Biddulph Shaaron - The complete secrets of happy children: including worldwide bestsellers The secret of happy children and More secrets of happy children
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Steve Biddulph started as a family psychologist twenty years ago. Realising he didnt have a clue, he travelled and learned from some of the best practitioners in Australia, the US, New Zealand and Singapore during the early days of family therapy. Throughout this time he worked with hundreds of families in both normal and extreme situations, and saw the need for more positive and helpful information for parents.
The worldwide success of The Secret of Happy Children has led him to work mostly in parent education. Steve gives talks about discipline without hitting or shaming, raising boys to be safe men and other topics in countries as diverse as Germany, England and the Peoples Republic of China, where his books have been translated. He has become specialised in helping people recover from childhood trauma, abuse and neglect and he also trains therapists in these skills.
Steve and his partner, Shaaron, and their children live on the NSW North Coast, where they write books and try their best to live out their ideals!
HarperCollins Publishers
The Secret of Happy Children first published in Australia in 1984
This edition published in 2013 as a Bay Books publication
Revised editions published in 1988, 1993, 1995, 1998
More Secrets of Happy Children first published in Australia in 1994 as a Bay Books publication
Revised editions published in 1995, 1998
Cornstalk combined edition published in 2002
This edition published in 2007 by HarperCollins Publishers Australia Pty Ltd
ABN 36 009 913 517
www.harpercollins.com.au
The Secret of Happy Children
text copyright Steve and Shaaron Biddulph 1984, 1998
cartoons copyright Allan Stomann 1998
illustrations Paul Stanish 1998
More Secrets of Happy Children
text copyright Steve and Shaaron Buddulph 1994, 1998
illustrations copyright Paul Stanish 1998
The right of Steve and Shaaron Biddulph to be identified as the authors of this work has been asserted by them under the Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000 .
This work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968 , no part may be reproduced, copied, scanned, stored in a retrieval system, recorded, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
HarperCollins Publishers
Level 13, 201 Elizabeth Street Sydney NSW 2001 Australia
31 View Road, Glenfield, Auckland 10, New Zealand
7785 Fulham Palace Road, London, W6 8JB, United Kingdom
2 Bloor Street East, 20th floor, Toronto, Ontario M4W 1A8, Canada
10 East 53rd Street, New York NY 10022, USA
National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication data:
Biddulph, Steve.
The complete secrets of happy children.
ISBN 13: 978 0 7322 8129 8 (pbk.).
ISBN 13: 978 1 4607 0021 1 (epub).
1. Child rearing. 2. Parenting. 3. Parent and child.
4. Child psychology. 5. Child rearing Humor. I. Biddulph, Steve.
Secrets of happy children. II Biddulph, Steve. More secrets of happy children.
III. Biddulph, Shaaron. IV. Title.
649.1
Cover photograph of Raph and Lucy Giarruputo courtesy of Alison Bennett
Original cover design by HarperCollins Design Studio
The Secret of Happy Children : cartoons by Allan Stomann; illustrations by Paul Stanish
More Secrets of Happy Children : cartoons and illustrations by Paul Stanish
Experts can be a hazard to your familys health.
Luckily, this is a non-expert book!
Please take it for what it is friendly suggestions,
and support for your own good sense.
In your heart,
YOU know whats right
for you and your children.
Cartoons by Allan Stomann
Thanks to all in the Transactional Analysis community from the early seventies onwards, especially Colin McKenzie, Pat McKenzie, the Maslens, the Mellors, and Jean Grigor. These people both saved my life, and sent me on this wonderful road. To my parents for a good beginning. To my incomparable partner Shaaron Biddulph. To Robin Freeman, Phillipa Sandall, Rex Finch and present and past editors at HarperCollins. And to all parents everywhere, for struggling on and still remembering how to laugh.
When I first wrote The Secret of Happy Children , I never dreamed that it would take off in quite the way it has. Fourteen years after first firing up the typewriter, it has been read by over a million people, in fourteen languages.
When I wrote The Secret I was just a beginning Family Therapist, with a heartfelt wish to make it easier for fathers and mothers to get along well with their kids, and for kids to live without the put-downs and fears that our generation often felt.
The first edition announced on the opening page that I had no children, only wombats (and that these were quite badly behaved!). I mentioned this because it was true, and because I wanted my readers to take everything I said with a pinch of salt to trust their own judgement. I still believe this experts are a hazard to your family! If you listen to your own heart it will always tell you what is the best way to raise your children. Books, experts, friends, help you only if they take you closer to your own good sense.
I do have kids of my own now, and the wombats have all grown up! But my feelings havent changed. I still get a melting feeling in my chest when I see a young mother with a new baby, or a young father playing with his kids. Im more impressed by young parents and their efforts than by any sports hero, rock star, or business tycoon!
Anyhow, Im proud to be launching this new reprint. Many hundreds of parents have told me that they found the ideas in this book powerful and helpful. Much that they have taught me has been incorporated to make the book even better.
Hope you like it.
Why are so many adults unhappy?
Think of all the people you know who have problems who lack confidence, cannot make a decision, cant relax, or cant make friends with other people. Think of those who are aggressive, putting people down and ignoring the needs of those around them. Add to the above all those just holding on until the next drink or the next tranquilliser.
In one of the richest, most peaceful countries in the world, unhappiness is epidemic. One adult in every five will at some time need psychiatric care, one marriage in three ends in divorce, one adult in four needs medication to relax. Its a great life!
Unemployment and difficult economic times dont help, but unhappiness is present in all income groups rich, poor and in-between. Its a problem, in fact, that no amount of money seems to solve.
On the plus side, we are often struck by some peoples constant cheerfulness and optimism. Why is it that, in some individuals, the human spirit blossoms in spite of apparent hardship?
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