Conor Gallagher - If Aristotle’s Kid Had an iPod: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Parents

I WROTE this book for the same reason you are reading it: because I love my kids.

But as a parent, Ive had to swallow a cold, hard truth: my kids deserve more than just love. The Beatles were wrong when they said, All you need is love. Most parents love their kids. Frankly, thats easy. But does love alone make you a good parent? No. Kids deserve more: you need to help them develop virtue, help them forge true friendships, and ultimately lead them to happiness. At least thats what Aristotle believed.

This is not really a parenting book. Im not qualified to write one. Im not going to say spanking is good or bad, or that video games are OK or not OK. Rather, I am going to use philosophy to help you understand how your kid can become virtuous, how he can develop true friendships, and what will truly make him happy. Ill leave the specifics to your better judgment.

This book is a philosophy book for parents. Sounds boring, doesnt it? But if you are a reasonably good parent, you already are a philosopher.

Philosophy is nothing more than the love of wisdom ( philosophia ) . This book shows the real, practical connection between the ancient wisdom of Aristotle and modern case studies, statistics, and the everyday life experience of raising kids. If youre seeking wisdom in raising your kids, keep reading.

But why Aristotle? Born in 384 BC in Greece, Aristotle was a student of the famous Plato, who was a student of Socrates. He was bald. He had thin legs, small eyes, and spoke with a lisp. (He obviously made it with his brain, not his good looks.) His father, Nicomachus, was the court physician to Amyntas II (Alexander the Greats grandfather). Aristotle was probably destined to be a doctor himself and may have practiced medicine to some extent. His fathers profession must have been a positive influence on Aristotles appreciation of the sciences. He is renowned for his work in physics, biology, zoology, politics, dramatic arts, economics, ethics, and more. In short, he wrote on everything from insects to constitutionsand every one of his works is considered a masterpiece. That is quite a rsum.

Perhaps the most influential thing Aristotle did, however, was tutor Alexander the Great until the age of sixteen, at which time Alexander began to conquer the known world. Its no coincidence that the greatest emperor (who was a child himself) had the greatest teacher of all time. Many of the same lessons he must have taught to the emperor are contained in these pages.

Aristotle was concerned with human nature more than anything else. In order to become virtuous and happy, says Aristotle, your kid must perfect this human nature in a particular way . And this is what you will find in these pages.

Aristotles most famous work is called the Nicomachean Ethics . It was named either for his father, Nicomachus, or his only son by the same name. Essentially, Aristotle wrote a book about how to become a virtuous and happy human being. I suspect he named the work for his son as a gift, as if saying, Son, this is your road map to happiness. But whether named for his father or his son, Ethics is parenting advice to all future generations. It is exactly what he would tell parents because it is what he, as a parent, wanted his son to know.

But what if his son Nicomachus lived in 2012? Would Aristotle say the same things to him? YES. Absolutely. No doubt about it. How can we be so sure? Because everything he said was about the unchangeable human nature that every kid possesses. The current existence of Xbox and Facebook and iPods dont change this. We must apply his principles to the modern world, but the principles are the same today as theyve always been.

If you havent read the Ethics , put it on your bucket list. Aristotle will richly reward your efforts. His philosophical diction and terms can take some getting used to, thoughwhich is one reason I wrote this book. If Aristotles Kid Had an iPod translates Aristotles concepts and arguments into contemporary language, serving as a fast-paced guide to the Ethics and preparing readers to tackle the great work itself.

All right, so Aristotle makes sense. Now, why me?

I dont talk much about myself in the pages of this book, primarily because the book isnt about me. Its about Aristotle, your kid, and you. Im not a psychologist. Im not a therapist. Im not a world-class philosopher. Heck, I dont even have teenagers yet. So who am I?

My wife and I married young and started having babies. We have eight children. Our oldest is ten. No twins. Just one after the other. We understand Rug Rats pretty well, and Ive found that Aristotle provides some excellent advice.

Im a mediocre philosopher who is fed up with hearing stupid parenting advice and watching parents get pulverized by their kids. Every time I see a kid pitch a royal fit in public, every time I see parents succumb to their childrens demands (as if they are Alexander the Great), every time I see parents do the exact opposite of what should be done, I think to myself, They need a good dose of Aristotle. Well, here it is.

When I was studying philosophy in graduate school, I noticed that Aristotles conceptsof moderation, habit formation, friendship, pleasure versus happiness, and so onwere very helpful in raising my three little kids. As most young parents do, I poked around at parent books and concluded that most of them stink. The best advice for raising kids was coming from 350 BC , not from the 1969 pot-smoking Woodstock psychology that has overtaken the parenting section of your local bookstore.

I have a passion for finding how philosophy applies to modern-day life. I love experiments and statistics, and every time I see one, its as if the underlying philosophical principle oozes off the page. I find this stuff interesting, practical, exciting, and Im convinced you can have the same experience.

Aristotle wasnt a saint. Neither am I, and neither are you. But he was keenly aware of what you, as a parent, need to do to help your kid become virtuous and happy.

One last note on this book: it isnt for the faint of heart. Its filled with hilarious stuff, but also serious stuff. It will challenge your self-assurance about how good your kid really is, what hes capable of doing, and how quickly things can go wrong. Sorry, but the truth hurts. Yet the greater point of the book is how magnificent your kids life can be. If your kid seeks the path of virtue, he will be filled with peace. If he seeks true friendships, he will find more joy in giving than in receiving. And ultimately, if he is virtuous and possesses a true friend, your kid will gain true happiness, a happiness far beyond any notion of pleasure or amusement that the modern world offers.