Natasha Deen - Depth of Field

Cover shows a flower field. A camera lens is zoomed in on a flower.

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Natasha Deen

Copyright Natasha Deen 2022

Published in Canada and the United States in 2022 by Orca Book Publishers.

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All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system now known or to be invented, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

Title: Depth of field / Natasha Deen.

Names: Deen, Natasha, author.

Series: Orca soundings.

Description: Series statement: Orca soundings

Identifiers: Canadiana (print) 20210164298 | Canadiana (ebook) 20210164336 | ISBN 9781459832206 (softcover) | ISBN 9781459832213 ( PDF ) | ISBN 9781459832220 ( EPUB )

Classification: LCC PS 8607. E 444 D 47 2022 | DDC jc813/.6dc23

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021934055

Summary: In this high-interest accessible novel for teen readers, Josh discovers a criminal operation while on a photography assignment.

Orca Book Publishers is committed to reducing the consumption of nonrenewable resources in the production of our books. We make every effort to use materials that support a sustainable future.

Orca Book Publishers gratefully acknowledges the support for its publishing programs provided by the following agencies: the Government of Canada, the Canada Council for the Arts and the Province of British Columbia through the BC Arts Council and the Book Publishing Tax Credit.

Edited by Tanya Trafford

Design by Ella Collier

Cover photography by Getty Images/Sandra Schmid

and Getty Images/in8finity

Printed and bound in Canada.

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For Tabitha

The world is ending, and I cant breathe. Correction. My world is ending, and its all thanks to Noel Brown. Noel and his weekly parties on his giant country property. Parties I never go to because Noel and I have a bad history. Like, Noel beating me up every day back in junior high.

But here I am, standing outside his house and looking through the window. I came tonight because my girlfriend, Lian, asked me to. Begged for us to go. Things have been rocky between us. I gave in. Told myself Noel wouldnt dare do anything. Were in twelfth grade now, and Im over six feet tall. I tower over Noel. I thought, Whats the worst that can happen?

And then the worst happened.

The window gives me a clear view of the living room and the couch. On that couch I see that deadbeat druggie Noel kissing Lian. Like, really kissing her, tongue and all. And its painfully obvious that my girlfriend is totally into it. Thats the part that crushes me. When was the last time she was that happy to kiss me? Come to think of it, when was the last time she kissed me?

Hey, man, what are you, some kind of creeper?

Someone claps their hand on my shoulder. It takes me a second to recognize my buddy Daniel. His gaze goes to the window. Whoa, man. Isnt that Lian? When did you break up?

I dont know, I want to say. Uh I clear my throat. God, it feels like I swallowed a bunch of razors. We didnt Sudden tears burn my eyes. I swipe them away and hope Daniel doesnt see.

Daniel springs forward and raps on the window. Hey! Lian Wu, what are you doing?

Noel and Lian snap apart.

Josh just saw everything! Not cool!

Lians brown eyes go wide. She bolts upright. Her red-and-purple braid swings over her shoulder.

Noel leans back on the couch and smirks at the window.

It takes everything in me not to crash through the glass and punch him right in the mouth. Noels been smirking at me since seventh grade. I hate that smirk. And I hate Lian for giving him another reason to think hes above me.

Daniel keeps yelling at the window, even though theres no way they can hear him. If youre going to cheat on Josh, choose better than Noel! Ive seen that dude kiss his reflection in the mirror. Then Daniel turns to me. He drops his voice. Im so sorry, man.

Yeah.

Then Daniel goes quiet. That in itself is amazing. Ive never heard Daniel go silent. That guy never stops talking.

It doesnt last long. You and Lian should talk, he says. Unless you need space?

From her or from you? I ask.

Daniel grins. His teeth flash white in the moonlight. Good one. Look, if you need me, Im around, okay?

I nod. As he steps back out of the bushes and heads around to the back of the house, I call out, Hey, Daniel? Thanks.

Yeah, man. It sucks, but it happens. Maybe you two will work it out. Then hes disappearing around the corner and heading toward the firepit at the back of Noels property. And I head into a fight with the girl who used to love me.

With every step, my feet feel heavier. Every passing second makes me feel old. By the time I step into the warmth of the two-story house, I feel like Im a hundred years old, not seventeen.

My hearts wet and soggy. Maybe thats my face. I swipe at my cheeks again, then press my fingers against my eyes. How do I do this? How do I make her feel the total horror of what Ive seen? Or maybe I avoid the whole thing. Should I even say anything? Maybe I should pretend I dont care. Our relationship hasnt been great for a while. I could fake like shes done me a favor.

I spot them both in the hallway. Still together.

I told you he wouldnt do anything, says Noel as they walk toward me. He likes to believe hes a lover, not a fighter. But we all know what a coward looks like.

Now would be a perfect time for me to punch Noel. Or say something witty to prove Im better than him. But thats the problem. In my head, I always defeat Noel. In reality, I do a weird frozen-rabbit thing. Its humiliating.

I got this, Lian says to Noel. She leads me back to the living room where I saw her and Noel making out. Theres no one else here. They must all be out at the firepit.

Seriously? I ask. This is the place you pick for us to talk?

Its private, she says.

Not that private, I mutter.

Her face goes bright red.

For a second all I can do is look at her. I loved playing with her hair. Loved how it would fall against her shoulders when she laughed. But shes not laughing now.

Neither am I. I look down at my hands. My skins gone from brown to gray. I cant tell if thats because of the ceiling lights or if Im losing color because my heart is bleeding out. I close the drapes. How long have you been cheating on me?

This was the first time, Joshie

Dont call me that. Dont ever call me that again.