Meredith Resnick - Surviving the Narcissist: 30 Days of Recovery: Whether Youre Loving, Leaving, or Living With One

Copyright 2014 Meredith Resnick. All rights reserved
Cover design by Melanie McMinn http://frugalkiwi.co.nz /
No part of this book may be reproduced in any format without the authors written permission. Short quotes should contain appropriate attribution, including ebook title, author, and website link http://youandn.com

ISBN: 9781483536897

All introductory quotations come from Narcissism: Surviving the Self-Involved by Meredith Resnick, unless otherwise noted.

Note to Readers

DisclaimerThe information provided in this book is designed to offer helpful information on the subjects discussed. This book is not meant to be used, nor should it be used, to diagnose or treat any medical, psychological, emotional, relational, or mental health condition. For diagnosis or treatment of any such issue mentioned above, consult a physician or therapist for appropriate treatment and referral. The author is not responsible for any specific health or mental health needs that may require intervention, consultation or supervision that is medical, psychological, legal or otherwise, and is not liable for any damages or negative consequences from any treatment, action, application or preparation, to any person reading or following the information in this book. This book is designed to provide information and support to the reader. It is sold with the understanding that the author is not engaging to render any type of psychological, medical, relationship, legal, or any other kind of professional advice, only to explain the characteristics, feelings and emotions that may manifest when dealing with certain individuals in certain relationships. Seek the help of a licensed therapist as needed. If children are involved, seek the help of a therapist, lawyer, or other licensed specialist to ensure appropriate action. References are provided for informational purposes only and do not constitute endorsement of any websites or other sources. Be aware that the websites listed in this ebook may change.

About Meredith Resnick

Meredith Resnick worked in direct healthcare for two decades. She brings right-brained creativity to coverage of health-related topics, especially mental health topics, and strives to create connections between human beings and their patterns of behavior, between the universal and the personal, and between the heart and the mind. She is the author of Narcissism: Surviving the Self-Involved. For more visit http://meredithresnick.com .

Thirty Days of Recovery

A new start. A new direction. These thirty days of focused recovery from a narcissistic relationship marks a shiftinside us. Surviving the Narcissist: 30 Days of RecoveryWhether Youre Loving, Leaving, or Living With One is a book of meditations for anyone trying to cope, recover, and heal from a narcissistic relationship.

My first book, Narcissism: Surviving the Self-Involved, was a primer about narcissism. It explained the disease of narcissism in simple, direct language. I believe simplicity is good and especially useful in recovery and healing. When a person feels particularly fragile, perhaps unclear if the changes he or she has decided to make are the right ones, simplicity, brevity, and neutrality quell anxiety by not exactly bypassing the mind but by calming it. The mind is always trying to figure things out and, along the way, frequently complicates its own answers. This adds to our confusion.

Please note, there is no need to ignore the mind. There is no need to fight it. The mind tends to drift, to work alone, yet when we combine heart with mind is when healing can occur and the subtle changes start to take hold and feel natural. We are most powerful when our mind and heart work in unison, which is exactly what Surviving the Narcissist: 30 Days of Recovery aims to help cultivate in this recovery period from the narcissist. Use it daily, or whenever needed.

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Stepping Into Our Own Recovery

Whether its a present-day relationship or one that has haunted us from the past, Surviving the Narcissist: 30 Days of Recovery can help bring clarity and intention to the process of letting go of the narcissist. Daily entries address the difficult feelings that arise from letting go including sadness, anxiety, confusion, disbelief, anger, and numbness, all with a focus on recovery and healing from the fallout of narcissism.

Narcissism is an illness, a more or less incurable disease that, in some cases can be managed, if the individualthe narcissistparticipates in his or her own recovery. Instead of waiting for this to happen, or trying to make it happen, we can take the attention, love, and care we have showered on the narcissist and apply it to ourselves.

When Should Thirty Days Begin for You?

These thirty days of recovery from the narcissist can begin any time you become aware that you need to make a change (for the better) for yourself. Even as you gain insight and heal, they can be revisited over and over again.

How to Use This Book: Read, Reflect, Reevaluate, Repeat

Use the meditations in Surviving the Narcissist: 30 Days of Recovery to help guide your recovery. Read them in order or skip around. While the entries build as the days continue, this is also a book that works when read out of order, even a single sentence at a time. Each sentence holds within it a kind of meditation to help view recovery from the narcissistic dynamic in a new way. Even the shortest sentences can be powerful tools. Give yourself time to digest what you read. Try not to rush; reflect on how the meditation makes you feel. Concepts reemerge in the text and are addressed in different ways throughout the book to help the reader absorb the thoughts. As time passes and your outlook changes, entries will take on new and powerful meanings that speak to you in different ways.

A Meditation on Recovery From the Effects of Narcissism

Tell yourself this: For the next thirty days, I will take small steps to educate myself about narcissism. To try to be objective about what I learn. I will give myself time to absorb whats new and I will not rush to act. My goal will not be changing the entire world, or even changing my relationship. Rather, I will commit to changing myselfmy expectations and my view of myself and my role in the relationship. I trust that, as I change my own world and outlook, the world around me also will shift in my eyes because I will have new clarity. Perhaps the other personthe narcissistwill change, perhaps not. I need not focus on that any longer. The fact that I have gotten a new perspective on an old problem is what brings me a sense of well-being, calmness, and hope. My job is to take that new perspective and apply it only to better myself and care for myself.

~ 30 Days of Recovery ~

Day 1: Today is about my growth and healing and recognizing what I need

If you are in a relationship with someone afflicted with narcissism (I am not talking about what is often called healthy narcissism or the ability to take care of oneself), you just never know what youre going to get.

Life with a narcissist has taken me to emotional places I never thought Id go and, once there, never believed Id survive. These first thirty dayswhich I understand can occur at any point in a relationship and whether Im physically with the narcissist or notmark a period of abstinence from the narcissists manipulations, including the soaring highs of professed intrigue, devotion, and curious admiration for everything I did to the massive letdown, degradation, and devastation. The first thirty days is a respite in which I canand willfreely examine the relationship and my part in it. I may still be with the narcissist or away from the narcissist. I may love or hate the narcissist. Today I understand that my feelings about the narcissist and about myself need not interfere with my recovery. I recognize that recovery is about slowly gaining perspective and insight about myself to better heal and grow.