Amanda Jenner - Potty Training Magic

Amanda Jenner, a mum of three, is the toilet training expert on ITVs This Morning, the owner of the award winning My Carry Potty (the worlds only 100% leak-proof potty for training at home and on the go), and has decades of experience working with parents to overcome toilet training challenges through the Potty Training Academy: www.pottytrainingacademy.co.uk

While writing this book, so many special memories of all the lovely families and little ones I have met over the years came back to me. I feel lucky to have worked with you all to help overcome some tricky milestones, and I am so grateful to you for inviting me into your homes.

I would like to say a big thank you to my editor Sam Jackson at Penguin Random House for believing in me and publishing this book. Thanks also to Leah Feltham for holding my hand throughout. And thank you to Julia Kellaway the queen of words for your editing. Not forgetting Leisa Maloney, my agent, for all your support and motivation. Thank you also to Fiona for all your help, patience and enthusiasm you have been a star.

I would like to say a big thank you to all my special friends who have been there for me. Thank you for the support you have given me for so many years throughout my journey. You know who you are!

Thank you to my mother-in-law Marie Hughes without you stepping in and helping, it just wouldnt have been possible to write this book. You are one in a million.

I would like to dedicate this book to my three beautiful children George, Hollie and Olivia for all the things you have taught me about being a mum. I have loved our journey together so far and feel so blessed to be your mum. I am so proud of all three of you.

A special thank you to my best friend my husband Darren. You have believed in me every step of the way and have been by my side encouraging everything I do. Thank you for helping make my life complete and giving me the opportunity to be your wife I am so lucky.

To my angels Nuna and Nuno I told you I could do it; I just wish you were here to see, but I know you are watching.

Writing this book has long been a huge desire of mine. When I was seven years old my mother left us due to a marriage breakdown, leaving myself, my nine-year-old brother and my five-year-old sister to live with my father. This was a very tough time for us as children but it meant that I turned very quickly from a little girl into a mother figure to my siblings and to my father. By the age of eight I had learnt to cook, clean and do the washing, as I just wanted to make everything as normal as possible for my siblings. This difficult experience taught me that, no matter how many milestones we have to cross, the most important thing to remember is that anything is achievable if you approach it in the correct way listening and trying and turning negatives into positives. My ambition as I grew up was to try to help other families wherever I could, and I feel honoured that I have achieved, and continue to achieve, this lifelong goal.

Over the last 15 years I have been privileged to work with people from all walks of life from politicians, supermodels, actors and actresses, to stay-at-home parents and single mums and dads and the one thing I have learnt is that we all encounter the same problems when we become parents. Sometimes we let our emotions take over when it comes to our little ones, but it is so important on this journey to remain mentally and morally strong, and never be afraid to seek or ask for help or advice.

Personally, I could not wait to become a parent and I became a mother for the first time at the young age of 21. I now have three children George, Hollie and Olivia and, like all parents out there, have experienced the different challenges that being a parent brings. As parents we always want to do the best for our children and sometimes we can be harsh on ourselves if we feel this cannot be achieved. After all, children do not come with instructions! We are always learning, no matter what age our children are.

Potty training is no exception and can be one of the most difficult milestones that both parents and toddlers will face. Sometimes the pressure we feel to get our children out of nappies leads us to all too easily feel that we have failed. Rather than choosing the time wisely and preparing for the task, we rush into potty training purely to satisfy other peoples or societys expectations.

Under a huge amount of pressure from friends and family, receiving comments such as I cannot believe he is still in nappies!, I started potty training my son George before I felt he was really ready. Even though he was only two years old and wasnt showing any signs of readiness, and my daughter Hollie was just two weeks old at the time, I did not want people to think I was a bad parent, and so I naively potty trained George with great difficulty. This decision turned my household into a very stressful one not only for me, but also for my son. The icing on the cake came when I was out and about with George. He, like most toddlers, would only use his own familiar potty and, of course, when he needed to go he needed to go! When George finally got to the stage where he would ask to use his own potty in the high street, I could not believe the disgust and rude comments we received from some onlookers when they saw him use it. This was a total shock to me but, worst of all, it upset George, making him feel that he had done something wrong. This made our potty training situation a whole lot worse. Not only did it have an effect on George but, as a parent, I felt I had let him down and I vowed never again to let total strangers influence where or when my child would use their potty. I learnt to listen to my children rather than other people and I adopted a very different approach with my two daughters, waiting for them to show clear signs of readiness. This made the whole experience of potty training a much less stressful time for me and, most importantly, for my two girls.

I could not believe that potty training was surrounded by so much controversy and how many different opinions were shared among competitive friends. And this continues to be an issue today. In fact, even more so, with the presence of social media and Internet forums.

Q: My little one is two-and-a-half years old and she was two months premature. She has started to speak simple words, but is showing no signs of being ready for potty training. However, I am getting constant remarks and pressure from family members, asking why she is still in nappies when her cousin the same age is potty trained! What shall I do?

A: You know your daughter better than anyone. It is very easy for people to judge from the outside, but every parent will know if their child is ready for potty training. You have to take into consideration that your daughter was born two months early this can cause a delay in some of her developmental milestones. This does not mean there is anything wrong with her, just that she is not yet ready due to her being premature. As a parent you will always get others comparing their child to yours or offering you good advice, but remember that you will know when the time is right and your child starts showing signs of readiness (see ). Be assured that you, as her parent, will only do what is best for your daughter. And whether you feel the time is right or not this is your decision and nobody elses. Do not feel pressured and push potty training as this will only impact on your little ones eventual success.