Stacy Johnson - Money Made Simple: How to Flawlessly Control Your Finances in Minutes a Year

The entire essence of America is the hope
to first make moneythen make money
with moneythen make lots of money
with lots of money.

PAUL ERDMAN

A s a member of the media, I'm continually annoyed by words and phrases journalists often use. For example, consider the oft-used phrase rushed to a local hospital, as in the critically injured victims were rushed to a local hospital. Why is a reporter telling me that critically injured people were rushed to the hospital? Do ambulance drivers normally stop for coffee when transporting critically injured people? Do they sometimes go to nonlocal hospitals?

What about the word expert?

Turn on the news tonight, and odds are good you'll see some story with an on-camera quote from someone labeled on screen as an expert on this, that, or the other. For example, maybe you'll see a terrorism expert. But what makes this person a terrorism expert? Did he write a book on the subject? Was he a terrorist for twenty years? Is he one now? Until we know more, the title alone doesn't make it so, whether it's on TV or not.

All this is leading up to why I get to write personal finance books for Ballantine. The reason, of course, is because I'm a money expert.

But since this isn't the evening news, I hereby present the credentials that allow me to make that claim.

I became a CPA in 1981. I've also earned licenses for real estate, life insurance, stocks, commodities, options principal, and securities supervisor. I also have a motorcycle license, a fishing license, and I have a marriage license around here somewhere.

In terms of experience, I spent three years as an auditor (I slept through most of them) followed by eleven years as a stockbroker. (To this day, I still feel the compelling need to call strangers at dinnertime and try to sell them something.) For about the last twelve years, I've been self-employed as a TV news guy. I host an ongoing consumer/personal finance news series called Money Talks, currently airing on about ninety stations nationwide. So far, I've written and produced close to two thousand money-related news stories.

I don't know if these credentials qualify me as an expert, but hopefully they're enough to give you some level of confidence in what I'm about to tell you, which is how to manage your financial life in little chunks of timelike during the commercial breaks of your favorite showeven with zero financial education or experience.

It's understandable that you'd want to dispatch your financial chores with the greatest possible speed, since dealing with dough is right up there with art films and C-SPAN on the adrenaline scale. But speed isn't necessarily the most important thing you're about to learn.

If you're like most people, you already spend very little time managing your money. I read a survey a couple of years ago that said the average American worker spends less than ten minutes a year thinking about how to invest his 401(k) assets. And be honest: How much time do you really spend every year thinking about your insurance policies, your overall investment mix, or your estate plan? Most of us are already fast at financial chores because we ignore them entirely. We're like deer in the headlights. We don't know what we should be doing, so we freeze, stand there, and hope like hell we're not about to get run over.

When I used to practice pitching with my dad in the backyard, he'd always say, You've got to get good before you get fast. Great advice, Pop. Understanding what it is you're doing and why you're doing it is integral to doing it quickly. In fact, understanding what we're doing is what ultimately allows us to achieve speed. So what we're going to do together is first learn to throw strikes. Then we'll figure out how to throw them at ninety miles an hour.

This book will deliver what it promises: total money management skills in the fastest possible time, with the least possible effort, and with no advance knowledge required. Nonetheless, from this point forward, please don't believe catchy phrases that promise immediate gratification, because they're probably just eyewash designed to sell something. Statements like Wealth Without Risk! or Lose 30 Pounds in 30 Days! or Create a New Credit History! are nearly always more sizzle than steak. In fact, here's my first piece of advice: Don't ever believe anything that ends with an exclamation point! And the more explanation points you see, the less you should believe it!!!