Piers Anthony - Demons Dont Dream (Xanth Novels)

DEMONSDON'TDREAM-XANTH16

DEMONS DON'T DREAM - XANTH 16

COMPANION

Dug was exasperated. Forget it, Ed! I'm not interested in any silly computer game. They all claim to be so easy to play and so exciting, and every one of them has a squintillion stupid things you have to do just to get started, and then the games are just awkward figures on painted backdrops, and you have the May-I syndrome.

"The whatr

You know. No matter what you do, you get an error message and you have to start over, because you forgot to say 'May I?' or something just as idiotic before you did it. Computers are great at that. They figure you're supposed to know everything before you start, and they're going to make you do it over and over until you finally figure out what they want, by which time you're sick of it all. I don't want to waste my time.

But his friend Edsel had the annoying fault of being too persistent. 'Til bet I can find you a game you'll really like. No May-I syndrome. No dull backdrops. Real adven

2 PIERS ANTHONY

ture. Something you'll get into easy and never want to leave."

And I'll bet you can't There is no such game, because real people don't program them, just computer scientists who lost touch with reality decades ago.

It's a bet, Ed said immediately. What're the stakes?

Dug refused to take it seriously. My girlfriend against your motorcycle.

Done! I always liked your girlfriend anyway. Give me a week to get the game in, and you can kiss her goodbye meanwhile.

Hey, I wasn't really Dug protested. But Edsel was gone. Oh, well. It wasn't as if there was any real risk. Dug wouldn't take his friend's motorcycle anyway.

Now it was time to get into his homework. So he called Pia instead. Hey, I just made a bet with Ed. The stakes are you against his motorcycle.

She laughed. You better hope you lose, because that cycle needs work.

I know. I won't really take it.

But he'll really take me if you lose. He likes me.

Suddenly Dug was nervous. "You mean, ifyou'dT

A bet's a bet, Dug. You have to make good on it. You know that. She hung up.

Shaken, he stared at his unopened books. She had hardly seemed surprised, and not at all annoyed. Had he been set up?

It didn't take a week; Edsel had the game Saturday morning. You crank this into your computer, and call me when you're sick of it. If you don't call in an hour, I'm calling Pia for a date, because I'll know I won.

Aren't you going to stay and help me get the thing loaded? You know it's going to take time just to

Nan. The bet is that you can do it yourself, with no hassle, and you'll really like it. So if I'm right, you won't need me at all, or care that I'm not around. If I'm wrong, you'll be on the phone within an hour to let me know.

DEMONS DON'T DREAM 3

Half hour, more likely, Dug said grimly.

Whatever. So try it and find out. Ed departed.

He seemed so sure of himself! But Dug had never met a computer program he liked, other than the one that blanked the screen after five minutes, and he seriously doubted that he would like this one. But if it was easy-loading, he'd give it a fair try, and still be on time with the phone call.

He looked at the package as he went upstairs to his room. COMPANIONS OF XANTH. This appeared to be a silly fantasy setting, exactly the kind Dug didn't much tike. How could Ed think he'd go for this, even if it wasn't too hard to get going? Then he looked again. There was a picture of a young woman of truly comely face and figure, in an outfit resembling the sinuous contours of a serpent. Wouldn't it be something to meet a creature like that! Maybe she was the inducement; they figured that some poor sap like him would buy the game in the hope that she was in it. If she was, it would be only as an animated flat picture. A ripoff in spirit if not in technicality.

He settled himself by his computer table and turned the system on. While it wanned up and went through its ritual initial checks and balances, he opened the package. There were no instructions, just a disk. There wasn't even the usual warning note forbidding anyone to copy it. Just the words INSERT DISKTYPE A:\XANTH-TOUCH ENTER. He had to admit that was simple.

He inserted the disk, typed the mysterious word, and touched ENTER. There was a momentary swirl on the

-: screen. Then a little man appeared, almost a cartoon figure. The figure looked at Dug and spoke. His words ap

. peared in type in a speech balloon above his head. "Hi! I'm Grundy Golem. I'm from the Land of Xanth, and I speak your language. I'm your temporary Companion. If you don't like me you can get rid of me in just a minute. But first listen a bit, okay? Because I'm here to take your hand and lead you through the preliminaries without con

; fusion. Any questions you have, you just ask me. You do

4 PIERS ANTHONY

that by touching the Q key, or clicking the right side on your mouse. So go aheadask."

Why not? Dug touched Q.

There was a ding. A huge human finger appeared and nudged Gnmdy on the shoulder so hard that he stumbled to the side. Hey, not so hard! Dug had to smile. Okay, so you have a question. You have one of those primitive Mundane keyboards, right? So you have two ways to do it You can type the question so I can see it, or you can touch ENTER and it will bring up me list of the ten most common questions at this stage. Then you can use your arrow keys to highlight the question you want, and touch ENTER again, or just shortcut it by typing the number of the question you want I'll wait while you decide. If you want me to resume without waiting, touch ESCAPE. Grundy took a step back, twiddling his tiny thumbs.

Dug found himself intrigued despite his cynicism. He touched ENTER.

Grundy reached down and caught hold of a bit of string at the bottom of the screen. He pulled it up, and a scroll of print unrolled. There were numbered questions.

1. HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS CRAZY GAME?

2. HOW CAN I SHORTCUT TO THE ACTION?

3. WHO IS THAT CREATURE ON THE COVER?

4. CAN I GET MY MONEY BACK IF I QUIT NOW?

5. HOW DO I GET A BETTER COMPANION?

6. HOW DO I SAVE MY PLACE SO I CAN TAKE A PEE BREAK AND PICK UP WHERE I LEFT OFF?

7. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THIS GAME IS SO GREAT?

8. CAN A FRIEND PLAY TOO?

9. WHAT'S THE PRIZE FOR WINNING?

DEMONS DON'T DREAM 5

O. HOW MANY PRINTED QUESTIONS ARE THERE, AND CAN I CALL THEM UP ANYTIME?

Dug smiled. It seemed they had had some player input He touched 0, which he took to be 10; he realized mat it couldn't be listed as 10 because when a player touched the 1 it would take him to 1 without giving him a chance to complete the number. That was one of the things computers did: pretending not to know what the player really wanted.

The question highlighted. Grundy came* to life. There are a hundred questions hi this edition of the Companions of Xanth Game, and mere may be more in future editions as we get more player feedback. You can call up the list anytime by touching HELP and paging down. For two-digit numbers you can hold down the first number while you touch the second, and both digits will register. But it's probably easier just to ask me.

It probably was. But Dug decided to play with the list a bit more. The questions were still on the scroll. So he touched 1.

Grundy animated again. To quit this game, touch ALT ESCAPE and turn off the set. But I hope you don't quit yet; you haven't given us a fair chance. We hardly know you.

They hardly knew him? As if they were real and he was a mocked-up player! That seemed arrogant. But also intriguing. Dug touched 2. To shortcut directly to the action, touch SHIFT ESCAPE. But I strongly advise against this, because mere's more you have to do, like checking in, and you'll be stuck with me as your Companion. Once you know the ropes, you can skip this whole scene, but please don't do it this time,