Jamie K. Schmidt - The Binge Watchers Guide to the Handmaids Tale

But who can remember pain, once its over?

All that remains of it is a shadow, not in the mind even, in the flesh. Pain marks you, but too deep to see. Out of sight, out of mind.

~ Margaret Atwood, The Handmaids Tale

My first experience with The Handmaids Tale by Margaret Atwood was when I was 16 years old in 1986. The book had been nominated for the Nebula Award that year, an award thats given out by the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America (SFWA), and since I was an aspiring science fiction/fantasy novelist, I wanted to read all the Nebula entries to see what the magic ticket was to get a publishing contract.

As a sheltered white, cis, het teenager blinded by her privilege at the time, most of the books message went over my head and I remember being pissed at the ending... I thought it was a bullshit cop out of an ending. If I had tried that instant rejection from the editors. The only thing that saved it from being a wall bangera book that you throw against the wallwas that I did get a message that resonated with me for most of my life:

For evil to thrive, good people just have to do nothing.

It wasnt enough for good people just to hope that the problem would go away. The good people had to rise up and take a stand, even when it was painful or inconvenient or unpopular to be silent and complacent.

But the ending still bothered me. So I decided that Nick had sent the protagonist to freedom instead of death or punishment. The thing is, I looked for romance in everything I read. In some ways, I still do.

I thought back then, what kind of a stupid book would have a shitty ending like that, where he would just give her up to the Eye for execution? To quote the kid from The Princess Bride movie, Jesus, Grandpa, why did you read me this thing for?

Oh, my sweet summer child. Past Jamie had a lot to learn about the real world. I had a lot to learn about writing as well, that not every story has a happily ever after, and that sometimes the greatest romance the heroine has is learning to love herself.

After that, I mostly forgot about the book. It had made me uncomfortable and the dystopian society seemed so implausible and more like something that happened in the past. That shit was so 1800s. Women had the right to vote. We had fought for equal rights. The hard part was over, right?

Did I mention I was a very sheltered and privileged 16 year-old cis het girl?

Flash forward five years. Im now 21 and the 1990 Volker Schlondorff movie is on HBO. I vaguely remembered the details of the book at this point, but I was so excited to see the movie. Finally, Id find out what the handmaids fate was! There was no way that Hollywood would let this remain vague.

... I dont remember a lot from the movie. Looking back on it now, it was very 80s inspired. Natasha Richardson was gorgeous as Kate, the former librarian. Those details werent from the book, but it was nice to have a name for her other than Offred. And Aidan Quinn was Nick. Hubba hubba. He was so fine. Robert Duvall and Faye Dunaway, as the commander and his wife, were perfectly sadistic, but I dont remember Elizabeth McGovern as Moira at all. I remember thinking at the time that Robert Duvall was a disgusting old man. Not the commander, but Robert Duvall. Thats how good of an actor he was. It wasnt until 2003 in Secondhand Lions that I appreciated this. All of his other roles from 1990 until 2003, I saw the commander instead of whatever character Robert was portraying. He turned my stomach. Fortunately, Hub from Secondhand Lions is now how I see Robert Duvall. Its much nicer this way.

And yet, I still didnt get the impact of the movie or books message.

All I got out of the movie was the answer to my question about what happened to the handmaid. I wanted a happy ending. The commander gets whats coming to him. Serena Joy is husband-less, and therefore powerless. Kate and Nicks romance was validated. What I thought was wildly romantic back in the early 90s, was bordering on creepy when I recently re-watched the movie. Nick kisses her out of the blue, and yanks her nightgown down for their first romantic encounter.

Yuck.

But in the movie, Nick was working undercover for Maydaythe resistanceall along. He got her and their baby out to the mountains for safety. And like the 1984 movie, Against All Odds, I knew the two lovers would eventually find each other again. And since Nick was such a mensch, hed also bring Kates daughter back to her, who was pretty much an afterthought for the entire movie.

And what about Gilead? Back in the 90s, it was a laughable concept in my sheltered world. A dystopian country whose politics were as real to me at Frank Herberts Dune . I had more of a chance of becoming a Bene Gesserit than a Handmaid, even though at the time if Gilead happened it would be me on the bed in a red dress.

Flash forward 26 years, and Hulu has made a series out of Margaret Atwoods book. Im now 47 years old. Too old to be a handmaid. Not rich and powerful enough to be a Commanders wife. Not domestically talented to be a Martha. And without the temperament to be an Econowife. Id strictly be an Unwomanif I wasnt executed during the purge.

In 2017, Gilead is no longer a dystopian fantasy. Its a believable outcome that doesnt have to wait for a nuclear disaster or a civil war to happen. Its practically a few laws away. Im now a mother and Gilead looms closer every day. The idea that someone could take my child away to give to another worthier family isnt fucking fantasy anymore. Trump was the president. States are passing bills that reduce pregnant women to incubators. People are showing their ugly sides.

Nolite te bastardes carborundorum indeed.

Not to mention that at the time this guide was written, we were at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, and race riots for the unjust killing of black men and women were commonplace. Martial law and Trump dissolving the constitution to better protect Americas interests seemed only a Twitter rant away.

Shit has gotten real.

I finally got it. I finally got the meaning in the 1985 book, why it was nominated for a Nebula Award, and why it has haunted me, both consciously and sub-consciously, for over 30 years.

The world that Margaret Atwood has created is terrifying. Show runner Bruce Miller keeps true to the spirit of the book, while holding up a mirror to modern society. The actors are gritty and real. And the series itself feels like a documentary instead of fiction, as if Gilead is only a border away from sanity.

I had thought I was prepared for the series. I was even looking forward to it hoping, at last, for a conclusive ending. I wanted a happy ending for Nick and Kate and her first daughter. Except in the Hulu series, Kate is June, and her husband is very much alive. And as Im watching, Im experiencing Junes story as if I was June. It didnt matter that I am long past my childbearing prime. I was with June from the moment they snatched her daughter away from her. Because I could see Gilead happening. Right now. Tomorrow. All it would take for evil to flourish would be good people to do nothing.