Don Zolidis - Dystopia! The Hungry Maze Game of Divergent Death. A short comedy

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CUDDLES ZOMBIES GAMEMASTER 2 SHOWPEOPLE JUDGES *Additional contestants may be added as necessary. All contestants may be any gender, ethnicity, or race. For simplicity, I have used male pronouns throughout. If you have a female actor playing the part, please change all pronouns and feel free to change specific names (Bruce becomes Sally). **These may all be played by contestants who are killed early on. Dystopia. Dystopia.

Place The entrance to the mazegrounds. Dystopia! The Hungry Maze Game of Divergent Death by Don Zolidis (A ll of the contestants except PAISLEY are dressed in nearly identical, grayish, prison-like uniforms with only splashes of their color to differentiate them. These could be armbands, headbands, hats, socks, scarves, pretty much anything. PAISLEY is dressed in an entire paisley outfit. He or she should stick out like a sore thumb.) (L ights up. The edge of the Maze.) GUARD.

All rightmove along! Move along! Come on. GUARD 2. Thats right. Come on. Id hate to have to break out the cattle prods. We dont have all day here.

Some of us have jobs. (T he group of CONTESTANTS emerges on stage, bewildered.) WHITE. Where are we? BLACK. Whats going on? BLUE. Have we been abducted? PURPLE. Why dont I remember anything? (G eneral ad libs from the entire group.) GUARD 2.

Quiet please! Quiet please! (T he CONTESTANTS continue talking.) GUARD 2. People! People quiet! Ill wait. Ill wait. Im going to stand up here and wait until youre quiet. Im still waiting. People.

We cant really start until youre quiet. People. Ill wait. Ill wait. (T hey keep talking. GUARD blows a whistle.) GUARD.

SILENCE! (E veryone is silent immediately.) GUARD 2. Man that whistle thing really works. GUARD. Oh yeah. ( M AGENTA raises his hand. GUARD calls on MAGENTA .) GUARD.

Question? MAGENTA. Uh yeahum I have a couple of small ones: Where am I, who am I, and what is going on? ( B LUE raises a hand.) BLUE. When is lunch? GREEN. Do we have snacks? I think I have a glucose thing where I require snacks. ( G UARD blows whistle again.) GUARD. GUARD 2. GUARD 2.

I thought we were taking questions. GUARD. No. We are guards. We dont answer any questions. GUARD 2.

Im sorry I just like to be helpful. Listenpeople Umlong story shortwere currently living in a dystopian future, your memories have been erased, and from now on youre only going to be known by the color bands on your arms. That should get you started. I believe we have some brochures were going to hand out. ( G UARD 2 looks to GUARD .) GUARD. What? GUARD 2.

Did you bring the brochures? GUARD. No I did not bring the brochures. GUARD 2. I gave you a memo about it. GUARD. Get this through your head: You do not get to give me memos.

I am a guard. I have a weapon and I will randomly shoot someone soon. GUARD 2. Id like to share a feeling statement right now. GUARD. GUARD 2. GUARD 2.

Your rejection of my feeling statements prompts another feeling statement on my part. GUARD. What is your feeling statement? GUARD 2. When you ignore my memos, it makes me feel sad. GUARD. ( GUARD shouts at the CONTESTANTS :) Listen up maggots! Were not explaining anything! I am going to randomly shoot someone to make my point clear! ( G UARD looks for his gun. ( GUARD shouts at the CONTESTANTS :) Listen up maggots! Were not explaining anything! I am going to randomly shoot someone to make my point clear! ( G UARD looks for his gun.

He turns to GUARD 2 .) Hey can I borrow your gun for a second? GUARD 2. Im going to need a memo about that. GUARD. (To the CONTESTANTS :) Youre lucky this time worms! But next time (He points to BROWN .) You woulda been toast. BROWN. What did I do? GUARD.

It would be a random killing. BROWN. Im just sitting here, man. Im not even complaining. Im just chill. GUARD.

I was going to do it as an example to the others. BROWN. Not cool, man. (T he GAMEMASTER, an outlandishly dressed man or woman from the future, signals to his guards.) GAMEMASTER. Welcome contestants slash prisoners! You may call meTHE GAMEMASTER! ( G UARD and GUARD 2 make special effectsperhaps they use flashlights or smoke grenades. Perhaps they make explosion sounds.

WHITE raises hand.) GAMEMASTER. I am not takingQUESTIONS! ( G UARD and GUARD 2 make the exact same special effect.) GAMEMASTER. Sit sit sit. Welcome to the dystopian future. WHITE. Isnt it the dystopian present? GAMEMASTER.

Yes, if you want to get technical about itthis is the dystopian present. You have been selected as attractive teenagers to enterTHE MAZE! (N o special effects this time.) Youre supposed to do the thing. GUARD. Oh. Sorry. Can you do it again? GAMEMASTER.

You will enterTHE MAZE! ( G UARD and GUARD 2 make the special effect again.) GAMEMASTER. There can be only one winner. You will be tested in a series of deadly challenges for NO APPARENT REASON. Most of you will die. Entertain us, and you may survive. Also, some of you may discover certain skills that will allow you to join a particular faction of our society FOR NO APPARENT REASON.