Serani - Depression and your child: a guide for parents and caregivers

Acknowledgments

To write is to work in solitude, in isolation. And I love that process. To be published requires working alongside others, and I love that process, too. To Senior Editor Suzanne Staszak-Silva, I thank you for your discerning editorial eye, your compassionate listening, and your gentle manner. You made my work shine more brilliantly than I could have ever imagined. To my publicist, Sam Caggiula, your enthusiasm and support were like a faraway beacon, giving me hope when I struggled uphill in my writing journey. Im also grateful to Patricia Stevenson, production editor, for bringing my book to life; to Desiree Reid for your beautiful copyedit; and to the marketing and sales teams at Rowman & Littlefield. Many thanks to my colleagues who offered notes and insights, and those Ive worked with who allowed their stories to be told. To my home-base team, Ira and Rebecca, thank you for letting me fly away for hours on end to writeand, finally, to my sisters and parents for loving me through all the ups and downs and in-betweens life has thrown my way.

Introduction

When you held your child for the very first time, you were likely brimming with pride and joy. Your heart swelling with enormous love, youre swept away with streams of thoughts for what your child needs in this immediate momentas well as plans and dreams for the future. You expect there to be wondrous adventures your child will experience, as well as bumps in the road along the way. And thats okay , you say, because you know that life isnt always an easy journey.

But one thing you probably never considered was how an illness like depression could take hold of your child. And why would you? Up until recently, it was never believed that children could experience depression. Long ago, studies suggested that children and teenagers didnt have the emotional capacity or cognitive development to experience the hopelessness and helplessness of depression.

Today, we know that children, even babies, experience depression. The clinical term is called pediatric depression , and rates are higher now than ever before. In the United States alone, evidence suggests that 4 percent of preschool-aged children, 5 percent of school-aged children, and 11 percent of adolescents meet the criteria for major depression.

Why I Wrote This Book

Depression and Your Child grew out of my experience of being a clinician who specializes in the treatment of pediatric depression. I wanted to write a parenting book to raise awareness about depressive disorders in children, to teach parents how to find treatment, to offer tips for creating a healthy living environment, and to highlight important adult parenting matters such as self-care, romance, and well-being.

I also wrote this book because I have lived with depression since I was a child. As is the case with pediatric depression, my own depression didnt hit with lightning-like speed. It was more of a slow burn, taking its toll in gnaws and bites before hollowing me out completely. After a suicide attempt as a college sophomore, I found help that finally reduced my depression. Until then, I accepted the sadness, despair, and overwhelming fatigue as the way my life just was. I never realized, nor did my parents or any other adults, that I had a clinical disorder. Ive since turned the wounds from my childhood into wisdom and believe that sharing the textures of my experiences will help parents realize what their own depressed child is going through.

More than anything else, I want this book to offer hope. As a clinician, proper diagnosis and treatment can be life changing and life saving. As a person living with depression, I have found successful ways to lead a full and meaningful life. I want parents and children who struggle with depression to feel this hope, tooand in these pages, thats what youll find.

About This Book

Im a teacher at heart. Just about everything I do in my personal and professional life has some aspect of nurturance to it. I want readers to be able to take whats in these pages and apply them to their life. The chapters herein will give you all the necessary requirements needed to parent your child with depression with confidence and success.

Youll learn about the normative patterns and stages of child development, from physical, verbal, cognitive, emotional, and social development. Ill teach you how to observe your child, how to spot potential concerns, and I will give you the insight needed to help diagnose depression. As you read further, I not only outline traditional treatments for pediatric depression but also delve deeply into holistic methods. Im a great believer that theres more than one way to treat illnessand finding what works for you and your child will be vital. In the pages of this book youll also find out how to tap school resources for additional support and what kinds of specialists you need to advocate for your depressed child. I discuss the scariest subject matter related to depressionsuicide and self-harmin a manner that is candid and frank, yet hopeful. I want parents to know what to expect from medication if its needed, from hospitalization if its necessary, and what kinds of realistic expectations to have regarding what psychotherapy can and cant do when it comes to depression.

A significant emphasis in Depression and Your Child is making sure you, as a parent, carve out time for yourself and time for your love life. Chapters include tips for intact families, single parents, and co-parenting arrangements, as well as for caregivers who may need to plan for future caregiving for their depressed child. And because stigma features strongly in the life of anyone who lives with mental illness, a section of myths, facts, and ways to address such stigma is featured. Furthermore, a list of almost four hundred high-profile people, from athletes, actors, and musicians to scientists and world leaders, will help you and your depressed child see that people who have depression can lead meaningful lives.

To broaden the understanding of whats covered in this book, Ive included a case study at the end of each chapter. Though the names and other identifying information have been changed to keep confidentiality, reading the stories of these selected cases will help you understand theories, treatments, and techniques.