Mills - Foolish Hearts

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For Bridget, who helped make it all possible

Its at Amber Brunatis annual Pink Party that everything begins to unravel.

The invitationon thick pink paper, naturally, with gold and turquoise swirlshad declared it to be the last great luncheon of the summer. As if my summer had been packed to bursting with a whole host of other themed luncheons instead of babysitting jobs and shifts at Pinkys Sub Shop. It also implied that there had been a number of mediocre luncheons this summer, as this was meant to be the last of the great ones.

I stare around Ambers backyard at clustered tables covered in pink gingham cloths and at the girls around said tables. Were all wearing pink except for Iris Huang, who had the nerve to arrive in lavender (Ambers angry whispers carried clear across the lawn), and Kaitlyn Winthrop, who is technically wearing magenta. This seems to incense Amber even more, because while we all know that Iriss dress is a big official eff you to the entire Pink Party construct, Kaitlyn doesnt seem to realize that shes committed a faux pas.

Someone get that girl a color wheel, Amber hisses angrily to Madison Lutz, sitting to my left. Someone get her a fucking Pantone booklet because magenta is not pink. We all know magenta is not pink, right? She looks to me. Right?

Abso-tootin-lutely! I declare loudly, because I am a moron.

Its quiet for a split second, and then a laugh escapes from Madison.

Amber doesnt laugh, but her lips twitch in amusement. Yes. Good. Thank you, Claudia. Glad were all on the same page.

In truth, we are rarely all on the same page. More often than not, theyre all on one page, and Im on a completely different one. It cant be helped most of the time. Society itself puts us on different pages. They drive Range Rovers and have celebrity deejays at their sweet sixteens. I had to scrape and scrounge and toast subs, and remake the subs that I toasted badly, just to buy a car. A car that isnt even 100 percent mine. My brother technically owns 40 percent of it and somehow manages to drive it 80 percent of the time.

But I dont say any of this to Amber for fear she might fling a tray of cookies at me. Instead I watch as Madison pats Ambers back. You need to breathe, okay? she says. Eat a macaron. They have lavender in them, right? Thats supposed to be calming.

Lavender just makes me think of Iris, which makes me enraged, Amber says.

We all look across the yard to where Iris is seated with Paige Breckner. Together, she and Paige hold the titles of class president three years running (Iris), most popular girl in our grade (Paige), and cutest couple in our school (collectively).

Though cutest isnt quite right. I dont think anyone who knows her would use the word cute to describe anything relating to Iris Huang. Objectively, she has a roundness-of-face and smallness-of-stature that could traditionally be deemed cute. But shes also ruthless and unforgiving and, some would say, ill-mannered and incredibly unpleasant. Somehow, this doesnt seem to affect her political standing, but then again, that often seems to be the case in the real world as well.

But Paige and Iris have been the longest-enduring couple on record during our time at the Prospect-Landower School for Girls, and so they are automatically termed cutest, because thats shorter than longest-enduring couple on record during our time at the Prospect-Landower School for Girls.

I saw them onceI mean Ive seen them lots of timesbut once, after school, I saw them sitting on the low wall outside the lit building, sharing a pair of earbuds and listening to something on one of their phones. Their heads were bent together, and then all of a sudden Paige started dancing in her spot, mouthing along the words to whatever song it was.

Iris looked up at her, smiled, and then looked back at the phone. Paige started bopping harder, lip-synching more emphatically, pointing at Iris.

Iris ducked her head, blushed, focused on the screen until Paige got to her feet, took Iriss hands, and pulled her up, trying to get her to jump around. Iris looked flustered but endeared, I guess. Fond in a way I had never seen her look.

When Iris finally relented and joined in dancing, the earbud jerked right out of her ear. She scrambled for it, accidentally yanking the other out of Paiges ear. They both ended up bent over laughing, leaning on each other for support.

It was sweetthats why it stuck with me. A rare moment where Iris didnt seem completely steely but instead kind of awkward and fumbly and smitten.

So maybe cutest still means cutest, even where shes involved.

Right now, Paige is chatting with Sudha Prabhu, laughing behind one hand as Sudha gestures animatedly, while Iris looks for all the world like shes waiting in an airport terminal and her flight has just been canceled. In a sea of pink, she is unrelentingly purple.

At my table, Madison grins at Amber. Deep breaths.

I just want everything to be perfect, Amber says, eyes wide and strangely earnest as she looks around the table at each of us. Is it? Do you like the food? Are you having fun?

We all affirm the quality of the food and the fun were having. I nod emphatically as I hork down a petit four.

I know its silly, Amber says, but its just, you know. Senior year and all. Everything we do is sort of the last time we get to do it. So it should be perfect, right?

We double down on the reassurances, and finally Amber seems satisfied.

Okay. Okay, good. She stands promptly, smooths down the front of her dress, takes a deep breath, and then heads off to the next table.

I adjust my own dress as the other girls start talking about school. I borrowed it from Zoe, so although it fits the color scheme, its also a little too short and a little too tight. When I came downstairs in it, my mom said Wowza, and my dad, brow wrinkled, asked, What kind of party is this again?

Truth be told, Id risk Ambers wrath and wear the wrong color if it meant Zoe could be here with me, wearing this dress instead. She is my best friend, and theres only so much a text can convey. Some of this stuff you just have to witness to fully appreciate. And most of it, Id probably have a lot more fun witnessing with her.

But Zoe goes to Springdale High School, and I go to PLSG, and this isnt really the kind of thing where you can bring a plus one. So I send her a quick text update and then listen in on Madison and Ainsley Stewart discussing some band they both watched on TV last night.

The rest of the luncheon goes well, much to Ambers relief. We eat fancy finger foods. We toast each other with fizzy pink punch. There are speeches filled with assurances that this is going to be the best year ever and a shit ton of light applause.

Paige stands at one point and thanks Amber for hosting.

If youre giving a presentation in class, Paige is the person who smiles at you when you catch her eye and nods encouragingly, like shes actually listening. We had gym together freshman year, and whenever she was captain, she insisted on everyone counting off instead of picking teams.