Thompson - South Park FAQ: all thats left to know about the who, what, where, when, and #%$* of Americas favorite mountain town

Copyright 2014 by Dave Thompson

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, without written permission, except by a newspaper or magazine reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review.

Published in 2014 by Applause Theatre and Cinema Books
An Imprint of Hal Leonard Corporation
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Milwaukee, WI 53213

Trade Book Division Editorial Offices
33 Plymouth St., Montclair, NJ 07042

The FAQ series was conceived by Robert Rodriguez and developed with Stuart Shea.

Printed in the United States of America

All photos are courtesy of Photofest.

Book design by Snow Creative Services

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Thompson, Dave, 1960 January 3
South Park FAQ : all thats left to know about the who, what, where, when, and #%$* of Americas favorite mountain town / Dave Thompson.
pages cm
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-4803-5064-9 (pbk.)
1. South Park (Television program) I. Title.
PN1992.77.S665T54 2013
791.4572dc23
2014012027

www.applausebooks.com

To my mother, Sheila Ann Thompson, who I sincerely hope
would never have allowed me to watch this show when I was little.

Contents

Thank you to everyone who lent a hand, offered an opinion, or threw in an utterly unreasonable demand (expletives delighted) as I wrote this book, but especially to Amy Hanson, for her uncanny recognition of the pop cultural references that I completely missed; and to John Cerullo, Marybeth Keating, Wes Seeley, and Gary Morris for bringing the project to life.

And finally, to all the other people who threw something strange into the casebook, even if it was just sympathetic glances in the direction of a teetering pile of DVDs. Karen and Todd; Linda and Larry; Betsy, Steve, and family; Jo-Ann Greene, Jen, Dave and Sue, Gaye and Tim, everyone at Captain Blue Hen in Newark, Oliver, Trevor, Toby, Barb East, Bateerz and family, the Gremlins who live in the heat pump, and to John the Superstar, the demon of the dry well.

Introduction:
Respect My Authority

When we started out, we didnt know anything about political correctness. We were just two guys from Colorado, and it was because we didnt know any better that we did the kind of humor we did. We like being rebellious, and we like flying in the face of what people think we should say.

Trey Parker

Its the same with just about any TV show you can mention, and probably a few that youd be better off keeping quiet about. If there is one topic that is guaranteed to really annoy a fellow viewer, even more than asking how they could even like that show in the first place, its the prickly poser of whats your favorite episode?

I lost count of the number of times I was asked that when I mentioned to friends that I was writing a book about South Park . And I lost count, too, of the number of times they replied, Phooey! [fill in your own choice] was much better than that. Or words to that effect.

So, to get it out of the way right away, Im going to list my personal five top of the South Park pops. And if you dont agree, you are welcome to cross them out in violent crayon and add your own in their place.

Spookyfishfor giving us a true taste of Halloween, mangled up with a taste of Halloween too.

Sarcastaballfor delivering a beautifully well-timed slice of social commentary, splashed across a scenario that could easily happen tomorrow. If it hasnt already.

Scott Tenorman Must Diefor reminding us of the true depths of depravity to which a third or fourth graders imagination can sink.

The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towersfor demonstrating just how unprepared most parents are for the day when they must discuss the undiscussable.

And just about anything involving Terrance and Philip, because if you dont think fart jokes are the funniest thing on Earth, then why are you watching the show to begin with?

Actually, thats unfair. Poop jokes are just as funny. So are jokes against gingers, Jews, gays, straights, racial minorities, religious stereotypes, Goth kids, vampire kids, the disabled, the tall, the short, the pompous, the pathetic, the British, the Canadians, the famous, the feeble, the young, the old, the blank-space-to-fill-in-some-suggestions-of-your-own... in fact, in the world of South Park , more or less everything and everyone is funny. And the more we are told not to laugh at it, the funnier it is.

An eight-year-old gluing somebody elses pubic hair to his face and claiming to be Kris Kristofferson. Thats funny.

An eighteen-year-old determining that a more or less monosyllabic kid in a wheelchair would make the perfect lead singer for his metal band. Thats funny.

Australian wildlife expert Steve Irwin turning up at a Halloween party with a stingray barb in his chest, just weeks after the real Steve Irwin was killed by a stingray barb in the chest. Thats... funny?

No, it isnt.

Well, maybe it is a little.

In fact, maybe it is a lot.

Yeah, thats funny. Not because Irwins death, or the nature of it, was any cause for mirth. But because (and yes, its a clich but that doesnt mean its not true), sometimes laughter is the only worthwhile response to any kind of tragedy. The best medicine, as they say. A panacea for your pain.

It isnt a matter of belittling something that for all intents and purposes is extraordinarily sad. It isnt a matter of making light of something that we should all be in darkest mourning about. It isnt even a matter of watching a disaster unfold on live television and thinking, Thatd make a great Halloween costume. Its a matter of putting tragedy behind us and getting on with life in a better frame of mind.

During World War II, as the Nazis rained bombs down on Britain, a song went around the shelters and hospitals that might not have changed the fact that the city was burning, that the bombed had lost everything, that people were dying. But it made the survivors smile regardless.

Hitler has only got one ball

The other is in the Albert Hall

His mother

The dirty bugger

Cut off the other when he was small.

Did Hitler really only have one ball? Did his mother even contemplate removing one of her infant sons testicles? And did she then deposit it deep within one of the most prestigious concert venues in the world? Probably not. But a lot of people sang the song then, and they were still singing it twenty, thirty years later. Today, theyd most likely be arrested for mocking the sacrifices of that terrible conflict and glorifying one of modern cultures manifold He Who Shall Not Be Nameds. Ho hum. Modern cultures loss.

Another war, another song. Oddly, but grimly, apt in the light of sundry recent concerns. This one dates from World War I, when the Germans routinely deployed mustard gas against their entrenched English foe.

I got gassed last night, I got gassed the night before

Going to get gassed tonight if we never get gassed no more

When we get gassed, were sick as we can be

Cos phosgene and mustard gas is much too much for me.

Could you imagine someone singing that song today?

No. But could you imagine somebody thinking about singing it and then censoring themselves before someone else does?

Cough.

Increasingly, we live in a world where opinion is pinioned by the need not to offend, nor even risk offense, by sayingeven lightheartedlysomething that someone might feel belittled by. Including people who arent actually present when the remark is made.