of refusing to venture out into the December cold to buy a box of mini-tampons, I now have a vajayjay as dry as my grandfathers heels. (My grandfathers heels are stark white. Their skin is so dry that it peels and hangs loose in places; if someone were to take a feather and gently touch those heels, big flakes would start falling like some kind of foot dandruff. Thats how it feels Down There right now.) It is so itchy. Its a big production to straighten my panties when it feels like they are making their way up my uterus, but today everybody is welcome to think Im adjusting my undies, when what Im really doing is trying to scratch my inner labia as discreetly as possible. All you tampon users out thereyou know what Im talking about.

But today everybody is welcome to think Im adjusting my undies, when what Im really doing is trying is to scratch my inner labia as discretely as possible.

I began having my period almost eight years ago. Sure, I havent suffered from intense cramps and PMS (Premenstrual Syndrome)the kind that makes some of us sob hysterically and spew our guts outbut in many other ways my period is often a nightmare. I bleed for six days, and I always soak through everything, no matter what kind of protection Im using, during the first two nights. I use super-size tampons until my last day, and I have to change them at least every three hours. I once tried a maternity-grade sanitary napkinone of those things they give to women whove just pushed out a baby and half of their uterusand I was worry-free for six hours, which easily made that day one the best of my period. PMS makes me anxious, and my period pain is sometimes so bad I cant stand up straight. As if that werent enough, I suspect I have a tiny, but very real, phobia of blood. I realized this the first time I had to go for a blood test, about a year and a half ago; it ended up as a long blog post (read: a small novel) entirely devoted to the thoughts and feelings my thick, red blood, swishing around in the test tube, roused in me. Just horrible!

But Im not bitter. At least I havent thrown up from cramps, which I consider quite an achievement.

I havent always been the type of person who could talkat the drop of a hat, without any reservations, to anyoneabout the fact that blood comes out of my vagina. While today I may dislike menstruation itself but love periods as a topic, five years ago I flat-out detested them both. Maybe its Stockholm Syndrome. Menstruation took over my body, and now I love itor something like that.

WHAT I WAS TAUGHT IN SCHOOL

In 2004, I was in fourth grade, and our educational system believed that fifteen minutes was plenty of time to teach the countrys ten-year-old uterus-owners everything about a process they would experience approximately four hundred fifty times over their lifetime.

This is a sanitary pad, said my primary school teacher, as she held up a flat, lime-green object that looked like a pack of instant noodles. Soon you will start getting your period, which means that youll be able to have children and that you will bleed Down There. If you place a pad inside your panties, you wont bleed through your clothes. Always carry a pad in your bag so youre prepared. Any questions? Heres a pamphlet so you can read some more about it. Quit giggling. Time for recess! And that was that.

There we were, twelve girls in the classroom, not understanding much more than that in a few years blood would be coming out of our privates, and that it was a big secretso secret, in fact, that boys werent allowed to know about it; they were sitting in another classroom rolling condoms down over bananas. Somewhere deep inside my ten-year-old brain I began to wonder why we couldnt learn about both things, but there must have been something about the combination of condom + banana that made me happy to sit in the classroom with the rest of the girls and keep a wary eye on the lime-green pack of noodles.

However, as a twenty-year-old, I take offense when Im told that the lesson has basically remained the same; it makes me want to shoutat least three times in a rowat the top of my lungs, ITS NOT FREAKING POSSIBLE! I hold back so people wont think I have some sort of aggression issuewhich I dont think I have. But I really dont understand what brain cell died in the head of the Einstein who decided that guys and girls should be segregated during sex-ed class. I wonder who thought that guys didnt need to know anything about periods. Someone who believes that menstruation is a girl thing that ladies should keep to themselves, probably; or someone who has warned uterus-carrying friends repeatedly that of course they can talk about menstruation, but they dont need to make a big deal of itjust take a bloody painkiller and quit whining about it; it cant be that hard. Someone like that, thats my guess.