Lisa Scott - Surviving a Narcissist: The Path Forward

Title: Surviving A Narcissist The PathForward

Author- Lisa E. Scott

Copyright 2011 by Lisa E. Scott - Allrights reserved.

Published by Network Media LLC

Smashwords Edition

ISBN 9780578082110

No part of this publication may be reproducedor transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic ormechanical, including photocopying and recording, or introducedinto any information storage and retrieval system without thewritten permission of the copyright owner of this book.

For further information, please contact:

Network Media at info@survivinganarc.com orLisa E. Scott at Lisalou2@gmail.com

About the Author

Lisa E. Scott is a native of the Chicagolandarea who resides in the South Loop near the heart of historicPrinter's Row. She has her Masters of Science and has beenpublished twice in academic journals related to research work shehas done. She wrote her first book "It's All About Him" to helpwomen recognize the harmful effects of being in a relationship witha Narcissist. "Surviving a Narcissist" is her second book, whichshe hopes will provide a Path Forward for individuals recoveringfrom a relationship with a Narcissist. Ms. Scott is also thecreator of www.allabouthim.com , an onlinecommunity supporting victims of Narcissists.

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank my e-publisher, MiaDawn McKenzie, for being a good friend, close confidante and loyalcohort. I dedicate this book to the amazing moderators andsupportive members of my on-line community at www.allabouthim.com . You inspire me every day with yourstrength and heartfelt compassion for one another. No oneunderstands what it is like to try to love a Narcissist unless theyhave been through it firsthand. Together, we support one another ona level no one else can. Together, we will find a Path Forward!

Lots of Love,

Lisa E. Scott

Introduction

Have you suddenly found yourself in arelationship with someone who no longer understands you?

Someone you no longer understand?

In the beginning was he too good to be true?A prince in shining armor, who later turned critical, demeaning andeven cruel? Does everything seem to be ALL ABOUT HIM? Is heinsensitive to your needs, unappreciative of your input andindifferent to your feelings? Does he fail to recognize yourgiving, kind and thoughtful ways?

Do you feel as though you can do nothingright in his eyes? Are you constantly made to feel guilty when youhave done nothing wrong? Do you feel like your relationship withhim has become an emotional roller coaster ride you cant get off?Incredible highs one moment, followed by unbelievable lows thenext?

Is he hot and then cold? Does he becomedistant and silent only to revert back by showering you with loveand affection? Do you ever wonder if he has someone else? Is yourgut telling you something is off, but you cant quite figure outwhat?

Are you wondering how you went from beingadored, idolized and worshipped to devalued, demeaned anddiscarded? Are you banging your head against the wall trying tofigure out how your relationship went from a fairy-tale to atrain-wreck over night?

Stop!!!!!

You have done nothing wrong.You may be in arelationship with a Narcissist.

It is very difficult tosee what lies underneath the charisma of a Narcissist. A Narcissistis like a wolf in sheeps clothing...charming, alluring, and oftenthe life of the party. The beginning of the relationship iseuphoric, intense and exhilarating. It is like nothing you haveever experienced before, and you cant get enough of your newfoundlove.

You are put on a pedestal and told all yourlittle quirks are endearing and adorable. You have never felt soincredibly loved by another person in all your life. A Narcissist sweeps you off your feet and appears morecaring and compassionate than any person you have ever met.Unfortunately, once you settle down with a Narcissist, you will seea side of him you never knew existed. A side, quite frankly, youwould rather not acknowledge.

Underneath the flashy exteriorof a Narcissist is a fragile ego, which requires constant attentionand validation. The implications this has on a relationship are farmore damaging than you could ever imagine. Eventually, a Narcissistwill discard, devalue, belittle and criticize you. Emotional abuseis inevitable in any long-term relationship with a Narcissist. Theabuse is not only devastating, but comes out of nowhere and causesyou to question everything you thought you ever knew.

It is important to understandthat Narcissists are incapable of reciprocating love, which makeshealthy relationships with them impossible. In the beginning, theyseem to be overly compassionate and caring, but eventually yourealize, they have simply put on an act in order to win and secureyour love. The only reason a Narcissist seeks out a relationship isto ensure someone is always present to meet his never-endingneeds.

My ex-husband was a Narcissist.Not just someone who exhibited Narcissistic tendencies, but someonewho was diagnosed with pathological narcissism by his owntherapist. Someones narcissism is labeled pathological when itbecomes so extreme they have no ability to recognize other peopleas independent of themselves.

They literally believe the worldrevolves around them and people exist to accomodate their needs. Itis not just selfish, arrogant behavior that makes a relationshipwith someone like this difficult. It is much more complicated andthus, important to understand and recognize as early aspossible.

My ex-husband joked from day oneabout being a Narcissist. Unfortunately, it took me eight years tolook into the true meaning of narcissism and how it impacts arelationship. When I did, it explained everything to me and openedup a whole new world for me. I have made it a goal to share what Ihave learned with others so they dont live in the dark like I didfor years.

Knowledge is power and can betruly liberating.

I wrote my first book,Its All About Him, to build awareness and help others recognize aNarcissist before getting involved. I also started an on-linesupport forum at www.allabouthim.com where members talk about their attempt to love aNarcissist. No one knows what it is like to be in a relationshipwith a Narcissist unless they have been through itthemselves. Being able to talk to others who are going through a similarexperience is very cathartic. Our forum is a safe haven for membersto share their story with others who can relate on a level no onelse can.

Research tells usnarcissism is on the rise. 1 As a result, more and more of us are findingourselves in relationships with people who do not know how torelate to us. It is important to understand if youre involved witha Narcissist, he will never change and is incapable of changing.You either accept him for who he is or you move on.

A relationship with a Narcissist is toxic. Atoxic relationship is one in which you do all the giving and theother person does nothing but take. It is a relationship where youshower your partner with love and affection only to receive littleto no love or affection in return. It is a relationship that beginslike a dream, but quickly turns into an emotional roller-coasterride you cant get off no matter how hard you try. It is critical you understand why relationships withNarcissists do not work and realize it is not your fault. It is thepathology of the personality disorder that prevents truereciprocity of love and fuels the abuse.