John Guinness - Things Joe Bidens Father Told Him: A Treasury of Bidenisms (and Other Malarkey)
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Joseph R. Biden Sr. never held political office, but that didnt stop him from imparting a lifetimes worth of guidance to his son and our 46th president.
Featuring such classic Bidenisms as I may be Irish, but Im not stupid, Dont compare me to the Almighty, compare me to the alternative, and the ever-famous Thats a bunch of malarkey, THINGS JOE BIDENS FATHER TOLD HIM is a curious catechism of Biden family wisdom.
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Copyright 2021 by John Guinness
Cover design by Jarrod Taylor
Cover copyright 2021 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.
Hachette Book Group supports the right to free expression and the value of copyright. The purpose of copyright is to encourage writers and artists to produce the creative works that enrich our culture.
The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book without permission is a theft of the authors intellectual property. If you would like permission to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), please contact permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the authors rights.
Twelve
Hachette Book Group
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First Edition: March 2021
Twelve is an imprint of Grand Central Publishing. The Twelve name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.
The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.
ISBNs: 978-1-5387-0645-9 (hardcover), 978-1-5387-0646-6 (ebook)
E3-20210129-JV-NF-ORI
Dedicated to Joe Bidens dad,
Joseph Robinette Biden Sr.
Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. was born on November 20, 1942, at St. Marys Hospital in Scranton, Pennsylvania, to Catherine Eugenia Jean Biden and Joseph Robinette Biden Sr.
Joe Biden was elected to the United States Senate seven times, served as vice president to Barack Obama for eight years, and was elected the 46th President of the United States in November 2020. (Thank God.)
Throughout his distinguished political career, President Biden has been guided by the lessons of his life experience and the adages of his parents, grandparents, and ancestors.
Some of these sayings are mettle-tested wisdom passed down for generations by the president and his family.
And some of its pure malarkey.
Enjoy this collection of the finest Bidenisms yet uttered, and may we be blessed with many more in the future.
John Guinness
Blarney Castle, Eire, 2021
The smart guys covering Delaware politics didnt give me a snowmans chance in August.
Cmon, Donald, cmon, man, how many push-ups you want to do?
Folks, I can tell you Ive known eight presidents, three of them intimately.
My mother believed and my father believed that if I wanted to be President of the United States, I could be, I could be vice president!
Isnt it a bitch, this vice president thing?
God love you, man. Youre a one-horse pony.
Joey, I dont expect the government to solve my problems, but I expect them to understand my problem.
Thats no malarkey. You come to the White House.
Ill buy you a beer.
Every time Id walk out of my grandpa Finnegans house up in Scranton hed yell, Joey, keep the faith, he says. And my grandmother would yell, No, Joey. Spread the faith. Spread it!
Joey, dont compare me to the Almighty, compare me to the alternative.
The next Republican that tells me Im not religious,
Im going to shove my rosary down their throat.
Theres no sense dying on a small cross.
As long as youre alive, you have an obligation to strive, and youre not dead until you see the face of God.
Joey, a job is about a lot more than a paycheck. Its about your dignity.
Its about respect.
Dont tell me what you value, show me your budget.
Ill tell you what you value.
Joe, question another mans judgment, but never question his motives.
My father used to say the greatest sin of all is the abuse of power.
I have not bent the law, but I have let imagination take hold in some places where I think its consistent with the spirit of the law Is that the best way of saying that?
Yes I should stop.
Without your word, youre not a man.
Dont look left and right. Look in the mirror.
As long as a persons alive, they have the obligation to strive.
Joey, youre going to be a college man.
Joe, remember, never argue with your wife about anything that is going to happen more than a year from now.
Treat everyone with respect and you will be respected yourself.
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