Whitley Strieber - Melody Burning

Im goin far and far and far and far
Up past the trees and the sky and the stars.
Far and far and far and far,
Where its soft forever, soft and blue, soft and blue,
And I can reach out, and I can touch you
Far and far and far and far.

T he set is blazing hot, and Im dying. Thank heavens Ted the Elf called a break. (Thats my own private nickname for our tiny, hoppity director.) Now Im in my trailer, where Im supposed to have a little peace and quiet, but Mom is screaming at Mark, my manager, over the fact that Swingles isnt using my music in the dance sequences.

Mom says into her phone, We have to do this, Mark. We need the exposure! Plus, its in her contract.... Why not? Shes the starit can only help the show!... So whats he doing? Does he have another ingenue in the wings? Some tramp, Linda Lady or somebody?

Linda Lady is my competitionsort of. Shes all electronics, though. She cant actually sing, so shes gonna do a concert sooner or later that reveals shes lip-synching. There will be no forgiveness.

Mom paces, she makes a whistling sound through the plastic cigarette she uses whenever she is near me, and all of a sudden I feel this amazing love for her. She tries so hard. If we go down, its not just going to break her heartits going to break her totally.

Theres a knock. Mom looks at the door like a rabbit looks at a wolf, but its only Thor Bradford, my acting coach.

Thor comes in. He appraises me, his eyes taking in every detail. He grins and twiddles his fingers at Mom, who takes this as her cue to leave us alone in the trailer.

As she goes out, she crushes the plastic cigarette to pieces in an ashtray. By the time the door closes, shes already back on her BlackBerry. Shes calling for the box office overnights. The question every afternoon is the same: How is the Greek filling? What if I have to play to a half house? Or if I have to make up an excuse and cancel? Miss McGrath has sprained her elbow and cannot perform. Behind every excuse like that lies the same reality: empty seats.

These are dangerous times for any performer, especially somebody like me, just building an audience.

Thor asks me, Honey, do you have a problem with Alex? No. (That is to say, YES!)

Because on the dailies, were seeing you kind of bend away from him when he tries to kiss you. Like he smells bad. Not like you wish hed follow through.

I thought I was supposed to be unsure. It says in the script, unsure.

Then Thor takes me in his arms and says, My Tic Tac loves your Tic Tac! (Yes, the show is stupid. And yes, its full of product placements. They have to make money, and anyway I actually do like Tic Tacs.)

I lean backbut then he stage kisses me. This is not a real kiss, but it looks like one. You keep your mouths closed. Its very clinical feeling. So I melt into it. I try to imagine that this elderly gay acting coach is the guy who never quite comes into focus in my dreams.

Now, thats good. Thats what we want to see.

But Alex doesnt kiss me in the script.

As Thor leaves, he says over his shoulder, Oh, thats changed. He kisses you now.

Itd better be a stage kiss.

Not my problem, beautiful. He leaves, and I go to the fridge, crack a Diet Coke mini, and chug it. I have to face facts: I just plain loathe Alex Steen. Loathe, loathe, loathe. Not only does he smell weird, he has skin like some kind of an amphibian. Maybe hes a skink.

I shouldnt be repulsed by him when half the girls in America would like to jump him, but I cant help how I feel.

Youre wanted on set.

Thanks, Michael.

Michael is Teds personal assistant. Hes about twenty-two and starting out on the ground floor. Im always polite and thankful to him. Mom doesnt even know his name.

As I go across the street to the soundstage where our set is, I see Mom huddled over her BlackBerry like its a bird shes captured. Her back is to me. Whatever shes talking about, shes hiding it from the world, which makes me feel kind of sick inside because it cant be good or shed be all over me, whispering good news as she listened to it coming in.

Hey, sugar, Alex calls to me.

Hes been told not to call me this by the networks political correctness maven, but he does it anyway.

I smile as mechanically as I can. Bright fake grin thats a clue he chooses to ignore.

For this scene, were in the living room set. Theres a couch, chairs, and a flat-screen TV thats really just a prop. When you see something on it in the background during the show, thats the special effects department. The whole set is like that. Even the chairs are so light you could throw them. The window is a breakaway (its made out of melted sugar). We used it two episodes ago. In the scene, Mr. Forbes shattered it when his upper bridge flew out of his mouth and hit it. (Our writers apparently think that escaping dental prosthetics are funny.)

Places, please. Is everyone aware of our changes?

Nobody says anything. Were all afraid of Ted. He doesnt exactly carry a horsewhip like directors supposedly did in the past. Instead, he whips with sarcasm.

Ted gives me a long look. I feel like a butterfly about to be pinned. Shes SHINY!

That brings a distant crash, and a couple of seconds later, a huge figure looms past the window and comes around the edge of the set. This is Martin, and he powders my immense forehead yet again. Shine is a no-no, but Im not sure exactly why. I mean, Im sixteen years old and therefore an oil factory, right?

So we take our positions, and Ted says action, and all of a sudden Im not Melody or even Melanie anymore. Im Babsie, and Im full of flutters because Seththats Alexwants to kiss me and were at my house and my dad is suspicious of him. Last week, when I brought Seth home for the first time, Dad asked to see his drivers license. Dad is out back cooking steaks, though, and Mom is in the kitchen, so this is Seths chance.

Ted moves his hands, encouraging me. Im supposed to flutter at Seth, which I do.

Seth paces in front of the fireplace. He looks at me. His eyes look kind of odd, actually.

The way the scene works, Seth kisses me, Dad comes in with the steaks, and Seth panics and jumps out the window.

I sit and turn into Babsie. I look down, sort of smiling. Babsie wants thisshe wants Seth to just hurry up and do it.

So Seth takes a step closer. And another. I say my line: I think youve got something on your cheek. I smile and pat the place beside me. Come on, let me look.

Seth trips over the coffee table, which collapses. (Its balsa.) Frantically, he tries to put it together again. I say, Dads not gonna like that.

He stares at me like Im totally insane, and there it is again, that weird look in his eyesvacant. Hes not Seth at all, hes Alex all the way, and he makes my blood run cold.

Now the kiss. I say, Oh, Seth.

He grabs me and embraces me, and here it comesbut his mouth is not closed like its supposed to be. He is into this; hes kissing me for real.

Im furious. Ted needs to control Alex. Now hes pushing against me and jamming his face into mine, then we go off the couch and I hear Ted somewhere in some other universe yelling, while Alex keeps at me, and I cant get out from under him; hes like some kind of machine made of iron.

I have so many dreams of guys, but not this onethis is the nightmare that no girl ever wants to think about, and its happening to me right in the middle of a television studio filled with people.

Stop him, somebody!

And then there are voices, shouting, Teds voice above them all as he shouts himself crazy. The weight is gone, Alex is off, and Ted and our assistant director, Sam Dine, are holding him. But hes like some kind of animal, and they almost cant keep him under control. His eyes are really scary.