Ariella Papa - Up & Out  

Mo Money, Mo Problems

I like to think of money in terms of the rock shrimp tempura at Nobu Next Door. When I take a cab, I think thats about a third of a plate of tempura. So I prefer the subway. Sometimes, I dont buy clothes because thats usually two to four plates worth. I try not to think about my rent in those terms. That might make a girl lose her appetite.

New York City is filled with food. Everything from the beef-cheek ravioli at Babbo to the handmade hand-glazed all natural doughnuts at Doughnut Plant. Dont even get me started on the loads of possibilities opening up to me every week in the Dining In/Dining Out section of the New York Times. Its almost too overwhelming for this foodie to bear.

So every two weeks I invite a friend out for rock shrimp tempura, always with the spicy, creamy sauce. It just sort of keeps things in perspective. In a city full of savory, tempting substances, theres got to be one thing thats familiar.

But let me back up a bit. I was your typical working girl struggling to make ends meet and pay off my credit card and student loans. Next thing I knew, On the Verge magazine named Esme, the character I had created and animated, a feminist icon for the tween generation.

Esmes Enlightenments was just a bunch of interstitials, which were like short films that advertised Explore! Family, the channel where I worked. It is an upstart channel trying to make its way in the tough world of kids TV. Unfortunately, the channel had no animated series at the time, but as soon as Esme got on the radar (and who would think anyone even read On the Verge magazine?), Hackett, the head of Programming, called me into his office and set unbelievable deadlines for me to get a legit episode produced. He wanted me to turn my sixty-second shorts into an actual TV show!

I loved my character, Esme. She may have been a bespectacled smart-aleck twelve-year-old, a glorified imaginary friend, but she was my baby. She was comfortable with herself and her smarts.

So, while I adored her, I couldnt believe other people liked Esme so much. And then I began to like her for more than what she represented. I liked her for fast-forwarding my career. Overnight I got a staff, a promotion, a fat raise and a haircut. I busted my ass to get the first twenty-two-minute episode of Esmes Enlightenments ready for the Upfront, where all the advertisers gathered for a presentation in the ballroom of the Waldorf Astoria. It was pomp and circumstance thinly disguising sales pitches. This is where the ad execs would lay their money down for the following season.

And boy did they lay their money down! Esme was a huge success. The network ordered a full season. The licensing department worked up all these plush Esme dolls and created an Esme board game and the advertisers spent their money as if there was no tomorrow. Hackett gave an inspiring speech about how Esme was going to help shape the future of the network. Even though she was a girl, she had tested well with boys, who thought she was a techhead. I felt tears coming to my contacts when he talked about how Esme had tons of possibilities, and it was all thanks to one young woman who believed. Me.

I stood up at my front table when Hackett pointed to me. The spotlight shone on me and the camera plastered my smiling face on all the screens for even the back tables to see. I prayed I didnt have spinach in my teeth from the so-so chicken Florentine they had served at the luncheon. I got a huge round of applause. If my life were the movie I often wish it were, the credits could have rolled right then. Well, maybe after Tommy, my recently exed boyfriend (whom I still find time to have stress-relieving fantastic sex with), would have run down the aisle through the balloons and lifted me up into a freeze-frame, just like in Dirty Dancing. Then my movie audience could have left with the feel-good smiles that commercial blockbusters aim for. (Like many people who work in TV, Im obsessed with movies.)

But Tommy didnt come and the credits didnt rolleven though it was a really great feeling. I still had to produce thirteen episodes of Esmes Enlightenments in a matter of months and I barely had time to breathe, much less properly blow out my new haircut.

The first few episodes of the series got exceptional ratings and press, but my work wasnt done. Another season was ordered. Now we are constantly rolling out new episodes, and that means late nights and ignoring some of the people I care about the most. And believe me, all the delivery food I can order in to my office doesnt exactly satisfy this food addicts jones.

But I am an adult and these are adult responsibilities and I have to deal, right?

So, Im out for an every-other-week dinner at Nobu with my roommate, Lauryn. I barely see Lauryn with the hours I keep. When I arrive, she has already ordered a mango martini for me. We kiss hello and I take a bite of the dried piece of mango that comes with the drink.

You seem very happy, I say. Since Lauryn realized her marriage to Jordan was really only a starter marriage and his ideas about commitment involved spending her money and sleeping with other women, she had become very bitter. It was nice to see her smile and not mention that I was twenty-five minutes late.

Well, Rebecca, its finally over.

What?

My D-I-V-O-R-C-E became final today, she sings.

Wow! Thats great, I say. Im not sure I really think so. I mean, were barely twenty-seven and she is divorced, but I guess its cool because she is happy and Jordan is a dick. I hold up my martini glass and clink it into hers and a little bit of our drinks spills.

We order our mealswe each get shiitake mushroom salads, and I order my usual rock shrimp tempura and she gets yellowtail sashimi with jalapeo. I approve, knowing I will be able to sneak a bite. I try not to associate with anyone who doesnt believe in sharing foods.