Rob Elliott - Laugh-Out-Loud Adventure Jokes for Kids

Q: Why were there lizards all over the bathroom wall? A: Because it had been rep-tiled. Q: How do you call an alligator? A: You croco-dial your phone. Knock, knock. Whos there? Wildebeest. Wildebeest who? Wildebeest marry Belle at the end of the story?Knock, knock. Whos there? Parmesan. Parmesan who? Do I have your parmesan to come in?Q: What do you call a squid with only six arms? A: A hexa-pus. Q: How does the runner like her eggs? A: With a dash of pepper. Q: Why did the polar bear spit out the clown? A: He tasted funny. Knock, knock. Whos there? Joanna. Joanna who? Joanna go to the races today?Q: Why did the sea captain throw peanut butter in the ocean? A: He wanted to attract the jellyfish. Q: What do you get when you cross an astronaut and a sea creature? A: A starfish. Q: Whats a sailors least favorite vegetable? A: A leek. Knock, knock. Whos there? Llama. Llama who? Llama in! Its cold out here!Knock, knock. Whos there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to go canoeing today?Q: What kind of vegetables wear socks? A: Potatoes. Q: Why dont fish ever go on vacation? A: Because theyre always in schools. Q: What kind of snake leads the band? A: A boa conductor. Q: What is a grasshoppers favorite sport? A: Cricket. Q: Why do babies like basketball? A: Theyre always dribbling. Parent: How was school today? Child: There was a kidnapping in our class today. Parent: Oh, no! What happened? Child: The teacher woke him up and gave him detention. Q: What kind of grades did the ship captain get? A: High Cs. Q: How do you throw a party on Mars? A: You planet. Knock, knock. Whos there? Wool. Wool who? Wool you go on an adventure with me?Knock, knock. Whos there? Philip. Philip who? Philip the car and we can be on our way.Q: What do boxers do when theyre thirsty? A: They get some punch. Knock, knock. Whos there? Joe King. Joe King who? Oh, no one. Knock, knock. Whos there? Joe King. Joe King who? Oh, no one.

Im just joking.Q: What did the man do when he was standing out in a thunderstorm? A: He hailed a cab. Q: What is an apes favorite kind of cookie? A: Chocolate chimp. Q: Where do you park your rocket on Mars? A: At a parking meteor. Q: What did the horse do after the trail ride? A: It hit the hay. Q: Why did the kids always fight during math class? A: There was division among them. Q: What do you get if you put a pig on a racetrack? A: A road hog! Q: What did the computer programmer do at lunchtime? A: She had a byte. Q: Why are night crawlers so smart? A: Theyre bookworms. Q: Why did the clock get in trouble? A: It wouldnt stop tocking. Q: Where do tarantulas get their information? A: From the World Wide Web. Q: Why did the toilet go to the doctor? A: It looked flushed! Q: Why did the karate instructor wear earplugs? A: He had sensei-tive ears. Q: What did the leopard say after dinner? A: That hit the spot. Q: How do you get a baby astronaut to stop crying? A: You rocket! Q: How does an elephant get ready for vacation? A: It packs its trunk. Q: Why did the maple tree watch romantic movies? A: It was sappy. Q: Who is the best dancer at the monsters ball? A: The boogieman. Q: Why did the snickerdoodle refuse to be eaten? A: It was one tough cookie. Q: Why did the pony get in trouble? A: It was horsing around. Knock, knock. Whos there? Iguana. Iguana who? Iguana go mountain climbing with you!Q: What is a black belts favorite drink? A: Kara-tea. Knock, knock. Whos there? Russian. Russian who? Im Russian around to get ready!Q: What did the atom do when it was ready to go? A: It split. Q: What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? A: Sneakers. Q: Why did the man quit being a dentist? A: He didnt have the patients for it. Q: Why did the chicken travel the world? A: It was tired of being cooped up! Q: When do ducks get out of bed? A: At the quack of dawn. Q: Why couldnt the librarian ever go on vacation? A: She was always booked. Q: How did the monkey escape from the zoo? A: In a hot-air baboon. Q: Why did the robot go on a camping trip? A: To recharge its batteries. Q: Why was it so windy in the football stadium? A: There were thousands of fans! Q: Why did the pelican run out of money? A: It had a big bill. Q: Why was the valley laughing? A: Because the mountains were hill-arious! Knock, knock. Whos there? Funnel. Funnel who? The funnel start once we head to the beach.Q: Why did the student do his homework in a helicopter? A: He wanted a higher education. Q: How do you make a strawberry shake? A: Tell it a scary story. Q: What did the horse say to the cowboy when it ran out of hay? A: Thats the last straw! Q: What do you get when a butcher and a baker get married? A: Meat loaf. Knock, knock. Whos there? Radio. Radio who? Radio not, here we come!Q: What is the easiest kind of lid to open? A: Your eyelid. Q: How do mountains stay warm in the winter? A: With their snowcaps. Q: Why did the boy bring his computer to the beach? A: He wanted to surf the internet. Q: How did the polar bear get to work? A: On a motor-icicle. Q: Why did the duck go skydiving? A: It wasnt chicken! Knock, knock. Whos there? Europe. Europe who? Europe very early this morning.Q: When are all the books in the library the same color? A: When theyre read. Q: What do you get when you cross a bicycle and a flower? A: A bike petal. Q: What did the sailor say every morning? A: Seas the day!