Rob Elliott - Laugh-Out-Loud A+ Jokes for Kids (Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids)

T o all the teachers who work tirelessly to give our kids a wonderful learning experience. Whether you teach in a public or private school or as a home educator, your sacrifice for the next generation is changing the world. Teach the children so it will not be necessary to teach the adults. Abraham Lincoln Contents Q: When are teachers like cheese? A: When they are grating. Q: How are bus drivers like trees? A: They both have routes. Q: What do you need to bring to music class? A: A note-book. Q: What do you call the worm that ate Beethoven? A: A de-composer. Q: Why did the chemistry teacher stop telling jokes? A: She never got a reaction. Student: Does the library have any newspapers or magazines? Teacher: Periodically! Q: Why should you give your teacher a comb if hes bald? A: Hell never part with it! Q: Why should you tell jokes in anatomy class? A: The teacher thinks theyre humerus. Knock, knock. Whos there? Omelet. Omelet who? Omelet smarter than I look!Cassie: Do you like your astronomy class? Kelly: Its out of this world! Annie: I hear you got good grades in cosmetology school. Lucy: Yes, I nailed it! Q: What do dogs wear to science class? A: Lab coats. Q: Why cant you tell a lie in math class? A: The teacher knows when your story doesnt add up. Teacher: What can you tell me about the country of Greece? Billy: Its slippery! Q: What do whales eat for an after-school snack? A: Ships and salsa. Q: Whats a pirates favorite subject? A: Arrr-ithmetic. Q: Whats something you can catch but not throw in gym class? A: A cold. Q: How do the basketball players stay cool during games? A: They sit by their fans. Q: What is the best way to get straight As in school? A: Use a ruler. Q: Why did the textbook go to the hospital? A: It needed its appendix taken out. Q: Why are teachers so awesome? A: They have a lot of class. Q: Why did the library book go to the chiropractor? A: It needed its spine adjusted. Q: Why dont the cafeteria cooks use spices in the food? A: They dont have thyme for that. Q: Why are clarinet players so smart? A: Because they reed a lot! Carter: I want to have a space-themed birthday party. Mom: Great, Ill planet! Teacher: Are you sure the atom lost an electron? Student: Yes, Im positive! Q: What should you do if your chemistry teacher passes away? A: Barium. Teacher: How many sides does a circle have? Student: I dont know. Teacher: Never mind, its pointless!Teacher: Do you like your book about gravity? Student: Yes, I cant put it down! Q: Why were the goats sent to the principals office? A: They kept butting heads. Q: Why did the chicken run onto the soccer field? A: Because the ref called fowl. Q: Why dont bumblebees drink coffee before they go to school? A: They get too buzzed! Q: What do groundhogs like to read? A: Pop-up books. Q: Why did the librarian wear sparkly purple glasses? A: She wanted to make a spectacle of herself. Sam: Did you hear the principal wants to marry the school bell? Joe: Yes, he gave it a ring! Q: Where do they make all the books for school? A: In a fact-ory. Q: Why was the nose feeling sad at school? A: It kept getting picked on. Q: What do sea turtles like to study? A: Current events. Q: Why did the student throw the calendar out the window? A: To make the days fly by. Teacher: Why did you plant your math book in the ground? Student: So it will grow square roots! Knock, knock. Whos there? Spell. Spell who? W-H-O!Q: What do teachers drink in the winter? A: Hot chalk-olate. Q: Why did the lobster get a time-out at school? A: It was being shellfish. Q: Why did the farmer study geometry? A: He already had a pro-tractor! Student: What can you hear but never touch or see? Teacher: Your voice. Q: Why did the thermometer go back to college? A: It wanted another degree. Knock, knock. Whos there? Zinc. Zinc who? Zinc you will pass the chemistry test?Q: Where do science teachers eat their lunch? A: At the periodic table. Knock, knock. Whos there? Water. Water who? Water you making for the science fair?Q: Why cant you take your hamster to school? A: They dont make backpacks that small. Q: What is the difference between a kid and a fish? A: One has Cs in school, and the other has a school in the sea. Q: Why did the English teacher buy a rocking chair? A: So she could sit for a spell. Q: Why did the gym class learn karate? A: The teacher thought they would get a kick out of it! Q: Why did the math teacher have a nervous breakdown? A: He had too many problems to solve. Q: Why did the whale need a cello? A: So it could join the orca-stra. Q: Why didnt Jenny go to the library? A: She was already booked! Q: Why couldnt Jake join the track team? A: There were too many hurdles. Q: What does your music teacher need when it rains? A: A hum-brella. Q: What do rabbits play at recess? A: Hop-scotch. Q: What is the smartest state in America? A: Alabama, because it has four As and a B. Q: Why dont they serve rabbit in the cafeteria? A: Kids dont like hare in their food! Q: Why does Sally bark every morning when she gets to school? A: Shes the teachers pet. Q: When is it stinky at school? A: When the cafeteria lady is cutting the cheese. Q: Where do cows eat their lunch at school? A: In the calf-eteria. Q: What do science teachers eat after dinner? A: Experi-mints! Q: Why did the girl bring a ladder to school? A: She wanted a higher education. Q: When is an English teacher like a judge? A: When she hands out sentences! Q: Why did the teacher have to turn out the lights? A: Because her students were so bright! Teacher: Jill, why did you miss class yesterday? Jill: I didnt miss it! But I was sick. Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train? A: A teacher makes you spit out your gum, while a train says chew, chew, chew. Q: Why was the clock looking forward to spring break? A: It needed to unwind. Q: What did the buffalo say to his child when he left for school? A: Bi-son. Q: Why did the penguin skip its first day of school? A: It got cold feet! Teacher: Can you give me an example of an interrogative sentence? Jenny: Do I have to?