Piers Anthony - Roc and a Hard Place

Kim and Dug rode in the back, discussing old times with Jenny Elf, so Metria was once again in the front.

They were driving first to Kim's home, because she absolutely refused to go to Xanth without her dog. Bubbles.

For a time they rode in silence. He's looking at your knees, Mentia remarked.

So? They're good knees; I shaped them that way.

But I showed them to him first.

Well, you didn't show him your panties, Metria retorted, annoyed.

Not only would that have freaked him out, it would have violated the Adult Conspiracy.

He's a hundred years old! Metria thought.

And in his second childhood.

She had a point. Good thing I had no panties when I forgot my clothing.

Penny for your thoughts, Ichabod said.

Mundane coins aren't worth much in Xanth.

I mean that I am curious about what is going on in your mind that has you focusing so intently, if you care to tell me.

There seemed to be no harm in it, so she told him. I was talking with my worser half, D. Mentia. She said you were looking at my knees.

Well, I was. I have been a connoisseur of distaff limbs since adolescence.

Of what limbs?

The distaff is a long staff for holding wool, flax, or other fibrous material, from which the thread is drawn out when spinning by hand. Since this was almost invariably the work of women, the distaff came to be a generalized symbol of womanhood. Thus I was speaking metaphorically.

Speaking how?

Using a parallel, analogy, correspondence, likeness, affinity, kinship, similarity

Synecdoche?

Or more properly, metonymy, he said crossly. Then he did a double take. How did you come up with that term?

I have no idea. Words are strictly accidental with me.

You are an interesting creature, Ichabod remarked as he drove on toward Xanth. That is to say, all supernatural entities are intriguing in their separate fashions, but you seem remarkable even for a demoness. What accounts for your, er, unusual way with words?

I think a sphinx stepped on part of my demon substance when I was new, and squished it flat. Ever since, some words have been riddles, and my character has been subject to fissioning.

Oh, is that how you change from Metria to Mentia?

And to Woe Betide, she agreed, assuming the form of the sweet, sad child.

Do other demons have multiple personalities?

She switched back to Metria, because the question was too complicated for the tyke to answer. No. Others assume any aspect they wish, but inside they are always the same evil spirits. I'm the only one who takes those personalities seriously. When I'm the child, I mustn't violate the Adult Conspiracy. When I'm Mentia, I'm slightly crazy, except when in the Region of Madness, when I reverse and become slightly sane. When I'm Metria, I have a problem of vocabulary.

Fascinating! In Mundania, multiple personality disorder-MPD-usually stems from some difficult event in childhood, such as sexual abuse.

Well, getting stepped on by a sphinx distracted by a riddle isn't exactly easy to take.

He laughed. Surely so! So you did have a traumatic early experience. As a mature individual you could have handled that stepping on, but as a nascent one you couldn't, so you suffered some subtle psychological damage.

This was a revelation. This is true? I mean, do other people really suffer conditions like mine, because of early whatevers?

"Early traumas. Yes, this does seem to be the case, though psychological opinion is by no means unified. We believe it is the human-and perhaps demon-mind's way of dealing with what cannot otherwise be handled. Or perhaps it is merely the shock of the abuse itself, striking the forming personality like a hammer and cracking it into several fragments. Each fragment then tries to heal itself, forming individual personalities, but never with complete success.

Because something broken is simply not as strong as something whole." He glanced at her face for a moment.

As is perhaps the case with your vocabulary. You obviously possess a full repertoire of words, but your mechanism for recollecting the particular one you need at a given moment is imperfect.

Yes! That's exactly what I have languished!

What you have suffered, he agreed.

Oh, Ichy, I could smack you!

He was taken aback. What?

Osculate, buss, peck, smooch

Kiss?

Whatever! she said, and kissed him firmly on the right ear. Now at last I know why I am as I am. I have MPD.

The truck slewed for a moment and a half before going straight again. I am glad to have been of help, Ichabod said. But if you ever kiss me again, please do it when I'm not driving.

Sorry about that.

Oh, don't be! Just be careful in future. It is dangerous for a man my age to suffer such distraction while behind the wheel.

I'll try, she said contritely,

This alternate personality, Mentia-you actually have dialogues with her?

Shouldn't I?

Usually one personality dominates, or the other; they don't hold direct discourses.

Well, I am usually in charge. But she fissioned off when I did the disgusting thing of getting half souled and falling in love. She's the half without the soul, so she retains the old demonly values. Woe Betide is satisfied to share half my half soul when she's in charge, so she's quarter-souled. But Mentia's curious about just what I get from my soul, in much the way I was curious about the matter before I got it. So she rejoined me, and she takes over when she needs to. Do you want to talk with her?

Not exactly. I am merely curious about what the two of you have to have a dialogue about, since both of you must have had much the same experiences in your existence.

We have. But we place different interpretations on them.

What would one of your dialogues concern?

Love, mainly. She just doesn't understand it.

Few do, who haven't experienced it! Would it be possible to-to listen to such a dialogue?

For sure! Mentia said. What kind of idiocy can make a once sensible demoness suddenly become caring, selfsacrificing, and dedicated to making her indifferent husband deliriously happy several times a day? She calls it love, but I don't see anything compelling her except perversity. Who cares whether the man is happy or miserable? He's just a stupid mortal. He doesn't deserve all that attention.

I don't consider it idiocy, Metria responded. I get real pleasure myself from making him happy. It's a mutual thing; my desires are defined in terms of his desires. Before I fell in love, my life was empty in a way I never realized; now it is full in a way I never anticipated. Love gives me fulfillment

Fulfillment! Why not chain yourself to a dungeon while you're at it? You delight in your misery.

It is only your ignorance that makes it look like misery to you. It is sheer joy to me.

You revel in your humiliation!

If your values weren't inverted, you'd know it's exaltation.

Yours are inverted! I'm true to demonly nature.

I think I get the picture, Ichabod said. A person without a soul simply can't grasp its nature, and a person without love thinks it's pointless.

That's right, Metria said. I was governed mainly by curiosity and mischief, before I got half souled. But my curiosity was in the end greater than my mischief, so I took the plunge and got married.