Isla Fisher - Marge and the Great Train Rescue

Contents

C OME OUT! I say.

My four-year-old brother is hiding under his bed.

Marge is here! I am so happy.

Marge, the best babysitter in the whole universe, is at our house and my little brother doesnt care. I dont know what is wrong with him. Marge is not like a normal, boring babysitter. Marge is just the opposite: she is a member of the royal family and she once helped us build a dinosaur out of pancakes.

Mummy and Daddy appear in the doorway looking smart. Daddy is in a suit and Mummy is wearing a fancy black top.

We have to leave for the party now. Please come out, Daddy begs.

NO! Jakey sounds cross. This is not like him at all. Usually when he hears that Marge is coming he pulls his shorts over his head like a wrestling mask and races to the door to greet her.

I walk with our parents to the hallway where Marge is waiting. I always forget how small she is. Even though I am only seven years old, I am nearly as tall as our grown-up babysitter. She can even fit inside our play tent without bending over.

Today she is wearing a shiny silver shirt and a strange silver hat.

Greetings, earthling, Marge jokes, giving me a robotic wave. She does look a bit like she has come from outer space, and I giggle.

We wont be back until late. Daddy gives me a hug. And remember, Marge is in charge!

See if you can cheer Jakey up, Mummy says as she grabs her car keys. Hes been under that bed since he got home from school. Then, as she is half out of the door, she remembers. I left the rules on the fridge.

Usually Marge adds things to Mummys rules to make them more fun, like the time when she took us to Theos birthday party. Marge changed Mummys rule about only eating one slice of cake at the party to nine slices!!

The minute we have waved off our old blue car Marge does my favourite thing. She takes off her hat and shakes out her long rainbow hair. It is so crazy red, green, yellow, orange and blue.

Lets go cheer up your brother! Marge dances down the corridor and into our bedroom. I am getting very mad at Jakey; its so exciting to have Marge here and all he is doing is hiding and spoiling the fun. I want Marge to tell us wild stories about when she lived in the palace or travelled the world with her fourteen pets.

Jakey? Marge pretends she cant see his legs poking out from underneath the bed.

Yoo-hoo, she calls, checking behind the curtains and inside my closet.

Where are youuuuuu? she sings.

Im under here, a little voice replies.

Marge hoists up her skirt and crawls under his bed. I wriggle in after her until we are both facing Jakey.

My brothers face is blotchy and red.

Whatever is the matter? Marge asks. I havent seen such a sad face since the Marquis of Humperdink played tennis in the ballroom and smashed his favourite Ming vase.

My tooth wont come out. Jakeys bottom lip is quivering. Ive had this stupid wobbly tooth for so long and it wont budge!

That is terrible news. Marge looks grave.

Theo has lost a tooth and the tooth fairy gave him a whole pound! Theo has one long eyebrow and is Jakeys best friend from school.

The tooth fairy is never going to visit me, Jakey whimpers.

Never say never, Jakeypants, Marge tells him. I remember when I thought I was never going to see my hairy-nosed wombat George again after he buried himself underneath the castle moat, but then, one day, there he was! Sunning himself on the Queens lounge chair, drinking tea and wearing her missing tiara.

Marge shuffles closer to Jakey. Can I see? She gently wobbles his tooth with her finger.

Ive tried pulling it out, Jakey sniffs. Ive wiggled and pushed, but its stuck.

Dentist Marge to the rescue! Marge exclaims, and at last Jakey smiles. All we need is your daddys toolkit.

The smile runs away from my little brothers face, and he looks a bit frightened as we all crawl backwards out from under the bed.

Then Marge tells me that I will be the dental assistant, which I am actually quite excited about.

I once removed my Persian cat, Amelias, left fang, after she broke into the palace larder and ate too many sweets. It was rotten to the core! Marge tells Jakey. I also pulled a tooth that had been stuck in a suit of armour in the castle for a thousand years. The knight didnt feel a thing!

I run to the garage and come back with Daddys toolbox and Marge whistles as she searches through it. I have the brilliant idea that we might need protective gear in case there is blood, so I grab an apron from the kitchen.

Lie down, I tell Jakey, as Marge puts on a gigantic pair of goggles.

Marge and I peer at Jakeys teeth. They are white and pearly, and even though Mummy always says that he doesnt brush his teeth for long enough, they do look quite sparkly.

The toolbox is red and shiny and it has lots of weird and wonderful things inside it.

Voila! she grins, waving a pair of green pliers.

In case you dont know, pliers are like metal claws used for gripping things.

I am not sure what Marge is going to do with the pliers exactly as I have only seen Daddy use them to pull nails out of the fence, but I am just the dental assistant, not the dentist. I also have a small worry that our parents might not be very happy if they could see us now, but it was Mummy who told us to cheer up Jakey and he is definitely being cheered up, because even though he is scared, Jakey loves having people fuss over him.

Maybe you should close your eyes, I suggest, and he shuts them tight.

Marge sings as she leans over Jakey. She grasps the loose tooth with the pliers and braces her leg against the side of the bed.

ARGHHHHH!