Francine Parham - Please Sit Over There: How to Manage Power, Overcome Exclusion, and Succeed as a Black Woman at Work

Please Sit Over There

Copyright 2022 by Francine Parham

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First Edition
Paperback print edition ISBN 978-1-5230-0152-1
PDF e-book ISBN 978-1-5230-0153-8
IDPF e-book ISBN 978-1-5230-0154-5
Digital audio ISBN 978-1-5230-0155-2

2022-1

Book production: Seventeenth Street Studios
Cover design: Nita Ybarra
Illustration by Jeni Paltiel / Lellobird

To my Mother, Juanita, and my Father, Oscar Sr., who taught and told me all that they knew.

I m not telling you what I heard; Im telling you what I know. This was one of my fathers favorite sayings. He said this to me when I was a child and later when I was an adult. It has served me as a creed throughout my adult life and career, and it is the place from which I speak as I write these words. It is what I know that I want to pass on to the Black women building their careers and lives today.

In two decades as a Black woman in the institution of corporate America, I have learned a lot, I have witnessed a lot, and I have experienced a lot. I have made many decisions and was a part of many more, and eventually I reached the highest levels of leadership. I have been at the table.

My road wasnt easy, nor was my path defined. I dont take for granted the many amazing and strong-willed Black women who made a path for me. Even though many of these women were not from the corporate sector, they stood up for me. And when they stood up for what they believed in, they afforded me the privilege of being able to sit down in those rooms at those leadership tables.

Their advocacy left me with a responsibility to bring more Black women to positions of leadership and authority in the workplace. It is my lifes work to bring more of us to the table, not just as tokens or symbols but in roles with genuine authority and influence. We have a long way to go in this journey despite the fact that we are neither new nor inexperienced within these many institutions.

I am not satisfied with what should accurately be called a lack of progress. We are still not at the tables and in the rooms where we need to be, especially in the institutions of corporate America. But Black women in the workplace are at an inflection point. I have heard many advocates say that they want to help us but they arent quite sure how to get us there. Out of this dissatisfaction, I offer a way forward. An important lesson I have learned in corporate America is to never complain without a recommendation and ultimately, a solution.

My solution is to talk about the concept of power. Power is not bad; it is the people behind it and their actions that have the potential to make it corrupt or evil in nature. My goal is to help black women understand power and learn how to use it to their own benefit, accelerating their career trajectory and professional advancement. It is unfortunate when the concept of power carries negative connotations. In the context I am considering in this book, power leveraged for your career advancement is a good thing. I believe that learning this skill is the key to bringing more Black women to that proverbial table. And you do have powereveryone does, even in the workplace. Its how you use it and what you use it for that matters.

One thing Id like to note: you wont ever hear me talk about Black women becoming empowered. We already have that covered. We have been empowered for a very long time. Self-efficacy is not something that I have a problem with, nor have I seen my sisters struggle with self-efficacy. I was raised to know that I am powerful. I have my mother, my role model, and my father to thank for that.

I have come to understand what power means, who has it, and the importance of using it to help me succeed in the workplace. My intention is to share what I know in the hope that it will help you create or enhance your own career by understanding what your organization values, what you value, and how you can get to a position of power.

I also see embracing power as a part of your economic advancement and the economic advancement of all Black women. The equation is simple: the higher you go in an organization, the more money you should make (or should at least be asking for). This is what will allow you to have the life you choose for yourself or others. These are the stakes you are playing for.

Im not the first to talk about career advancement, and I hope not to be the last voice to talk about this specifically with regard to Black women, but I am a Black professional woman who has discovered what it takes to rise to power at work. My journey has been long and rich. I have been given this privilege. I do not take it for granted, and I feel that I have a responsibility to use my voice. We are playing by a set of rules that we never agreed to and that we were never trained for. I want to share with Black women how they too can succeed.

Heres what I know to be true: once we have a workplace that works for Black women, we can have a workplace that works for all. That has not happened yet. I cant change what has happened in the past, but I can impact what is happening today and in the future. I am choosing to share all that I know and to use the power of my experience and my voice to help you.

I encourage you to share and discuss this book not only with people in your network but also within your organization and with your leader. Create a dialogue to let the organization know what your expectations are and how they can help you. This book is not for you alone. With this book I intend to help you create change in your organization for yourself and for othersto join me in carrying it forward. Ill for sure continue to do my part.