Williams - Negotiating With a Bully Take Charge and Turn the Tables On People Trying to Push You Around

This edition first published in 2018 by Career Press, an imprint of
Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC
With offices at:
65 Parker Street, Suite 7
Newburyport, MA 01950
www.redwheelweiser.com
www.careerpress.com

Copyright 2018 by Greg Williams

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced
or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical,
including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage
and retrieval system, without permission in writing from Red Wheel/
Weiser, LLC. Reviewers may quote brief passages.

ISBN: 978-1-63265-135-8

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
available upon request.

Cover design by Jeff Piasky
Typeset in Minion Pro and Baskerville

Printed in Canada
MAR

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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This book is dedicated to my family, who has provided years of support, understanding, and real-life examples of how someone like me can always bounce back from adversity when surrounded by the insulation from harm that one receives from the love of one's family.

Marie L. PrestonMother Prestonis a woman who accepted me into her life when I was a teenager and she's been like a mother to me since then. Throughout the years, she helped to shape my life as she guided me along the path of righteousness and insights. I've always felt grateful that God graced me with such a gift. Thus, I wanted to acknowledge God's gift of Mother Preston and say thank you for giving me a gift that has been given to me for so many years.

This book is also dedicated to David and Dina Dadian. David and Dina have been friends in the worst of times and the best of times; David has been and continues to be my brother. When it comes to friendship, David and Dina are two people who I know without a doubt I can call on, no matter the need! I know because it's been tested!

I received insights, assistance, and support to write this book from the following people. To each of you, I truly appreciate the value you added to this project.

In addition, I hope those individuals who read this book will be able to use and derive benefits from its content to deal more effectively with bullies. To the readers I'd like to say, Remember, you're always negotiating.

Pat Iyer (my developmental editor): Pat is a very gifted author in her own right. As a developmental editor she helped make my words and negotiation expertise capture more of the essence that occurs when negotiating with a bully. Thus, without Pat on this project the reader would have ended up with a lot of how-to's about negotiation strategies and techniques without the stories and examples to drive the content deeper into the reader's mind.

Michael Snell (my literary agent): If ever you want someone on your team who will fight for you, it's Michael Snell; he's smart and tactical about when to go to battle. Michael is the kind of person you want on your side when it comes to negotiating with others to make sure you see and consider broader perspectives. He's also the person who looks at the picture when you are in the frame and cannot see the whole picture yourself.

Damon Willis (a friend with extraordinary sales training abilities): I had the good fortune of working with Damon when I was associated with the Brendon Burchard organization. I believe God creates environments from which we can be enhanced. Being in that environment al-lowed me to meet Damon and partake of his extremely knowledgeable insights when it comes to teaching others how to sell better. The one thing that makes his insights about sales even more captivating is that he is someone who genuinely believes in helping others. He's not someone who seeks to manipulate others, rather he seeks to embolden others with the knowledge he imparts.

Yolanda Royster (businesswoman and thought stimulator): I had numerous conversations with Yolanda about the content of this book. At times, she challenged my assertions, which led me to consider new thoughts and ideas. Her perspectives about people in general, and women in particular, allowed me to shift my paradigm at times. Every time I did so, this book became a little better.

Kristin Williams-Washington, PsyD (contributing psychologist): I turned to Dr. Washington to gain more insight into the mental aspects from which bullies engage with others. Throughout our interactions, I found her comprehension on this subject matter to be well thought out, well presented, and of great value. In seeking her professional perspective, she allowed me to better understand a bully's behavior as to what motivates him to take the actions he engages in.

Career Press and Red Wheel/Weiser (my publisher): It is always nice to work with smart people who you can count on to present your work in the best light. Such are the people at Red Wheel/Weiser (formerly Career Press). In working with the people at Career Press on my last book Body Language Secrets to Win More Negotiations I discovered the value of working with extremely knowledgeable people in the book publishing industry. For all that you have done and will continue to do to get my work out to a worldwide audience, I very humbly thank you.

S uccess in life and business dealings is not an accident. It is achieved through planning, execution, and evaluation. Effective communication requires an appropriate amount of skills, sensitivity, and understanding of the needs of others.

Bullies show up in our lives in the form of clients, colleagues, and coworkers. As a culture, we are increasingly aware of the impact of bullies. Bullying behavior complicates effective communication.

Everyone has felt bullied at some point in their lives. The bully could be a family member, childhood acquaintance, colleague, employer, or client. You know you have been bullied when you felt pressured, demeaned, and angered by the bully's behavior. You walked away from a negotiation feeling like you lost ground. You gave into demands and agreed to something that was not in your best interests. And you resented the way you felt.

Negotiating With a Bully will teach you how to skillfully deal with bullies in different forms and environments. You'll explore the mindset of a bully and understand the motivations and behaviors so that you can gain an advantage over the bully.

The destructive effects of bullies complicate communication and damage self-esteem, advancement potential, and peace of mind. The people who can spot a bully and create a dialogue that achieves objectives are going to be the most successful.

Negotiating With a Bully addresses a pervasive behavior in our homes, schools, and workplaces. This book discusses the causes, manifestations, and consequences of bullying behavior. It reveals the ways bullies position themselves in negotiations and arms the reader with the insights needed to combat bullying. In these pages, you will discover how to recognize a bully and respond from a position of power.

What can you expect to gain from this book? Negotiating With a Bully will help you prepare to confront and thwart a bully. It will teach you how to gain insight into the thought process of the bully as well as use negotiation strategies to address the bully's behavior. The way you recognize the body language used by bullies allows you to gain control of a situation, so you don't walk away with that sick feeling that you've been railroaded.