Rob Elliott - Laugh-Out-Loud Valentines Day Jokes for Kids

V alentines Day is about celebrating the ones we love and those who love us. This book is first dedicated to my forever valentine, Joanna. I also dedicate this book to my six amazing kids and wonderful family and friends. If there was ever a time in life to laugh and celebrate each day with the people we love, its now. Q: What did one marshmallow say to the other? A: I want smore time with you! Q: Why did the bee marry the rabbit? A: She was his honey bunny. Q: What did the farmer give his wife for Valentines Day? A: A hog and kiss! Q: How did the farmer show his wife he loved her? A: He brought home the bacon. Q: Who did the monster go out with on Valentines Day? A: His ghoul-friend. Knock, knock. Whos there? Joanna. Joanna who? Joanna be my valentine?Q: How do gardeners kiss? A: With their tulips. Q: What did A send B on Valentines Day? A: A love letter. Q: What did the dolphin do when his girlfriend broke up with him? A: He whaled! Q: What do cows like to do on Valentines Day? A: Cud-dle. Knock, knock. Whos there? Raisin. Raisin who? Youre the raisin Im so happy!Knock, knock. Whos there? Owl. Owl who? Owl always love you!Knock, knock. Whos there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to be my valentine?Knock, knock. Whos there? Fondue. Fondue who? Im very fondue you!Knock, knock. Whos there? Frank. Frank who? Frank you for loving me.Q: What happened when the cow didnt get any valentines? A: She felt moooo-dy! Q: What did the girl snake say to the boy snake? A: Will you be my boa-friend? Q: Why did the cows get married? A: They were udder-ly in love! Q: What did the wasp say to the bumblebee on Valentines Day? A: Youre my bee-loved. Q: Why dont polar bears and penguins fall in love? A: Because theyre polar opposites. Q: What did the skunk say when his girlfriend broke up with him? A: Love stinks! Knock, knock. Whos there? Abby. Abby who? Abby Valentines Day!Q: What happened when the vampire met his blind date? A: It was love at first bite. Q: How do you throw a Valentines Day party on the moon? A: You planet. Knock, knock. Whos there? Wool. Wool who? Wool you be my valentine?Q: What do you serve a boxer at a Valentines Day party? A: Punch and cookies. Q: Why shouldnt you date a sausage? A: Because theyre the wurst! Q: Why did the turtle have a bad time with her date? A: He wouldnt come out of his shell. Q: Why did the horse break up with her boyfriend? A: He didnt seem stable. Q: Why did the tree get back together with his girlfriend? A: They were turning over a new leaf. Q: What did the snakes do after their fight? A: They hissed and made up. Q: Why did the lion break up with his girlfriend? A: Because she was a cheetah. Q: How does a bison pay for dinner and a movie? A: It uses buffalo bills. Q: What did the wasp say to his girlfriend? A: Will you bee my valentine? Q: Where did the computer programmer take his girlfriend on Valentines Day? A: For a byte to eat. Q: Why did the sheep break up with her boyfriend? A: Because he was baaaaaa-d. Q: What did the sheep say to his girlfriend? A: I love ewe! Q: What do you call it when two boats fall in love? A: A relation-ship. Q: What do you give a knitter for Valentines Day? A: Diamonds and purls. Knock, knock. Whos there? Donate. Donate who? Donate make sense for you to be my valentine?Q: Where do tarantulas look for love? A: On dating web-sites. Q: What do you give your dad on Valentines Day? A: Lolli-pops. Q: What do bad guys give on February 14th? A: Villain-tines. Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: Im stuck on you. Q: Why do skunks celebrate Valentines Day? A: Theyre very scent-imental. Q: Whats the best thing to do on February 14th? A: Party heart-y! Q: Why did the horse stay home on Valentines Day? A: It decided to hit the hay! Q: How did the golfers celebrate Valentines Day? A: They had a tee party. Q: What did the bat say to his girlfriend? A: I like hanging out with you. Q: Why do maple trees love Valentines Day? A: Theyre very sappy. Q: Why did the noses break up? A: They kept picking on each other. Q: What did the chef give his wife for Valentines Day? A: A hug and a quiche. Jim: Joe, do you have a date for Valentines Day? Joe: I sure doits February 14th! Q: Why cant sunglasses get a date on Valentines Day? A: Theyre shady! Q: Why did the meteorologist cancel her date? A: She was feeling under the weather. Q: How did the broom know it was in love? A: It was swept off its feet. Knock, knock. Whos there? Russian. Russian who? Im Russian to finish making my valentines!Q: What happened to the atoms when they got in fight? A: They split up! Q: What kind of shoes do you wear to surprise your valentine? A: Sneakers. Q: Why did the dragons plan a date for Valentines Day? A: They wanted a knight on the town. Q: Why wouldnt the door go out with the window on Valentines Day? A: It was a pane! Q: When does a duck wake up on Valentines Day? A: At the quack of dawn. Q: Why did the librarian turn down her date for Valentines Day? A: She was already booked. Q: What happens if you forget to give a frog a valentine? A: It will feel unhoppy. Knock, knock. Whos there? Weirdo. Weirdo who? Weirdo we go to celebrate Valentines Day?Q: Why did the tailor and the quilter get married? A: Because they were sew in love! Q: Why did the calendar feel stressed on Valentines Day? A: It had too many dates to choose from. Knock, knock. Whos there? Police. Police who? Police be my valentine!Q: Why do baseball players always take their dates to restaurants? A: They like to stay behind the plate. Q: What begins with a P, ends with an E, and has millions of letters? A: A post office on Valentines Day. Knock, knock. Whos there? Annie. Annie who? Annie valentines for me today?