Mary P. Donahue - Surviving Bullies and Mean Teens

CHAPTER ONE
BULLIES OR BLUSTER

CHAPTER TWO
JUST ADD PRESSURE

CHAPTER THREE
CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OFCLARITY: BULLYING MYTHS

CHAPTER FOUR
ONLINE AND OUT OF LINE

CHAPTER FIVE
WHAT DO TURTLES HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?

T here's a curious saying you might have heard before, and it goes kinda like this: I want to be unique, just like everyone else.

You are made up of your own special ingredients and your teen years are where those things gel into a specialized, awesome version of you. It's also where fitting in becomes most important. You want to express yourself individually, and you want to be valued and accepted into a group. That can be super complicated. You're developing friendships that could last for a day or a lifetime. It's exciting! But there are stumbling blocks, too. One of the most difficult situations is when you run into bullies or when the mean teens get you in their sights. Sometimes bullying happens in public, where people can see. More and more often, however, it happens under the radarthrough nasty notes, gossip, rumors, or on social media. Either way, it hurts. A lot.

This book is written to help you navigate the difficult situation that is bullying. It will help you figure out what bullying really is, as opposed to just having a couple of bad days. You'll learn about teen groups who have additional pressures. Those groups include teens caught up in unsafe romantic relationships, kids with intellectual or physical diffabilities (which are not dis-abilities, just different ones), and those who identify with sexual or gender diversity.

In certain places in this book, you'll run into a few words you might not be sure of. We're here to help! One word is "non-binary" This refers to people who don't feel like their birth gender. So, a kid might have been designated a boy at birth but not feel quite like a boy. They may not feel quite like a girl, either. 'Non-binary' means that gender, for them, isn't an either/or thing. Another word is 'cisgender.' This is used to refer to people who do identify according to the gender they were assigned when they were born. Using these terms is not a political statementand we definitely don't want to tell you what to think or feel. It's simply a means of helping you to recognize added vocabulary. The point to keep in mind is that teens who have diff-abilities or are experiencing sexual or gender challenges may have to deal with more serious bullying problems and worse outcomes. And we think you should know that.

We're also going explore some myths about bullying. You'll learn how to decide for yourself what you think. And, of course, since it wouldn't be a book about bullying without talking about the internet, we'll talk cyberbullyingwhich can really play games with your head! But don't worry, we're going to give you a skill to help your brain catch up to your feelings. Then you'll get good advice and instruction on how to form a safe space with people who can help you stop the bullying. Read this guide slowly, so you can really think about your situation and how to change it for the better. Chances are, it's more complicated but more solvable than it looks. And you have more strength than you think. Just go slow and steady, and you'll be able to move forward.

You got this!

Y ou're a teenager! Which can mean life is super confusing for lots of reasons. The biggest is probably that you're still figuring out who you aresuch as what matters to you and who you want to be. Some kids really value being independent, for example, while others enjoy being on a team. Some want to work quietly and others like attention or awards. At school, you're learning how to do you as much as you're learning from your books. You're also probably getting lots of messages about your worth from the outside worldsuch as TV shows, your parents, or the internet. Sure, adults were your main buddies when you were younger, but now you're more focused on your friends and fitting in. Who you hang out with starts to change who you are!

First, let's figure out the difference between regular teen conflict (like having bad day) and actual bullying. Kids argue, who doesn't? Disagreements can be useful. They can teach you about fairness and negotiation. Sometimes your fight can be a misunderstanding that is easily cleared up, and sometimes someone is being stubborn and insisting on being right. But you and your friend (or friends) want to work out the problem or maybe even agree to disagree and move on. It's can be unpleasant, but it's workable. When it's been more than a few days, however, and your belly starts to hurt, it's time to take a closer look.