Leiber - The Swords of Lankhmar

Fritz Leiber

Chapter One

I see were expected, the small man said, continuing to stroll toward the large open gate in the long, high, ancient wall. As if by chance, his hand brushed the hilt of his long, slim rapier.

At over a bowshot distance how can you the big man began. I get it. Bashabecks orange headcloth. Stands out like a whore in church. And where Bashabeck is, his bullies are. You should have kept your dues to the Thieves Guild paid up.

Its not so much the dues, the small man said. It slipped my mind to split with them after the last job, when I lifted those eight diamonds from the Spider Gods temple.

The big man sucked his tongue in disapproval. I sometimes wonder why I associate with a faithless rogue like you.

The small man shrugged. I was in a hurry. The Spider God was after me.

Yes, I seem to recall he sucked the blood of your lookout man. Youve got the diamonds to make the payoff now, of course?

My purse is as bulging as yours, the small man asserted. Which is exactly as much as a drunks wineskin the morning after. Unless youre holding out on me, which Ive long suspected. Incidentally, isnt that grossly fat manthe one between the two big-shouldered bravosthe keeper of the Silver Eel tavern?

The big man squinted, nodded, then rocked his head disgustedly. To make such a to-do over a brandy tab.

Especially when it couldnt have been much more than a yard long, the small man agreed. Of course there were those two full casks of brandy you smashed and set afire the last night you were brawling at the Eel.

When the odds are ten to one against you in a tavern fight, you have to win by whatever methods come easiest to hand, the big man protested. Which Ill grant you are apt at times to be a bit bizarre.

He squinted ahead again at the small crowd ranged around the square inside the open gate. After a while he said, I also make out Rivis Rightby the swordsmithand just about all the other creditors any two men could have in Lankhmar. And each with his hired thug or three. He casually loosened in its scabbard his somewhat huge weapon, shaped like a rapier, but heavy almost as a broadsword. Didnt you settle any of our bills before we left Lankhmar the last time? I was dead broke, of course, but you must have had money from all those earlier jobs for the Thieves Guild.

I paid Nattick Nimblefingers in full for mending my cloak and for a new gray silk jerkin, the small man answered at once. He frowned. There must have been others I paidoh, Im sure there were, but I cant recall them at the moment. By the by, isnt that tall rangy wenchhalf behind the dainty man in blackone you were in trouble with? Her red hair stands out like alike a bit of Hell. And those three other girlseach peering over her besworded pimps shoulder like the firstwerent you in trouble with them also when we last left Lankhmar?

I dont know what you mean by trouble, the big man complained. I rescued them from their protectors, who were abusing them dreadfully. Believe me, I trounced those protectors and the girls laughed. Thereafter I treated them like princesses.

You did indeedand spent all your cash and jewels on them, which is why you were broke. But one thing you didnt do for them: you didnt become their protector in turn. So they had to go back to their former protectors, which has made them justifiably angry at you.

I should have become a pimp? the big man objected. Women! Then, I see a few of your girls in the crowd. Neglect to pay them off?

No, borrowed from them and forgot to return the money, the small man explained. Hi-ho, it certainly appears that the welcoming committee is out in force.

I told you we should have entered the city by the Grand Gate, where wed have been lost in the numbers, the big man grumbled. But no, I listened to you and came to this godforsaken End Gate.

Wrong, the other said. At the Grand Gate we wouldnt have been able to tell our foes from the bystanders. Here at least we know that everyone is against us, except for the Overlords gate watch, and Im not too sure of themat the least theyll have been bribed to take no notice of our slaying.

Why should they all be so hot to slay us? the big man argued. For all they know we may be coming home laden with rich treasures garnered from many a high adventure at the ends of the earth. Oh, Ill admit that three or four of them may also have a private grudge, but

They can see we havent a train of porters or heavily-laden mules, the small man interrupted reasonably. In any case they know that after slaying us, they can pay themselves off from any treasure we may have and split the remainder. Its the rational procedure, which all civilized men follow.

Civilization! the big man snorted. I sometimes wonder

why you ever climbed south over the Trollstep Mountains and got your beard trimmed and discovered that there were girls without hair on their chests, the small man finished for him. Hey, I think our creditors and other haters have hired a third S besides swords and staves against us.

Sorcery?

The small man drew a coil of thin yellow wire from his pouch. He said, Well, if those two graybeards in the second-story windows arent wizards, they shouldnt scowl so ferociously. Besides, I can make out astrological symbols on the ones robe and see the glint of the others wand.

They were close enough now to the End Gate that a sharp eye could guess at such details. The guardsmen in browned-iron mail leaned on their pikes impassively. The faces of those lining the small square beyond the gateway were impassive too, but grimly so, except for the girls, who smiled with venom and glee.

The big man said grumpily, So theyll slay us by spells and incantations. Failing which, theyll resort to cudgels and gizzard-cutters. He shook his head. So much hate over a little cash. Lankhmarts are ingrates. They dont realize the tone we give their city, the excitement we provide.

The small man shrugged. This time theyre providing the excitement for us. Playing host, after a fashion. His fingers were deftly making a slipknot in one end of the pliant wire. His steps slowed a trifle. Of course, he mused, we dont have to return to Lankhmar.

The big man bristled. Nonsense, we must! To turn back now would be cowardly. Besides, weve done everything else.

There must be a few adventures left outside Lankhmar, the small man objected mildly, if only little ones, suitable for cowards.

Perhaps, the big man agreed, but big or little, they all have a way of beginning in Lankhmar. Whatever are you up to with that wire?

The small man had tightened the slipknot around the pommel of his rapier and let the wire trail behind him, flexible as a whip. Ive grounded my sword, he said. Now any death-spell launched against me, striking my drawn sword first, will be discharged into the ground.

Giving Mother Earth a tickle, eh? Watch out you dont trip over it. The warning seemed well-advisedthe wire was fully a half-score yards long.

And dont you step on it. Tis a device Sheelba taught me.

You and your swamp-rat wizard! the big man mocked. Why isnt he at your side now, making some spells for us?

Why isnt Ningauble at your side, doing the same? the small man counter-asked.

Hes too fat to travel. They were passing the blank-faced guardsmen. The atmosphere of menace in the square beyond thickened like a storm. Suddenly the big man grinned broadly at his comrade. Lets not hurt any of them too seriously, he said in a somewhat loud voice. We dont want our return to Lankhmar beclouded.