Megan McDonald - Stink the Incredible Shrinking Kid (#1)

Shrimp-o! Runtsville! Shorty Pants! Stink was short. Short, shorter, shortest. Short as an inchworm. Short as a... stinkbug! Stink was the shortest one in the Moody family (except for Mouse, the cat). The shortest second-grader in Class 2D.

Probably the shortest human being in the whole world, including Alaska and Hawaii. Stink was one whole head shorter than his sister, Judy Moody. Every morning he made Judy measure him. And every morning it was the same. Three feet, eight inches tall. Shrimpsville. He had not grown one inch.

Not one centimeter. Not one hair. He was always one head shorter than Judy. I need another head, he told his mom and dad. What for? asked Dad. You need a new brain, said Judy. You need a new brain, said Judy.

I have to get taller, said Stink. How can I get taller? Eat your peas, said Dad. Drink your milk, said Mom. Eat more seafood! said Judy. Seafood? Yes shrimp! Judy said. Hardee-har-har, said Stink.

His sister thought she was so funny. Whats so bad about being short? asked Dad. I have to drink at the baby fountain, said Stink. And stand in the front row for class pictures. And I always have to be a mouse in school plays. Being short isnt all bad, said Dad. Being short isnt all bad, said Dad.

You still get those free coloring books you like at the doctors. And the Spider-Man pajamas you love still fit you, said Mom. And you still get to use your baby step stool just to brush your teeth, said Judy. Stink rolled his eyes. Youll grow, said Dad. Growing takes time, said Mom.

Lie down on the floor, Judy told him. What for? If I pull your arms, and Mom and Dad each take a leg, we could stretch you out like a rubber band. Then youd be taller. Stink did not want to be a rubber band. So he ate all his peas at dinner. He did not hide even one in his napkin.

He drank all his milk, and did not pour even one drop into Judys glass when she wasnt looking. Measure me again, Stink said to Judy. One more time. Before bed. Stink, I just measured you this morning. That was before I ate all those peas and drank all that milk, said Stink.

Stink put on his shoes. He stood next to the Shrimp-O-Meter. He stood up straight. He stood up tall. Judy got out her Elizabeth Blackwell Women of Science ruler. Hey, no shoes! she said.

Stink took off his shoes. He stood on tiptoe. No tippy-toes either. Judy measured Stink top to bottom. She measured him foot to head. She measured him head to foot.

Something was not right. Well? asked Stink. Bad news, said Judy. What? asked Stink. Youre shorter than you were this morning. One quarter inch shorter! Stink made a face.

Not possible. Stink. The Women of Science ruler does not lie. Shorter? How can I be shorter? Simple, said Judy. You shrunk! Youll grow, said Dad. Youll grow, said Mom.

But youll never, ever, ever catch up to me! said Judy.

When Stink woke up the next morning, his bed felt as big as a country. The ceiling was up there with the sky. And it was a long way down to the floor. When he went to brush his teeth, even the sink seemed too tall. Yipe! I really am shrinking, said Stink, checking himself out in the mirror.

Were his arms a little shorter? Was his head a little smaller? Stink got dressed. He put on up-and-down-striped pants and an up-and-down-striped shirt. Whats with the stripes? asked Judy. Makes me look taller, said Stink. If you say so, said Judy. What? If you really want to look taller, heres what you do.

Judy handed him a fancy shampoo-type bottle. Put this hair gel on your hair and leave it in for ten minutes. Then youll be able to comb your hair so it sticks straight up. Sticking-up hair will make you look taller. Stink put the goopy goop in his hair. He left it in his hair while he made his bed.

He left it in his hair while he packed up his backpack. He left it in his hair all through breakfast. We could play baseball, and you could be shortstop, Judy told him. So funny I forgot to laugh, said Stink. Judy pointed to Stinks hair. Hey, I think its working! she said.

Really? Do you think people will notice? Theyll notice, said Judy. Stink ran upstairs to look in the mirror. HEY! My HAIR! Its ORANGE! Dont worry, said Judy. Itll wash out... in about a week. I look like a carrot! said Stink.

Carrots are tall, said Judy, and she laughed all the way to the bus stop. Stinks friend Elizabeth sat next to him in class. They were the shortest kids in Class 2D, so they sat up front. Hi, Elizabeth, said Stink. Im not Elizabeth anymore, she told Stink. Okay. Okay.

I have a new name, too. The Incredible Shrinking Stink. But, Stink, you look taller today, said Elizabeth. Its just the hair, said Stink. Im still short. Not to an elf.

To an elf, youd be a giant. To an elf, you would be the Elf King. Thanks, Sophie of the Elves, said Stink. The bell rang, and Mrs. Dempster passed out spelling words. Three of the new words were shrink, shrank, shrunk. At lunch, the dessert was strawberry shortcake.

And in Reading, Mrs. Dempster read everybody a book called The Shrinking of Treehorn. The book was all about a boy who plays games and reads cereal boxes and gets shorter and shorter. He keeps shrinking and shrinking. Then, just when he becomes a normal size again, he turns green! Any comments? Mrs. Dempster asked when the story was over. Stink raised his hand.

Is that a true story? Mrs. D. laughed. Im afraid not, she said. Its fantasy. Fantasys my favorite! said Sophie of the Elves.