Carolyn Twede Frank - Trapped in East Germany

Lockwitz, East Germany, 1953

I think we should leave. Karins heart beat faster than shed ever remembered. Mutti , Im willing to go, she petitioned her mother in a tone soft and low but filled with desire. She liked the idea, had even dreamed of it before.

But it scared Karin too. Perhaps part of the fear came from hearing her mother propose escapeMutti had always obeyed the law.

Mutti glanced across the kitchen table at Karin and gave a nod in response. Mutti then returned her attention to Aunt Anna, who had stopped by their small apartment for a visit and to share a bit of bad news. Mutti reached out, gathering Aunt Annas hands into hers. Dear sister, weve weighed your other options. Theyre all grim.

I know, Ida, I know! Aunt Anna said to Mutti. Im afraid Ill be a drain on the republic wherever I go. She winced her eyes shut, wetting her lashes with tears. Im truly fearful of what this new government will do with old people like me.

Im concerned too. Mutti added, Though Im not surprised in the least. I dont doubt for a moment the government is capable of seeing that old people disappear when they can no longer contribute to society.

Karin couldnt bear the idea of Aunt Anna being put down like an old plow horse that could no longer work the fields. But her aunt was old and often fell ill. Karin, too, didnt doubt it could happen, that Aunt Anna would just disappear, as her doctor had warned.

So were going to do it? Karin asked. Apprehension, excitement, and fear bombarded her insides. Were going to escape from East Germany?

Aunt Anna let go of Muttis hands and reached across the table. She gave a gentle pat to Karins arm. Dear, its not that easy to leave. And it is I who is old and in peril, not you. Youre only thirteen.

Im fourteen next month, Karin said with emphasis.

Still, I could never expect you, she glanced at Mutti, or any of your family to come with me.

Mutti looked at Aunt Anna, her eyes heavy with concern. But youre not well enough to go on your own. If you go, were coming with you. She skirted her gaze to the apartments south window, its lace curtains drawn for the evening, their hems folding at angles as they rested atop the singed fabric of the old blue couch. Her expression hardened, and Karin knew what she was thinking: If thats what we decide to do. This is a decision that cannot be taken lightly. It will require a good amount of time on our knees because it wont be easy.

When had anything in Karins life been easy? Difficulties only made her more determined not to let the enemy winwhoever they might be this time. Shed felt this way as long as she could remember. Scary things had happened early in her life. Even if she didnt like them, she was used to them.

Karin picked up a salt shaker from the table, letting her fingers glide over the glass, up and down one of their few keepsakes from better days. Her mind reached back, searching for good memories, searching for possible reasons for staying here. It managed to latch on to some happy moments. She felt a smile form on her lips as she remembered the times Pappa came home on leave from the army; how he would play with her and toss her in the air. The smile drooped into a frown as she remembered the days he had to make his way back to the war.

Her bottom lip then slipped between her teeth as she remembered the war coming to her. Thats when it started, her determination not to let the enemy take the happiness from her life.

She was only five years old when the Allies bombed Berlin. It may as well have been yesterday, not nine years ago, the way the images and explosions still replayed in her mind...

Berlin, March 1944

Buckets of sand drew Karins attention. Someone had left them on the landing of the stairs in their apartment building. She dug her fingers into a bucket and raked them in a circle, making a design in the sand.

Stop that! Thats not to play with. Christine grabbed Karin by the hand and dragged her down the stairs.

Karin wiggled her hand free from her older sisters. Then why is the sand here?

In case of a bomb. Christine motioned for Karin to hurry down the stairs. If you insist on walking me to the corner, quit asking questions Im not supposed to answer.

Everyone knew what bombs were. Karin could hear them explode in the distance almost every night. So Christine shouldnt worry about Mutti being upset with her for telling about the sand. Karin just didnt understand what the sand had to do with bombs. But then, she didnt understand a lot of things. The older she got the more things in Berlin changed. They passed another bucket of sand on the bottom landing. Karin couldnt keep back the question. But how can sand protect us?

I dont know. Christines voice rose. I really dont this time. I just know that Herr Warner is doing everything he can to help make our building safe. Im sure hes got a good reason for the sand. Now come on, and stop asking questions. She grabbed Karin by the wrist and pulled her out the front door.

The breeze caught Karins hair and blew it into her face. She pulled the strands of blonde out of her eyes so she could look around at the familiar trees and buildings that made her love the street she lived on. Her home was four stories tall, five if you counted the tiny attic apartment of Herr Warners, the building supervisor. The ornately carved stone under the eaves and the vibrant red brick made it the prettiest of all the apartment buildings lining both sides of the street as far as she could see.

Good morning. Christine waved to Herr Warner. He stood over a shrub in the yard, struggling with pruning shears, his hands twisted with age.

Good morning, my lovely little ladies. Herr Warner removed his hat, displaying his bald head.

Christine giggled. Karin too.

As they walked away, Karin had another question. Why are all the men old?

Pappas not.

I mean all the men around here? Karin held out her hands and twirled around in a circle, indicating their neighborhood.