LLC Andrews McMeel Publishing - Keep Calm and Drink Up

Jones What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? Sydney Smith There comes a time in every womans life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne. Bette Davis All the great villainies of history, from the murder of Abel to the Treaty of Versailles, have been perpetuated by sober men, and chiefly by teetotalers. H. L. Mencken The light music of whiskey falling into a glassan agreeable interlude. William Shakespeare, Othello Claret is the liquor for boys; port, for men; but he who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy. Samuel Johnson Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin I know the truth is in between the first and fortieth drink. Tori Amos It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, ones present or future thirst, the excellence of the wine, or any other reason. Latin proverb Be happy. Latin proverb Be happy.

Its one way of being wise. Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette The problem with some people is that when they arent drunk, theyre sober. W. B. Yeats In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol: it was the worst twenty minutes of my life. Julia Child Beer is the reason I get out of bed every afternoon. Anonymous You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Dean Martin Im not a heavy drinker; I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop. Nol Coward I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling. Frida Kahlo Ale, man, ales the stuff to drink
For fellows whom it hurts to think. A. E. E.

Housman, A Shropshire Lad The healthiest and most health-giving of drinks. Louis Pasteur on wine Twenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four beers in a case. Coincidence? Stephen Wright Remember: i before e, except in Budweiser. Anonymous Always do sober what you said youd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. John P. John P.

Grier Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more. Proverbs 31:6 Wine is bottled poetry. Robert Louis Stevenson The greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Dave Barry I feel sorry for people who dont drink. Frank Sinatra If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished? Rumi I drink too much. Frank Sinatra If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished? Rumi I drink too much.

The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. Rodney Dangerfield I am drinking the stars! Dom Prignon on his first sip of champagne I should never have switched from scotch to martinis. Humphrey Bogarts last words Rule number one is, dont sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, its all small stuff. Robert Eliot There are only two times I drink beer: when Im alone and when Im with someone else. Alex Levine What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? W. C. C.

Fields