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Ken Kousen - Help Your Boss Help You

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Ken Kousen Help Your Boss Help You
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Develop more productive habits in dealing with your manager. As a professional in the business world, you care about doing your job the right way. The quality of your work matters to you, both as a professional and as a person. The company you work for cares about making money and your boss is evaluated on that basis. Sometimes those goals overlap, but the different priorities mean conflict is inevitable. Take concrete steps to build a relationship with your manager that helps both sides succeed.

Guide your manager to treat you as a vital member of the team who should be kept as happy and productive as possible.

When your manager insists on a course of action you dont like, most employees feel they have only two options: you can swallow your objections, or you can leave. Neither option gets you what you want, which is for your manager to consider your interests when making decisions. Challenging your boss directly is risky, but if you understand what really matters to your manager, you can build a balanced relationship that works for both sides.

Provide timely good enough answers that satisfy the immediate need of the boss to move forward. Use a productive solution to the Iterated Prisoners Dilemma to structure your interactions with management, going along when necessary and pushing back where appropriate, without threatening the loyalty relationship. Send the two most important messages to your boss: I got this and I got your back, to prove your value to the boss and the organization. Analyze your managers communication preferences so you can express your arguments in a way most likely to be heard and understood. Avoid key traps, like thinking of the boss as your friend or violating the chain of command unnecessarily.

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Help Your Boss Help You Convert Conflict Into Opportunities by Ken Kousen - photo 1
Help Your Boss Help You
Convert Conflict Into Opportunities
by Ken Kousen
Version: P1.0 (July 2021)

Copyright 2021 The Pragmatic Programmers, LLC. This book is licensed to the individual who purchased it. We don't copy-protect it because that would limit your ability to use it for your own purposes. Please don't break this trustyou can use this across all of your devices but please do not share this copy with other members of your team, with friends, or via file sharing services. Thanks.

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Table of Contents
Copyright 2021, The Pragmatic Bookshelf.
Early praise for Help Your Boss Help You

I highly recommend Help Your Boss Help You . This book is like having a seasoned mentor to validate your experience when youre having conflict with a manager, help you see the big picture from different perspectives, and show you the ropes on how to respond so that you build trust with your manager and ultimately, motivate your manager to support your goals and development.

Seth Axelrod, PhD
Associate Professor of Psychiatry, Director of DBT Services, Yale School of Medicine, Yale New Haven Psychiatric Hospital

Help Your Boss Help You outlines one of the greatest methodologies and strategies for managing upward. Kens experience working with managers at all levels gives an unparalleled perspective on how to succeed in the workplace, and his hard-learned lessons are something we can all benefit from. Help Your Boss Help You is required reading for career-minded people.

Daniel Woods
Distinguished Engineer, Target

This is the first book Ive read that effectively explains the long-term relationship between managers and their employees from the subordinates perspective. Having served in both roles, I believe the term constructive loyalty is a mantra that should form the basis of all relationships, professional and personal.

Tom Fulton
President, Mentor Communications, Inc.

This might be the most important (non) technical book youll read. Frameworks come and go, but the wisdom contained in these pages will pay dividends for the rest of your career!

Michael Carducci
Lead Architect, IHS Markit

I have a bookshelf full of tech books covering everything from agile to zsh but only a few books on the people side of development work. This book will deservedly take its place alongside Understanding the Professional Programmer and The Politics of Projects . Congratulations on a great book.

James Harmon
Independent Consultant

I really wish Id had this book right at the beginning of my career. Theres solid, actionable advice I know I would have benefited from. The examples and advice have also helped me see there are times when the employee/manager relationship cannot be fixed, and that in those times its right to look for something that fits you better.

Trisha Gee
Java Champion and Lead Java Advocate, JetBrains

I wish I had this book to read when I was starting out in the corporate world. Its lessons are quick to read, easy to understand, and most of all, right on the money. It really is a clear book with good organization that should be passed out to entry-level hires in any technical-related field.

James A. Lutz, PhD
T.W. Daniel Associate Professor of Forestry, Utah State University

Help Your Boss Help You was a very useful read. Its ideal for people just starting out in their careers or at the mid-point looking to advance. Ken explains the things that unfortunately many of us have had to learn the hard way after dealing with difficult managers. Highly recommend!

Annyce Davis
Online Video Instructor, Davis LLC

I wish this book had been around 25 years ago! Many parts of it really resonated with me and with the experiences I have had. I think it will be extremely helpful for anyone who is looking for ways to better manage or improve the relationship with their manager. The prose is engaging and easy to read, and I enjoyed the popular culture and Star Trek references.

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