Siddhartha Gigoo - THE LION OF KASHMIR

Siddhartha Gigoos books are The Garden of Solitude, A Fistful of Earth and Other Stories (longlisted for the Frank OConnor International Short Story Award 2015), A Long Dream of Home: The Persecution, Exodus and Exile of Kashmiri Pandits (co-edited), Once We Had Everything: Literature in Exile (co-edited) and Mehr: A Love Story. In 2015, he won the Commonwealth Short Story Prize (Asia) for his short story, The Umbrella Man. His stories have been longlisted for Lorian Hemingway Short Story Prize, Royal Society of Literatures V.S. Pritchett Short Story Prize, and Sen OFaolin Short Story Prize.

Siddharthas short films, The Last Day and Goodbye, Mayfly, have won several awards at international film festivals. His writings appear in various literary journals. Hes also the co-founder of Daalaan, a Hindi literary magazine.

For more, visit siddharthagigoo.com.

Also by the same author

The Garden of Solitude (2011)

A Fistful of Earth and Other Stories (2015)

Mehr: A Love Story (2018)

Published by

Rupa Publications India Pvt. Ltd 2020

7/16, Ansari Road, Daryaganj

New Delhi 110002

Copyright Siddhartha Gigoo 2020

All rights reserved.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously and any resemblance to any actual person, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in a retrieval system, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher.

ISBN: 978-93-5333-817-6

First impression 2020

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated, without the publishers prior consent, in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published.

Here we are always late by a certain interval of time of which we cannot define the length.

BRUNO SCHULZ,

Sanatorium under the Sign of the Hourglass

Only two rivers flow here: Dead River and Red River.

ARVIND GIGOO,

Gulliver in Kashmir

Contents

Book I
PENUMBRA

Book II
UMBRA

Book III
THE JOURNAL OF ABDUL AZIZ

W e have some more distance to cover. If we walk fast, well be there in no time. Do you see that embankment over there? Well rest there for a while. Yes, thats where the fish are in abundance. And well take a boat ride too. The water in the lake isnt as cold as it seems; it is cold only on the surface. But down below, it is warm. The fish wont survive if the water is icy. And if you do exactly as I say, youll learn how to swim like a fish. No one will ever tease you then. You trust me, dont you? Im not fibbing, and I wont lie to you ever. I know you can do big things. I know how brave you are. Did you know I was about your age when I learnt swimming? I learnt swimming in a river, not in a lake. Dad taught me. It was difficult at first. I feared drowning. But I overcame the fear. Do you know how? Because dad was by my side! He never let me out of his sight even for a moment. When I got breathless in the water, he carried me in his arms and taught me how to breathe. Then, I started swimming on my own. Dad swam next to me. Every day we went swimming. Soon, I learnt how to dive off the bridge. People looked at me with awe and disbelief. They thought I was showing off. I wanted to do things that no one dared to. I dreamt of climbing the highest cliffs, walking on razor-sharp ridges, and summiting peaks where no birds lived.

You are my responsibility now. I will hold you tight in the water till you become fearless. Well do this one step at a time. Ill hold you until you learn how to float. Youll then learn how to tame water. In no time you will be swimming like a champion. Until then, you should listen to everything I say. That is my only condition. Imagine swimming from this end of the lake to the other. You will be known as the youngest crosser of this magnificent lake. What I couldnt do at your age, you will. When we reach the other side, you will understand that everything that happened happened for a reason.

I know you never get tired. Youre stronger than I am. Listen to me carefully now, pay attention. I have to attend to something urgent. I wont be long. I want you to wait for me here. Why dont you look at the fish till I return? Remember we are going to have an exciting day. Its your special day. Were going swimming finally. Once you get into the water, you wont want to come out. You wont be alone. Here, put on these headphones and listen to music. You can listen to anything that you wish to; your favourite tracks or any other songs you like. I will be back before the song ends.

I cross the road and the mist cuts me off. Zubair is out of sight. Then the mist disappears and Zubair is visible once again. He hasnt moved. He hasnt removed the headphones. I dont lose sight of him. I look at him and wait. I know he wont disobey me. My forefinger is curled around the trigger. I have everything figured out but somehow I cant get myself to do what Im supposed to do. Ive rehearsed this over and over again. Its been flawless every time. The desired result is just a shot away. A gentle push and Zubair will be in the water. He wont feel a thing.

If it doesnt happen here, then I must switch to Plan B. The railway track isnt far. The last train arrives in the evening. The job has to be done today. There wont be a tomorrow. It has got to be done today. Dad was right. I cant let Zubair go through an ordeal at someone elses hands. He must not come to any harm. He mustnt be left alone to

Book I

Penumbra

When we are away from home, in new and strange places, we get to know ourselves better.

Jokha Alharthi,

Celestial Bodies

Home Away from Home

I am on a flight thats about to land. A gorgeous countryside with lush green fields is in sight. Bountiful sunshine has carpeted the grasslands. Horses are grazing. Cows are asleep. Fields of hay run over the hills. What is this place? I have seen places like this only in the movies. I feel like I have been on board for hardly a second and the white outside has turned to green. How is it possible for winter to have turned to summer in no time at all? I rush to the toilet to pee. After I am done, I try to open the door to go back to my seat. The damn door doesnt open. It is stuck. It appears that someone has purposely bolted it from the outside to prevent my exit. I knock on the door. It makes no sound. The entire place is soundproof. I cant locate my spare trousers. People start getting off the plane, and I cant even remember why I was on it in the first place.

Your dreams cant compare with mine. If our dreams were to compete, I would win every time because my grandma was always the champ. I have inherited the dreams she didnt dream. She used to sit me down in the mornings and tell me about her dreams when dad hadnt shown up for days. Thats how she kept me engrossed. I never believed in her dreams but now I do. Every dream she ever told me about is true. When she was dying, she told me about the funny dreams she had; chance encounters with animals and funny people like clowns of a circus. I knew they werent true but I believed them. Even after her death, she didnt stop making unannounced appearances in my dreams. She is now making me dream her unfinished dreams.