Jane Wenham-Jones - Wannabe A Writer?

Copyright 2007 Jane Wenham-Jones

The right of Jane Wenham-Jones to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

Apart from any use permitted under UK copyright law, this publication may only be reproduced, stored, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means, with prior permission in writing of the publishers or, in the case of reprographic production, in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency.

First published in 2007 by ACCENT PRESS LTD

This edition published in Ebook 2020 by Headline Accent,
an imprint of HEADLINE PUBLISHING GROUP

Cataloguing in Publication Data is available from the British Library

Cover Design by Compound Eye
Cover Photo: Bill Harris L.R.P.S.
Illustrations: Jane Wenham-Jones

eISBN: 978 1 9077 2617 0

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With thanks to the family gene pool and in memory of Miss Dorothy Morris the sort of primary-school teacher who understood the concept of being so engrossed in a book that one missed maths.

I will not even attempt to list everyone who helped with this book but I am hugely grateful to each author, agent, publisher, journalist and all the other contributors who appear in it and so generously shared their wisdom. Thank you very much indeed; I couldnt have done it without you literally. Others too, who may not make the index, deserve a mention. Thank you to my sister Judith for life-saving admin help when time was running short and my mother, Felicity, for checking my commas when I could no longer see straight. Also Catherine Merriman, Bill Harris and Julia Goddard for their expertise; and everyone on the mewriters email list for their friendship and support and providing such great displacement activity. My thanks to Teresa Chris for her shopping know-how (!) and everyone at Accent Press - especially Hazel, for her enthusiasm, and Bob, who deals so calmly with my neuroses. Finally, and in the hope of covering all bases, my apologies to whomever Ive forgotten, and my love and appreciation to my family and all that keeps me sane: wonderful friends, the cast of EastEnders and any vineyard producing Macon Blanc Villages. Thank you.

People often say you cant teach people to write. Maybe you cant. But you can teach them the craft and business of writing. There are so many easily-avoided pitfalls which I wish Id known about when I started out. (My first attempt at a Mills and Boon didnt have the hero enter until chapter three the beginning of chapter three, but still two chapters too late!)

I dont regret the years spent learning my craft (there were rather a lot of them) but I dont think Id have taken quite so long to write a publishable novel if Id had this book to hand! And it would have helped with all the work after acceptance, too. Theres so much to learn about editing, copy editing, proof reading, publicity things you never thought youd have to master, embarking on a solitary profession like writing. This book is the best friend you could have to support you through the ordeal. With its wealth of distinguished contributors, Wannabe a Writer? is like having lots of bestselling writers at your side to keep you at it when the going gets hard. It doesnt actually provide you with their mobile numbers, but you do get their accumulated wisdom in an easily digested form.

Wannabe a Writer? is light-hearted, fun, tremendously informative, and a really good present for yourself (if you Wannabe a Writer), your friend, your partner or your mother even if they dont want to write, but just want to be entertained and informed. I wish it had been on the shelves when I started out.

Katie Fforde

I have heard many authors tell the story with varying degrees of truth or accuracy of how they first got into print. I have listened as certain of them have stood up in a roomful of writers, all of whom desperately want to be published, and have made it sound as though, when they very first tried their hand at the writing game, it all fell into their laps.

Typically, they woke up one morning with this little idea that they might write a novel. So they dashed one off over the course of a few rainy weekends, found an agent on the Monday, were in a frenzied auction with ten top publishers by the Tuesday and banked their six- figure cheque on Friday just before they flew off to the States to discuss the screen-play.

They seem touchingly bewildered by their overnight success.

But not as bewildered as I am when I have known for a fact that the author in question had written three previous novels before the one that made it and had burst into tears at the Writers Circle Christmas Party when the twenty-seventh agent had written to suggest she stuck to crossword puzzles instead.

I have looked at the audiences at these talks, their faces crossed with a mixture of envy and despair, and thought how unfair it seems.

I vowed, when I was a much-rejected wannabe, that when I was published I would tell the truth about how long it took and how difficult it was.

Nobody fought over my manuscript. Rather, they unplugged their phones, switched email addresses, took long sabbaticals on the other side of the world and instructed their assistants to tell me theyd died of a rare and sudden tropical disease.

My file marked AGENTS those whove said sod off bulged and broke its seams. Publishers cowered from my offers of sexual favours, and remained unmoved when I chained myself to their railings.

I wept, wailed, got horribly drunk and spent 156.98 on postage. I did strange spells, took up chanting, consulted psychics, threatened to hang myself from the shower-rail if I didnt get a book-deal, and took to stalking.

What I didnt do was give up. I was determined to get that novel published, even if it meant rolling up to my launch party with no teeth and a colostomy bag. I think we can safely say I was obsessed.

And published it was. I did sell my book in the end, on a gloriously ecstatic, champagne-soaked day in August 2000 but it was by a long, circuitous and torturous route.

I kept going because after all the joy, elation, tears and liver damage Id suffered writing an entire manuscript dont believe anyone who says its easy I didnt want it wasted. Many have seen this attitude as a strength but it is also one of my failings. Sometimes you do have to waste things. As a writer you need a built-in crap-o-meter and an iron nerve to discard all the stuff that doesnt work.

But first and foremost you need determination. If faint heart never won fair lady it certainly didnt get a book deal either. If you, too, are on the point of cutting your throat because nobody wants to publish you, hold off until youve read this book. It might change your life.