Table of Contents
OTHER BOOKS BY MICHAEL WELLER PUBLISHED BY TCG
Five Plays
Includes:
Moonchildren
Fishing
At Home (Split, Part 1)
Abroad (Split, Part 2)
Loose Ends
For Kathy
DO NOT DISTURB
PRODUCTION HISTORY
Do Not Disturb (originally titled What the Night Is For) was first presented in 19992000, in a reading directed by Izzy Mant at the Criterion Theatre as one of a series of workshops produced by Theatre Machine and supported by Act.
Do Not Disturb (originally titled
What the Night Is For) received its world premiere on November 27, 2002, at the Comedy Theatre in Londons West End. It was directed by John Caird; the design was by Tim Hatley, the lighting design was by Paul Pyant, the sound design was by Rich Walsh. The cast was:
| LINDY METZ | Gillian Anderson |
| ADAM PENZIUS | Roger Allam |
Do Not Disturb (originally titled
What the Night Is For) received its American premiere on April 3, 2004, at the Laguna Playhouse (Andrew Barnicle, Artistic Director; Richard Stein, Executive Director) in Laguna Beach, CA. It was directed by Richard Stein; the scenic and costume design were by Dwight Richard Odle, the lighting design was by Tom Ruzika, the sound design was by David Edwards; the production stage manager was Rebecca Green. The cast was:
| LINDY METZ | Claudia Christian |
| ADAM PENZIUS | Kip Gilman |
CHARACTERS
MELINDA (LINDY) METZ, a teacher of Special Education, late thirties to early forties
ADAM PENZIUS, an architect, late thirties to early forties
PLACE
A hotel in a Midwestern town.
TIME
Recently.
NOTE
A / in dialogue indicates when one thought is dropped suddenly and another intercrossing thought, or alternate formulation of the idea, continues without transition.
SCENE 1
Darkness. Popa champagne cork! Laughter.
Lights up on a hotel room decorated in a bland, traditional style. We could be in any of the better chain hotels in a midsized Midwestern city.
Lindy and Adam sit at a table eating a meal off a trolley with silver domes. A hanging fixture over the table closes them in a tight embrace of light. Another lamp on one side of the double bed is on low beside a digital alarm-radio.
Lindy is full-figured with soft features. Her voice is quietly cadenced but she has sudden bursts of infectious mirth. She wears a tastefully stylish suit. Adam has thinning hair and an easy but, at times, brisk efficient manner; a man used to giving orders. Hes in tie and shirtsleeves, jacket flung on the bed.
The mood is upbeat but a little shrill, each trying too hard to act relaxed.
LINDY(Guessing): Millman? Hillman? Spillman? Spellman?
ADAM: No.
LINDY: Dont tell me, dontGellman. It was Gellman, right?
ADAM(Enjoying this): Nope.
LINDY: He was an ear-nose-and-throat man
ADAM: Yes
LINDY: With a hideous wife
ADAM: Yes
LINDY: Isnt she the one who got drunk once and said we should skip the book discussion and try group sex for a change?
ADAM: Thats the one.
LINDY: His name was Gellman, Im sure it was. That week was Bonfire of the Vanities.
ADAM: Right book, wrong doctor. Gasarch. Dr. Gasarch.
LINDY: You know, I think youre right. He tried to grope me in the hallway my first night in the Book Circle. Well, doctors tend to be pretty biological on the whole. Dont you find?
ADAM(Absurdly): On the whole, absolutely.
LINDY(Giggles) : Do you still see any of that bunch
ADAM: The Get-a-Life Culture Club?
LINDY: Were they that pathetic?
ADAM: Present company excepted.
LINDY: Thank you.
ADAM: Actually, I did run intowas that obstetrics guy before your time, Dr. Nicklaus?vacation in Bora Bora at one of those, what are they, along the beach, open-side-thatched-roof-bar-type things. He introduced me to a little dark-haired cutie-pie young enough to be someone he just delivered. His wife, he called her. The only good joke he ever told.
(Lindy raises her champagne glass.)
LINDY: A toast: To the Book Circle.
ADAM: And all that came of it! (They click glasses) Tattinger. You remembered.
LINDY: I did? Oh... (Then) Remembered what?
ADAM: My favorite champagne.
LINDY: Its the little touches that do a perfect hostess make.
ADAM: You didnt remember?
LINDY: Im sure I did. Sub-thing-a-mally. Youve barely touched your fish.
ADAM: Ditto your meat.
(They take bites with awkward movements.)
LINDY: How is it?
ADAM: My fish is fine. Hows your meat?
LINDY: Good, actually. Quite succulent and, umtender(Hearing innuendo) Oh dear, oh dear, Adam Penzius!
ADAM: Your nose still turns red when you blush.
LINDY(Busying herself with food): So tell me all about yourself. Hows youryou know, everything, life. You talk while I eat, then well switch round and Ill provide the ambient sound while you tackle your fish. Hows that for a plan?
ADAM: You havent changed, Lindy.
LINDY: Its a little warm though, isnt it? The hotel said theyre testing a new air-conditioning system... Ill open a window, why dont I do that, Ill justArent you warm? Arent I babbling?
ADAM: I guess were nervous.
LINDY: A little.
ADAM: Understandably.
LINDY: Ill just / It is warm...
(She goes to the window. Adam rises.)
A boy was it? How old?
(Adam almost calls her on this, testing her memory, but then takes his jacket from the bed and removes some photos. She turns. Theyre awkwardly close together.)
ADAM(Showing her a photo): Roo.
LINDY: Roo? For Rudolf ?
ADAM: For Roo. As in Kanga and From Winnie the Pooh. He curls up in my lap at breakfast, snuggles under my bathrobe like a baby kangaroo.
LINDY: Hes ten?
ADAM: Clinging to his youth. Gregs his name; Gregory.
(They are inches apart, Lindy feels a wave of something and moves back to the table.)
What were yours again?
LINDY: Same as before: Doug and Willy.
ADAM(Manly voice): Thats right: The Guys.
(He returns to the table with his photos and sits.)
LINDY: They are that, regular little jocks. Not so little now. Not completely jock, either, though Hugh does his best to push them that way. Football, baseball, basketball, anything with balls. La Maison Testosterone,
