Bergman Gregory - Geektionary: From Anime to Zettabyte, an A to Z Guide to All Things Geek: More Than 1,000 Words to Understand Goobs, Gamers, Orkdorks, and Technofreaks

From ANIME to ZETTABYTE,
An A to Z Guide to All Things Geek

GEEKTIONARY

MORE THAN 1,000 WORDS TO UNDERSTAND GOOBS,
GAMERS, ORKDORKS, AND TECHNOFREAKS

GREGORY BERGMAN AND JOSH LAMBERT

Copyright 2011 by F+W Media, Inc.
All rights reserved.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any
form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are
made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

Published by
Adams Media, a division of F+W Media, Inc.
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com

ISBN 10: 1-4405-1114-4
ISBN 13: 978-1-4405-1114-1
eISBN 10: 1-4405-1188-8
eISBN 13: 978-1-4405-1188-2

Printed in the United States of America.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Bergman, Gregory
Geektionary / Gregory Bergman and Josh Lambert.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-1-4405-1114-1
1. American wit and humor Dictionaries. 2. Geeks (Computer enthusiasts)
Humor. 3. Science fiction fans Humor. I. Lambert, Joshua N. II. Title.
PN6165.B46 2010
818.607 dc22
2010038956

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their product are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

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CONTENTS

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 1

GEEKOLOGY

What is a geek? The word geek has a long colorful history. It originally referred to a crazy person. More recently, it denoted sideshow performers who would bite off the heads off live chickens an act few self-respecting geeks today partake in.

It was not until the 1980s that geek became slang for a person who was an expert in scientific and technological pursuits but lacked basic social skills. Isolated and shunned by his or her peers, this geek was thought to find solace in science fiction, fantasy, and comic books perhaps to an unhealthy degree.

And then it happened. The dot.com boom changed the nature of the economy in the 1990s. Leading this new computer revolution was not the savvy ad man or financial shark of times past. Instead, it was the geek. As Alpha-geeks such as Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, and Steve Jobs became household names, the term geek began to take on a more positive connotation. After all, the high school geek of the 1980s now drove a Ferrari and dated supermodels, while the star quarterback who had tormented him was now long unemployed and drove an old pick-up truck to his new school and last hope: ITT Tech.

Is a geek the same as a nerd? No. While a geek may be obsessed with certain esoteric topics, he or she can still have an active social life though often only with other geeks. The ste-reotypical nerd, however, is more awkward, less confident, and more socially inept than the geek. In other words, a nerd is a geek who cant get a date. Even a room full of geeks would be able to spot the nerd.

We have written this book with geeks and geek wannabes in mind. If you want to fit in among the geeks, it would behoove you to study these terms and concepts. As we enter the era of the geek, knowing how to navigate geekdom may be your best chance of survival.

May the geek be with you!

(noun)
Named after a standard HTTP error code, 404 has come to mean: 1. To misplace something. 2. Someone who is clueless. 3. An Internet error or missing page.

Mymomskeys are always 404.

alpha geek(noun)
The geekiest one of the bunch, appearing to be superior.

Bill Gates is the ultimate ALPHA GEEK.

analog(adjective)
When a person is boring or one-note.

He was, like, cute and all, but he was just so, like, ANALOG. Ittotally turned me off.

animatronic(adjective)
Describes mechanical people or animals like those seen at Chuck E. Cheese and Disneyland. Used in films such as Jurassic Park to depict dinosaurs.

My last girlfriend was ANIMATRONIC.

ansatsuken(noun)
A Japanese assassination martial art that has the goal of killing someone.

I warn you, before you try to take my lunch money, I am highlytrained in the art of ANSATSUKEN.

anthropomorphism(noun)
To give an animal or a nonliving thing human characteristics. Anthro-pomorphism can be seen in Disney movies where the rabbits sing and dance or on South Park with a talking piece of poo, Mr. Hankey.

To say,The sea was angry that day, myfriends,would be toANTHROPOMORPHIZE the ocean.

Betamax(noun)
When the better technology loses in the market to an inferior technology. Named for the Betamax, which was introduced by Sony in 1975 and replaced two years later by JVCs VHS.

The 3DO was superior to the Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo butwas so expensive it went out like BETAMAX.

GEEK FACT

The last Sony Betamax was produced in 2002. Interestingly, it was found hiding out in a remote cave in the jungles of Iwo Jima.

booth bunny(noun)
A hot girl at a comic convention paid to hang out at a booth and help sell products using her looks.

That BOOTH BUNNY totally wanted me, so I bought $100 worth ofPokemon cards just so she knows I care.

GEEK FACT

If you are going to pick up a booth bunny at a comic book convention, be clever and use comic-book-related come-on lines:

Examples:

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive.

Pow! Crash! Boom! thats what I do.

Ever heard of the Fantastic Four? Well, want to meet the fantastic 8?

canon(noun)
Official elements in a fictional universe. The Star Wars movies are canon. But Star Wars fan fiction is not canon and, therefore, not an element in the universe.

The appearance of Star Wars characters in Soulcalibur IV is notCANON.

Cheech Wizard(proper noun)
A character developed by the artist Vaughn Bode that first appeared in the late 1960s. This and other psychedelic Bode creations are seen in graffiti and street art. Vaughn Bodes art and Cheech Wizard inspired the style of Ralph Bakshis animated film, Wizards.

Forget Chong, the CHEECH WIZARD is the bomb!

Club 33(proper noun)
A members-only club in Disneyland. The waiting list for membership is sixteen years.

CLUB 33 and the Ink and Paint Club from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? are two clubs that I want to check out. Minnie Mouse is hot.

comic sans(noun)
One of the most hated fonts in existence, so much so that there is a ban comic sans movement.

Typing an angry note to someone is made even more offensive ifdone in COMIC SANS.

continuity(noun)
The consistency of characters, plotlines, or details within a story.

Geeks love pointing out CONTINUITY errors.

cool hunter(noun)
An occupation involving the observation of cultural trends and prediction for the future of what is aesthetically cool.

Hey, COOL HUNTER, when is the 1970s platform shoe going to