Mary Cay Ricci - Mindsets for Parents: Strategies to Encourage Growth Mindsets in Kids

PRUFROCK PRESS INC.
WACO, TEXAS

Copyright 2016, Prufrock Press Inc.

Edited by Lacy Compton

Cover and layout design by Raquel Trevino

Author photograph (p. 167) courtesy of Doug Donegan, Wanderstock Photography

ISBN-13: 978-1-61821-526-0

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For my husband, Enio Ricci, with love to my partner in parenting.

For my kids, Christopher, Patrick, and IsabellaLive your life with a growth mindset!

For my parents, Joe and Mary Ellen Marchione, with gratitude.

For my mother-in-law, Vincenzina Ricci, a selfless and loving mother and grandmother, whom we lost (and heaven welcomed) on February 9, 2016.

Mary Cay/Mom

For my parents, Katherine Lee and the late David Lee, with love, gratitude, and admiration.

Meg

Both authors wish to thank:

Jamie Aliveto, Cindy Alvarado, Michele Baisey, Troy Baisey, Carol Bates, Kristen Canning, Linda Civetti, Maureen Corio, Eric Haines, Tracy Hilliard, Karine Myers, Kristine Pearl, Cheryl Peters, Donna Quatman-Wilder, Eric Rhodes, Mary Jo Richmond, Barbara Rudakevych, Brett Stark, Angela Thomas, Jodi Vallaster, Brian Vasquenza, and the participants in the Frederick County Title I Family Involvement Team.

Jeff Colsh, Anthony Welch, principal Lee Jeffrey, and the Middletown High School boys soccer program.

Kearney Blandamer, Lesley Stroot, acting principal Kimberly Boldon, and the Wootton High School field hockey program.

Monique, Patrice, Noelle, and Cain.

Meg Lee wishes to thank:

My familythe Donegans, the Guineys, the Lees, the Pences, and the Pennsfor love, laughter, support, and encouragement.

My Frederick County Public Schools family, led by Dr. Theresa Alban and Dr. Michael Markoe, for embracing the growth mindset and demonstrating every day the power of a growth mindset school district.

Paul Dunford, Susan Garrett, Tracey Lucas, and Marty Rochlin, who taught me to have a growth mindset before Carol Dweck even coined the term.

I want to make sure my children never stop learning!

Gina, parent of three

Have you ever caught yourself thinking any of the following about your children?

Poor thing, she isnt very good at math. She must have gotten that from me.

He takes after me in his sports ability.

Math and science are his strengths. He doesnt do well in literature.

The way we think about and react to our children depends on our mindset.

What are mindsets? Thanks to the research of Dr. Carol Dweck, Stanford University professor of psychology, society is going through a shift in thinking about learning and intelligence. Dweck (2006) described a belief system that asserts that intelligence can be developed and coined the term growth mindset. Parents with a growth mindset believe that their children can achieve at higher levelswith effort, perseverance, and resiliency. Learners with a growth mindset believe that they can grow their intelligence with hard work and learn just about anything. It might take some struggle and some failure, but they understand that with effort and perseverance, they can grow and succeed. Growth mindset adults and children focus on the learning, growth, and improvementnot the grades or trophies, not on looking smart or talented. A growth mindset home environment encapsulates the philosophy that there is enough success for everyone. Both parents and children learn about the malleability of the brain and what can happen as a result of practice, perseverance, resiliency, and grit.

Conversely, Dweck coined the term fixed mindset, which is a belief system in which one believes that intelligence is something you are born withit is genetic, it is innateand although everyone can learn new things, your innate level of intelligence cannot be changed. A person with a fixed mindset might believe that he or she has predetermined smarts or talents in a particular area, but not in other areas. A child or adult with a fixed mindset might believe that he or she will never be good in a particular subject or talent or be afraid to try something that he or she thinks is too difficult or at which he or she fears failure. For people who do not perceive themselves as smart, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It is important to avoid classifying people into fixed mindset or growth mindset categories. Rarely does anyone fit 100% into a categorywe are certain degrees of each, depending on the situation. We know of a teacher who has a very growth mindset when it comes to her students and her teaching. She believes that they can increase their skills and abilities in a variety of different areas and her classroom is a space where the word cant is rarely spoken. This teacher expects each student to put forth great effort and believes that all can achieve at a high level. She is a model growth mindset teacher; however, at home, she transitions into a fixed mindset thinker when it comes to her cooking skills. In fact, she is so sure that she cant cook, she unplugged her oven and uses it to store her books!