Megan McDonald - Stink and the Incredible Super-Galactic Jawbreaker (Book #2)

Gigantic!

Super-colossal!

Inter-galactic!

Stink stood smack in the middle of the Whistle Stop Candy Shop. Shelves all around him were chock-full of sourballs, penny candy (that cost ten cents), licorice shoelaces, gummy money, candy pebbles, spooky-eye gumballs, wax fangs, buttered-popcorn jellybeans, bottle caps, chocolate Scottie dogs, and mood lollipops.

Then he saw it. Right smack in the middle of it all.

Hello! Welcome to Planet Jawbreaker!

Super-galactic jawbreakers! Stink reached to pick one up. It was an earth, a globe, a world unto itself. A speckled, sparkling planet. Bigger than a marble. Bigger than a Super Ball. Bigger than a golf ball. Worlds largest jawbreaker! Or at least the biggest Stink had ever seen in his whole entire seven years on the planet.

Stinks sister, Judy, ran up to him. Look, Stink, they have bubblegum baloney and lollipops that play music and real-and-true rain-forest gum and best of all... gummy brains! I cant decide WHAT youre getting me!

Your brains are gummy if you think Im buying you stuff, Stink told his big sister. Sometimes big sisters were so double-triple-quadruple bossy.

Cmon, Stink. Dont be a sourball. You have a big fat five-dollar gift certificate.

I earned it! Dad took me to the college, and I was in a study for short people. I had to answer really hard questions.

Stink, I cant help it if Im not short! Please, pretty please, with gummy brains on top? Just one candy cell phone? Purple candy corn? A diamond-ring lollipop? I know, I know! If you wont buy me candy, how about this How-to-Make-Your-Own-Gum kit?

No, no, no, no, and nope.

Cmon, Stinker. Just one teeny-weeny piece of candy? How much can one piece of penny candy cost?

Ten cents. Some penny candy costs twenty-five cents.

Huh? How can something that costs a penny cost a quarter?

Beats me, said Stink.

Stinks sister, Judy, was in a mood. She slumped down on the car-seat couch in the corner of the candy store. She pretended to watch the Oompa-Loompas dancing on the TV screen in front of her. Stink popped from one shelf to the next, filling his basket with suckers and sourballs, gumballs and gummy worms.

Stink, Im telling Dad youre acting like a kid in a candy store, said Judy.

But I AM a kid in a candy store, said Stink. Hey! You just said an idiom.

I am NOT an idiot! said Judy.

Id-i-om. Its what you call a funny saying. Mrs. D. taught us a bunch of them. Like if youre in a bad mood, I could say you got up on the wrong side of the bed.

But Im not in a bad mood, because youre going to get me some candy, right?

Wrong.

Is stinks on ice an idiom? How about rotten to the core? said moody Judy.

Now youre acting like sour grapes, said Stink. Get it? Sour grapes is another idiom.

Stop saying idiom! said Judy.

Okay! Okay! If I get you candy, what will you give me? asked Stink. Lets strike a deal. Get it?

Judy rolled her eyes. How about one Grouchy pencil and two president baseball cards for this box of rain-forest gum?

Three president baseball cards, said Stink. And one of them has to be James Madison.

Deal, said Judy. Goody goody gumdrops! Thanks, Stink. Now, Richie Rich, let me see what youre getting yourself with all that money.

I, said Stink, am getting the Worlds Biggest Jawbreaker. He held it up for Judy to see. It changes colors and flavors as you go.

Rare! It looks like an earth. Or a giant emu egg or something.

Or something, said Stink.

Stink, I dont think you want to eat that. Says here on the box that it contains wax.

Does not.

Does too! Judy pointed to the words on the box.

So? Ive eaten wax before.

Have not.

Have too.

Stink, wax is like candles, said Judy. Wax is like earwax. Are you going to eat EARwax, Stink?

Give it, said Stink, taking it back. Stop saying earwax! Im still eating it. It has fire in the middle.

Like a fireball?

Like the earths core! said Stink.

RARE! said Judy. Do you think itll really break your jaw?

It better! said Stink.

Stink took one lick. Then another. Then another. The giant jawbreaker was way too big to fit into his mouth.

Slurp. He licked that jawbreaker all the way home.

Sloop. He licked it all the way up to his room.

Slop. He licked it while he fed Toady one-handed. He licked it while he played with his president baseball cards (including James Madison, thanks to Judy). He licked it while he did his homework one-handed. He licked it the whole time he talked to Grandma Lou on the phone, telling her all about the Pajama Day they were going to have in Mrs. D.s class.

He even licked it while he set the table for dinner. One-handed, of course.

Pretty soon his lips were green and his tongue was blue and his hands were as sticky as gum on a sneaker bottom.

Hey, Judy asked at dinner. Why is there a big fat sticky blue fingerprint on my plate?

Oops, said Stink, licking off his fingers. Finger-lickin good!

Stinks eating a jawbreaker for dinner! said Judy, pointing.

Stink, put that jawbreaker down and eat some real food, said Dad. Here. Have some macaroni.

This is real food, said Stink. It contains vitamins A and C and calcium. No lie.

And dextrose, sucrose, fructose, and other stuff that makes you comatose, said Judy.

Its NOT going to make me comb my toes, said Stink.

And dont forget wax, said Judy.

Macaroni, said Mom. You heard Dad. And green beans.

But it didnt break my jaw yet, said Stink. It didnt even stretch my mouth one bit.