Yvonne Brooks - Bully Prevention Tips for Teens: 18 Powerful Ways to Protect Yourself Through High School

Bully
Prevention Tips for Teens

18 Powerful Ways to Protect
Yourself through High School

Yvonne Brooks and
Stephanie R. Bien, LMFT, LPCC

BULLY PREVENTION TIPS FOR TEENS

18 POWERFUL WAYS TO PROTECT YOURSELF THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL

Copyright 2016 Yvonne Brooks and Stephanie R. Bien, LMFT, LPCC.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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ISBN: 978-1-5320-0769-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-0768-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016916669

iUniverse rev. date: 10/26/2016

Table of Contents

*A percentage of the proceeds from book sales will be donated to Chai Lifeline, helping seriously ill children and their families to have a happy and normal childhood.

Yvonnes Dedication

This is book is dedicated to an amazing young lady I met years ago when she was in the eighth grade. This young lady inspired me greatly to write and publish materials to empower teenagers toward reaching their highest potential. Its an honor to see Nayiri all grown up and entering medical school this year. I am so proud of you! The value youve added to my life and the Brooks & Brooks Foundation is priceless! Love you.

Stephanies Dedication

I dedicate this book to my own teen daughters Rebecca and Jessica and to all the teens around the world and in future generations. I wholeheartedly impart these 18 lessons to bring peace and joy to the individual and have faith that this will help to make the world a better place.

Acknowledgements

We would like to thank the 500 students who anonymously took the survey, Ms. Kolker, El Camino High School, Kirby Welsh, Calabasas High School for letting us come in and speak to their students. We also would like to thank Jeff Gerson, Assistant Principal at a LAUSD school and our editors Lori Nelson and Jane Purden.

Foreword

Why do they insult me and call me names all the time?

Why do they talk behind my back?

Why do they spread rumors abou t me?

Why do they ignore me when I wal k by?

Why are they so mean?

What did I do to deserve this?

These are questions many of us ask ourselves. Whether were high school students, employees in a hostile work environment, or in an abusive personal relationship, bullying is a challenge that many face.

While this book is geared towards teenagers, there is wisdom in it for us all! In this One Of a Kind Book , two knowledgeable and inspirational women that I have been honored to work with, provide tips, inspiration, and practical activities to address these questions and the challenge of bullying.

When I was asked to write the foreword for this Ground Breaking Book , I was not only deeply humbled, but hit with flashbacks from many bullying related situations I endured throughout my life:

.kids at school taunting me because of my height, weight, or religious background

.a grey haired, cane wielding, ex-military father standing beside me on the back lawn teaching me hand to hand combat techniques to fight off the neighborhood bullies.

.getting sent to the principals office for beating up the bully

.people in work settings spreading false rumors about myself and others

As a teacher, assistant principal, and principal for a large urban school district for the last 25 years, I have observed and intervened in countless bullying situations. Many of these experiences contributed to my selection as the 2011-2012 Assistant Principal of the Year for the Los Angeles Chapter of the California Association of School Administrators. Guiding my own three children through years of bullying issues has given me added perspective and appreciation of the value of this book.

I wish I had this book back then to give guidance to my students, teachers, and my own children. The many tips, problem-solution approach, practice activities and inspirational quotes would have helped many children and makes it a Must-Have book for counselors, teachers, teenagers, and parents! The activities enhance and complement many school districts Bullying Prevention, Conflict Resolution, and Social Emotional Learning (SEL) programs.

Merging a wide range and long history of experiences, the authors crafted their years of wisdom and knowledge into this anti-bully-bible. Yvonne Brooks has worked for over 25 years developing programs in the US and abroad to empower parents and teens to manage many of lifes challenges. She currently heads the Brooks and Brooks Foundation in the Los Angeles Area, a non-profit organization that serves, educates, and empowers families toward living with purpose.

For over 20 years, Stephanie Bien has been supporting children, teenagers, and families as a licensed Marriage, Family and Child therapist and Parent Effectiveness Trainer. She has led numerous workshops for both parents and children. Stephanie has been actively involved with many community programs supporting youth and teens.

Jeff Ge rson

Educator and Parent

Introduction

Bullying is not a new societal issue. We can go back in time and see that people have been hurting one another for centuries. There are stories in the Bible of the struggles between Esau and Jacob, Joseph and his brothers, Sodom and Gomorrah. We have a history of battles, wars and the Holocaust. All very tumultuous times, but the word bullying wasnt used throughout history.

Not until we got to the time of insight and expression of feelings did we take matters more seriously. In 1999 the Columbine shooting shed light on to a serious problem. Along with broadcasting and Internet, more situations came to our attention. We now are able to see that bullying was an enormous societal problem. In the years to follow, we see teens reacting either by shooting at the school, committing suicide or homicide, or other less severe measures, but experiencing pain nonetheless.

We decided to write this book to offer a deeper personal understanding and personal tools to empower, heal and grow for both the bully and the victim. The bottom line is that its about the struggle with self-esteem, self-doubt and negative thoughts that perpetuate the cycle of bullying.

As we set out to write this book, we surveyed 500 teens from 8 th to 12 th grade. 49% surveyed said they have been bullied. We knew this number was low. What we saw was the need for a definition. Many reported that they had not been bullied when in fact according to our definition, they had been. After defining it, the number increased to 98% of teens have either lost sleep, missed days of school or spoke to an authority figure (school counselor, parent, principal or vice principal) about an issue that they didnt know how to handle. So lets spend a few minutes defining what bullying is.

I interviewed my colleague and friend Deputy Alicia Kohno from the Sheriffs station, Juvenile Prevention Program, otherwise known as the J-team. She stated, Bullying is imposing on someone else with threat or potential harm. Bullying comes in many forms. The statistics we came up with included physical bullying which was 32.53%, emotional bullying at 71.98%, verbal bullying 84.27% and cyber bullying at 51.81%.