Elliott - Laugh-Out-Loud Animal Jokes for Kids

Q: Where do ants like to eat? A: At a restaur-ant. Q: What do alligators drink after they work out? A: Gator-ade. Q: What do a mouse and a wheel have in common? A: They both squeak. Q: What do frogs use so they can see better? A: Frog-lights. Q: Why cant you trust a pig? A: It will always squeal on you. Q: What kind of dog cries the most? A: A Chi-wah-wah (Chihuahua).

Q: Where do birds invest their money? A: In the stork market (stock market). Q: Why cant you borrow money from a canary? A: Because theyre so cheep (cheap). Q: What happened to the bee after he had four cups of coffee? A: He got a buzz. Q: Why was the bird nervous after lunch? A: He had butterflies in his stomach. Q: What did the father buffalo say to his son as he left for school? A: Bison (Bye, Son). Q: Where did the bat go to get some money? A: The blood bank.

Q: What kind of bear doesnt have any teeth? A: A gummy bear. Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk. Q: A cowboy arrives at the ranch on a Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is that possible? A: His horses name is Friday. Q: How did the cow make some extra money? A: By mooooo-nlighting at another farm. Q: What do cows like to eat? A: Smoooothies. Q: What do cows like to eat? A: Smoooothies.

Q: Why were the chickens so tired? A: They were working around the cluck. Q: What animals do you find in a monastery? A: Chip-monks! A duck walks into a store and asks the manager if he sells grapes. The manager says no, so the duck leaves. The next day the duck goes back to the store and asks the manager if he sells grapes. The manager says, NO, we dont sell grapes, so the duck leaves the store. The next day the duck goes back to the same store and asks the manager if he sells grapes.

The manager is furious now and says, NO, WE DO NOT SELL GRAPES! IF YOU COME BACK AND ASK IF WE SELL GRAPES AGAIN, ILL GLUE YOUR BEAK TO THE FLOOR! The next day the duck goes back to the same store and says to the manager, Excuse me, do you sell glue at this store? The manager says, No, we dont sell glue. The duck replies, Thats good. Do you sell grapes? Joe: Did that dolphin splash you by accident? Bill: No, it was on porpoise! Q: Why do flamingos stand on one leg? A: If they lifted the other leg, theyd fall over. Q: Where did the toy giraffe go when it was broken? A: To get plastic surgery. Q: What do you give a pig that has a cold? A: Trough syrup! Q: Why did the porcupine get sent home from the party? A: He was popping all the balloons! Q: What do you get when you cross a pig with a Christmas tree? A: A pork-u-pine. Q: What is a reptiles favorite movie? A: The Lizard of Oz.

Q: What did the spider do with its new car? A: It took it for a spin. Q: Where do shrimp go if they need money? A: The prawn shop. Q: Why did the snake lose his case in court? A: He didnt have a leg to stand on. Q: What do you get when you cross a fish and a kitten? A: A purr-anha. Q: What kind of bull doesnt have horns? A: A bullfrog. Q: How are fish and music the same? A: They both have scales.

Q: Why did the skunk have to stay in bed and take its medicine? A: It was the doctors odors. Q: What did the mother lion say to her cubs before dinner? A: Shall we prey? Q: Whats worse than raining cats and dogs? A: Hailing taxi cabs. Q: Why are pigs so bad at football? A: Theyre always hogging the ball. Q: What is a whales favorite game? A: Swallow the leader. Q: Why are fish so bad at basketball? A: They dont like getting close to the net. Q: Where do dogs go if they lose their tails? A: The re-tail store.

Q: What do you call a bear with no ears? A: B. Q: Why cant you trust what a baby chick says? A: Talk is cheep. Q: What are the funniest fish at the aquarium? A: The clown fish. Q: What is as big as an elephant but weighs zero pounds? A: An elephants shadow. Q: Why are horses always so negative? A: They say neigh (nay) to everything. Q: What is the smartest animal? A: A snake, because no one can pull its leg. Q: What is the smartest animal? A: A snake, because no one can pull its leg.

Two men went deer hunting. One man asked the other, Did you ever hunt bear? The other hunter said, No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts. Q: What is the best way to communicate with a fish? A: Drop it a line! Q: Why couldnt the elephants go swimming at the pool? A: They were always losing their trunks. Q: Why did the robin go to the library? A: It was looking for bookworms. Q: What did the dog say when he rubbed sandpaper on his tail? A: Ruff, ruff! Q: What is black and white and red all over? A: A penguin thats embarrassed. Q: What do you call a pig that is no fun to be around? A: A boar.