Joe Oliver - The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Self-Esteem

If you are struggling in the grip of your self-story, but still cant work out who you really are, this book is for you. Its thorough, based on solid concepts and methods, and yet totally readable. It is packed with clear, helpful diagrams and exercises to guide you toward adopting a workable, transformative, self-compassionate stance with regard to who you are and what you experience.

Yvonne Barnes-Holmes , PhD , associate professor in behavior analysis, and senior researcher at Ghent University; and author of over 150 articles on behavioral science

The authors of this fabulous workbook have a story to tell, and if you listen to it and learn from it, it will change your life. In a remarkably practical, humble, and genuine way, the authors tell us a story about living with the joys and sorrows of wanting to belong, of wanting to fit in, of wanting to care about and be cared for by others. This workbook teaches you how to stand tall in the presence of these vital human pursuits, to accept your anxieties and self-doubts, and to act according to your personal values. Above all, this workbook will teach you that it is pointless to search for self-esteem and self-acceptance, because you already have it. It was given to you as a birthright. This book will teach you how to reclaim it! Highly recommended!

Kirk Strosahl, PhD , codeveloper of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and coauthor of The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Depression

The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Self-Esteem by Oliver and Bennett is a beautifully crafted, interactive book with touching personal stories of the authors own self-esteem, leading on through innovative exercises that use cutting-edge theory from psychological sciences. They help the reader to understand self-esteem and how we can run into trouble with our self-esteem in an accessible way. The workbook is ideal to help anyone strengthen their most important relationship, that is, the relationship with our self.

Louise McHugh, PhD , professor in the school of psychology at University College Dublin; peer-reviewed ACT trainer; author of over one hundred academic papers in the area of ACT and relational frame theory (RFT); and coauthor of The Self and Perspective Taking and A Contextual Behavioral Guide to the Self

There is a world of wisdom packed into this accessible, elegant workbook. The authors pursue psychologys Holy Grailself-esteemand deliver it to the reader, step by step. Or rather, they draw upon empirical research, their considerable clinical experience, and even their own lives to show why efforts to obtain and hold on to a thing called self-esteem dont workoffering instead a way to build a sense of self that is accepting, compassionate, and ultimately freeing. This is the sort of text that should be required reading for us all.

Darrah Westrup, PhD , author of Advanced Acceptance and Commitment Therapy ; and coauthor of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for the Treatment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Trauma-Related Problems , The Mindful Couple , and Learning ACT for Group Treatment

Joe Oliver and Richard Bennett are well known for publications and training that have both a solid foundation in contextual behavioral science (CBS), and are easy for readers to absorb. This book will give readers the opportunity to loosen from some of their old self-talk, and create bigger lives.

Louise Hayes, PhD , clinical psychologist; and coauthor of The Thriving Adolescent ; Your Life, Your Way ; and Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life for Teens

The solution to low self-esteem sits hidden in a place youd never think to look. This book shows you where that place is, and how to use your greater freedom from self-criticism to take your life in a new direction. Gentle, witty, and wisethe book feels like a conversation with a helpful friend. If self-esteem is a struggle for you, do yourself a favor and read this book.

Steven C. Hayes, PhD , Nevada Foundation Professor in the department of psychology at the University of Nevada, Reno; and originator and codeveloper of ACT

If youre struggling with self-esteem, then look no further than this groundbreaking book, which will help you to appreciate yourself from a whole new perspective. In this clear and practical guide based on the latest behavioral science, Joe Oliver and Richard Bennett have skilfully laid out all the steps needed for you to build a more nurturing relationship with yourself, and a life of greater meaning and purpose. I highly recommend this book.

Mike Sinclair, DPsych , clinical director of City Psychology Group, and coauthor of Mindfulness for Busy People , The Little ACT Workbook , and The Little Depression Workbook

Ready for a new perspective on self-esteem? Joe and Rich provide a perfect balance of confrontation, compassion, practical worksheets, audio exercises, and engaging examples to wake us up to the fact that human beings are amazingand that includes YOU. This succinct, well-documented book is perhaps the best book in the mindfulness and acceptance workbook series; a definite must-read for humans seeking freedom and authenticity.

Patti Robinson, PhD , international consultant and trainer, and coauthor of The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Depression

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2020 by Joe Oliver and Richard Bennett

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

A Song for Damian Marquez the Tailor, by Ancient Champion, used for the Mindfulness of Sound activity in chapter 7, is copyright Ancient Champion (Paul Lamont). Used with permission.

Cover design by Amy Shoup

Acquired by Tesilya Hanauer

Edited by Rona Bernstein

Illustrations by Louise Gardner

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Oliver, Joseph E., author. | Bennett, Richard (Psychologist), author.

Title: The mindfulness and acceptance workbook for self-esteem / Joe Oliver and Richard Bennett.

Description: Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications, [2020] | Includes

bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2020011247 (print) | LCCN 2020011248 (ebook) | ISBN 9781684033041 (trade paperback) | ISBN 9781684033058 (pdf) | ISBN 9781684033065 (epub)

Subjects: LCSH: Self-esteem. | Acceptance and commitment therapy. | Mindfulness (Psychology)

Classification: LCC BF697.5.S46 O47 2020 (print) | LCC BF697.5.S46 (ebook) | DDC 158.1--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020011247

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020011248

Contents

Foreword

W hen Joe Oliver and Richard Bennett invited me to write this foreword, my immediate reaction was joy, gratitude, and an instant Yes, Id be delighted. Unfortunately, this reaction didnt last. When I actually sat down to write this foreword, my mind kicked in with a whole load of unhelpful self-talk: You dont know how to write a foreword. Everything you write will be boring and youll just look stupid. And so on, and so on. If Id let those thoughts dictate my actionswell, for sure this foreword would never have been written. The good news is, within the pages of this book, Joe and Rich describe numerous tools and techniques for rapidly taking the power out of harsh, judgmental self-talk. So, I quickly applied a couple of them, that critical inner voice instantly lost its impact, and I was able to get on with writing.