Kate Coombs - Monster School

Climb up the wistful, mistful hill where weeping gargoyles sit. Slip past the gloomful, moonful graves where small ghosts peer and flit. Walk up the weary, dreary path where scarab beetles crawl. Come in the sneaky, creaky door and pace the doom-dark hall. Twilights here. The death bell rings.

Everyone knows what the death bell brings... Its time for class. Youre in the place where goblins wail and zombies drool. (Thats because theyre kindergartners.) Welcome to... For my sister Holly K. C.
For Amos L.

G. Text copyright 2018 by Kate Coombs.
Illustrations copyright 2018 by Lee Gatlin.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
Names: Coombs, Kate, author. | Gatlin, Lee, illustrator.
Title: Monster school / by Kate Coombs ; illustrated by Lee Gatlin.
Description: San Francisco : Chronicle Books, 2018.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016030456
ISBN 9781452129389 (hc) | ISBN 9781452157573 (epub, mobi)
Subjects: LCSH: MonstersJuvenile poetry.
Classification: LCC PS3603.O5796 A6 2017 | DDC 811/.6dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016030456 Design by Amelia Mack.
Typeset in 1820 Modern.
The illustrations in this book were rendered in traditional and digital media. Chronicle Books LLC
680 Second Street
San Francisco, California 94107 Chronicle Bookswe see things differently.
Become part of our community at www.chroniclekids.com.

Stevie always loses things.

Today he lost his arm. He lost his mittens yesterday and his anti-lose-things charm. Stevie lost his kneecap. Stevie lost his nose. He lost his homework, lost his snack, and now hes lost his toes. Appleby. Appleby.

Everyone help look! Now Stevies lost an eyeball and his backpack and a book. The backpacks in the corner. The books beneath a desk. We find the homework and the toes but give up on the rest.

Me? Im multicultural. I come from here and there.

Thats why I have a bunch of claws and floating purple hair. Great-grandma Exomandras had a wand for zapping things. Great-grandpa Fog had seven horns and two enormous wings. Great-grandma Jane liked bridges, and her favorite meal was goat. She met Great-grandpa Anton in a deep and slithery moat. Great-grandma Rose was elven, and she always dressed in green.

Great-grandpa George was boggart and was just a little mean. The last of my great-grandmas built her houses out of cake. The last of my great-grandpas often turned into a snake. And now Im me, but as you see, I come from everyplace. Thats why I have three scaly tails and move with fairy grace. Im really multicultural.

Are you multicultural too? I see a lot of things now that I take a look at you.

You hear her voice before you see her coming down the hall toward you. Her voice has lots of smiles in it and makes you smile too. She keeps her magic in her freckles thats what people say. I just know she really sees me, asking, How are you today? She likes it when you tell her jokes. Then she tells some and laughs a lot.

She waves at someone, drops her books, and shows you beetles that she caught. Spiders ride her shoulders, her clothes are trimmed in spider lace. Ants crawl up and down her arms, she has twelve freckles on her face. Off she goes, shes always singing, old songs, new songs, songs she makes theyll get you dreaming sunny mornings, your favorite tree, and chocolate cakes. She isnt someone on TV, but we all listen when she speaks.

Im alone in my stone. Im alone in my stone.

Always frowning like I just got some bad news. Wings always lifting as if I really could fly. I am gray and marked by lichen on one side. Gargoyle, they call me, just gargoyle. But I know my name.

Its nice to be shy.

People say its not, but they dont know. Sometimes I like to watch the other kids playing. Other times I look at the trees, the way a branch sways a little when a bird lands on it. During recess, I take my book outside and sit on the steps. People call me a ghost, like my edges are fluttering.

Shes coming. Shes coming.

Be quiet. Fernanda Kabul is little and pretty and all dressed in black. Shes smiling. Be careful. Fernanda Kabul always smiles like that when shes going to attack. She can call down a snowstorm or call up a wraith.

Fernanda has spells in her gut and her eyes. She can bully the future or silence the past. She tells all the grown-ups incredible lies. One time Josh was laughing at something I said and she thought he was laughing at her. By the time she was finished he wasnt a kid: He was three inches long. Its her. Its her.

Just look normal. Fernanda Kabul reminds me of winter. Shes proud of her power. When Jennifer Melton would not let her win, the girl wound up eating fried toads for an hour. According to teachers, Fernanda is sweet. She does all her homework two weeks in advance.

She plays in the chess club, she sings in the choir, she puts all the grown-ups in some kind of trance. Its okay, shes gone now. Did you see that look? Alexander is next. He should stay home from school, avoiding the wrath of the princess of hex the terrible, heartless Fernanda Kabul.

Okay. Home plate is Agnes Crump, first base is Frederick Howl.

Second is Camphor Medley and third is Prudence Powell. Swing the bone bat at the skull, then run around the bases. Do not trip over any graves or knock down funeral vases. Dont let the ghouls grab you or you wont make it home. Well try to get you back before youre in the catacomb. Dont argue with Coach Gorey hes much worse than he seems.

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