Danny Gregory - Shut Your Monkey: How to Control Your Inner Critic and Get More Done

SHUT

YOUR

MONKEY

How to Control Your Inner Critic and Get More Done

By Danny Gregory

Cincinnati, Ohio

For youand all the great creative things you are going to do.

CONTENTS

I WROTE THIS BOOK FOR ME

I wrote this book for the same reason Ive written more than a half dozen others. Because I wanted to read it and couldnt find it in my bookstore. A book about a creature that lives in my head.

Ever since I was fairly small, Ive heard this little voice that provides a running narration for most of the things I do. It comments on my decisions, it tells me what other people were thinking about me, it points out bad things that might happen if I do one thing or another. And it hardly ever shuts up!

While this voice clearly lives in my head, I knew it wasnt really me. It didnt sound like me and it didnt help me. It limited me. It scared me. It kept me up at night. If this voice was me, it wasnt the me I wanted to be.

Eventually I started to look for ways to get away from this voice. Or at least to listen to it less. It may not be possible to completely turn it off forever but I just wanted it to matter less, to stay out of my way. As I grew older, the voice troubled me less about certain things and took up other causes instead. Instead of saying I was zitty, it called me wrinkledthat sort of thing. Clearly, the solution wasnt to wait it out. Instead I had to outwit it.

I started to poke around and I realized that every creative person I came across had the same sort of problem. In fact, most everyone with a mind did too. So if the voice is in every head and yet those heads manage to do incredible things like invent the iPhone, learn Italian, and have retrospectives at the Guggenheim, it is possible to fight this voice and win. Many people have.

So I did a lot of thinking and reading and talking to experts and I came to understand this voice and what it wanted. And I also learned how to avoid its influence... well, most of the time.

Important confession: I will admit to you now, at the beginning of this book, while you still have time to find your receipt and return it to the bookstore, that I still occasionally fall victim to this voice. Even while I was writing these very pages, the voice intruded, stuck out a foot, distracted and almost sabotaged me several times. But, despite these setbacks, I do know, after all this searching, how to get past this powerful force and get on with my life. And I will share all I learned with you.

Together well unravel the causes of this pesky demon and the many ways it can affect you. Along the way, I will tell you about my own struggles with my inner critic. Ill also share some examples from the many, many people who have told me tales of their struggles.

And finally well get to the solutionsstrategies that wont just shut down the voice in your head; theyll also help you to do great work, achieve your ambitions, and ultimately help make the world a better place.

The voice in your head is not evil, but it does evil.

It is powerful, but its power can be broken.

And now more than ever in the history of our brainy species, we need to take it on and prevent it from preventing us from addressing the many challenges our world faces today. I hope when were done, youll find these ideas and strategies useful. And if you dont, I hope you will write your own book and tell me where I can buy a copy.

PSSST!

Here you are, minding your own business.

Maybe youre gazing out the window, daydreaming about your future.

Or youre wandering through a bookstore, looking for inspiration to refocus your life.

Maybe you just got off the phone with your old school mate who told you he quit his job to start his own business.

Or you just got briefed on a new project at work and youre staring at the blank screen of your computer.

Or maybe its 3 A.M. and you are just staring at the ceiling, much too wide awake.

Your attention shifts inward, to a spot behind your eyeballs.

A little voice starts up back there and its murmuring, just to you.

The voice is here to warn you that what you are doingor thinking of doing, or just thinking about thinking about doingis a terrible idea that will destroy your life. It tells you the dire consequences that are about to fall on you. How your life will unravelmaybe even endif you take the step you are contemplating. It is here to worry you, to scare you, to stop you.

The voice makes you second-guess yourself. You can go from the verge of making a decision to backing away, to asking others opinions, to questioning your judgment, to trashing everything you have ever accomplished, dismissing every bit of praise or encouragement you have ever received, doubting yourself to the core.

This voice uses more than just words. It messes with your body, your nerves, your sweat glands. It makes you physically anxious. It squirts adrenaline into your bloodstream, ties your guts in knots, releases butterflies to flop around your tummy, and gushes cold sweats down your pits and brow.

It knows you well. In fact, it sounds like a caring friend, concerned and just here to protect you from a horrible decision. Its a familiar old voice, one thats been whispering in your ear as far back as you can remember.

Its the voice of the inner critic, the opposition, the prosecutor, the worry wart. Its the voice of doom.

If you hear this voice, and I know you do, youre not crazy. Youre not a loser. Youre not alone. Youre just human.

But despite how common this predicament is, its also very damaging. The voice has the ability to limit your potential, crush your happiness and derail your dreams.

And were going to stop it.

THE VOICE AND THE MAKER

More than anything, the voice messes with creative people. And in one way or another these days, most of us are involved with creativity. New ideas, new directions: these are the situations that make the voice jabber loudest. Why? Because the voice hates change and risk and whenever we rearrange the mental furniture of our lives, it freaks out. The voice fears the unknown and the different because they cant be controlled.

This is an important thing to remember: When the voice starts up, its because you are trying to change something. And if you are going to be a functioning person on this ever-turning planet, you will have to eventually make change too. So to be happy (or even functional), you are going to have to learn to shut that voice down.

WHO AM I AND WHAT DO I KNOW?

Throughout this book, I am going to share stories from my own life and career to show how the voice can limit youand how to shut it down.

I have been a creative person my whole life and people have been paying me to make things for over thirty years. Ive been a copywriter, an author, an illustrator, a creative director, an advertising executive, and an entrepreneur. I have created many, many new ideas with millions of dollars at stake. I have had many briefings, deadlines, presentations, reviews, awards, and failures. I have spent lots of times staring at blank pages and empty screens, wrestling with that voice inside me. Ive made some poor decisions, mismanaged relationships, limited and tortured myselfall because I listened to the voice when I should have known better.