Caputo - How to success!: a writers guide to fame & fortune

Youre simply the best, better than all the rest.
Tina Turner

Text copyright 2017 by Corinne Caputo. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

ISBN 978-1-4521-4676-8 (epub, mobi)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication data available.

ISBN 978-1-4521-4333-0 (pb)

Designed by Ben Kither and Michael Morris

Stock photos used under license from Shutterstock.com.

Emoji art supplied by EmojiOne

Chronicle Books LLC
680 Second Street
San Francisco, California 94107
www.chroniclebooks.com

Dearest Aspiring Writer,

When Chronicle Books asked me to write a self-help book for writers, I thought, okay, but can I handle how famous the book will make me? Chronicle assured me that awards and fame were in no way guaranteed and that I should instead write the book because I am the most talented and most humble writer in the world, which Chronicle assured me again were my words, not theirs.

Being asked to write such a book made perfect sense; people were asking me questions all the time like, Corinne, how do I write normal? or Corinne, dont you have somewhere to be? or Corinne, are you the one who spilled coffee all over the shower?

It was in that shower, between sips of coffee, that I realized coffee is better sipped than slurped. I also realized I can offer the advice, encouragement, and insight that todays writers seek. I immediately exited the shower, tossed the coffee aside, and embarked on the most intense journey of my life.

After months of writing in noisy coffee shops and coffee-soaked bathrooms, it is with great pleasure that I present the most genuine, thorough, and useful writing manual ever written. Of course, the advice and activities in this book will turn you into an excellent writer, but more importantly, this book will teach you how to handle the success youll achieve as a direct result of buying this book and displaying it prominently.

Just look at me. Ive been assured wealth beyond riches, fame beyond measure.

Corinne, again, no such assurances were made.

#WRITINGFACTS These are true, but lesser known facts about writing. Youll see them throughout this book. Each one is truer than the last.

FIGURE 1: Success

It would be impossible to list all the reasons one chooses to become a writer, but Ive done so anyway, in the form of a pie chart. Yum!

There is much debate about the history of writing. Some say it was invented in the early 1990s when e-mail became popular. Others say that is definitely not true.

According to real historians, the earliest writing systems used symbols to represent objects and actions. These ancient emojis were used to document historic battles, mark poisonous plants, and write grocery lists. Whatever the systems true origin may be, we can all agree that nothing before it was worth writing down.

If writing did in fact exist before e-mail, its theorized to have evolved from speech as another method to express thoughts and feelings. Over time, writing systems developed from a series of symbols to the more complex lettered systems of today, complete with uppercase and lowercase varieties, grammatical structures, spelling rules, and hearts to dot is.

Since its earliest days, writing has taken on a life of its own, launching the careers of Shakespeare, David Foster Wallace, Danielle Steel, J. D. Salinger, Maya Angelou, the people who wrote the Bible, and me.

Todays youth are bringing our writing system full circle by substituting words for symbols in their electronic communications.

See if you can decipher these three sentences using popular symbols of today.