Marianne Levy - Ellie May Can Definitely Be Trusted to Keep a Secret

Are we nearly there yet? asked Ellie May. I know I asked five minutes ago but I sort of hope we might have somehow jumped forwards in time and also Ive been talking for a while now so that probably took a few more minutes and anyway Im just wondering, are we nearly there?

Why dont you read a magazine or something? asked Jeffrey. Or play the game where you dont say anything for as long as possible? See if you can beat your record of nine seconds.

I would do, sighed Ellie May, but its impossible. I dont think anyones ever been quiet for that long. Unless theyre dead. And thats against the rules.

Ellie May was an incredibly famous film star. She was so famous that there were handbags decorated with her initials. There were sweatshirts printed with her face. And a chef in Paris had just invented Ellie May Tomatoes.

Today, she was sitting on a plane to New York, where she would soon do a TV interview for her latest film. Her chaperone, Jeffrey, sat in the next seat, reading, while Ellie May flipped through a magazine.

What about now? asked Ellie May. I bet were nearly there now. Are we? Jeffrey? Are we? Because Im so so so so so bored.

Jeffrey looked up from his book. Count the seats on the plane, he said.

I have. There are exactly four hundred, said Ellie May.

Number of people wearing glasses? asked Jeffrey.

A hundred and eighty-two, said Ellie May. And there are thirty-four people with beards. Thirty-three men and one surprisingly hairy lady.

Giggle looks very interesting this week, said Jeffrey. Have you read the interview with Cassie Craven?

Ellie May turned the page.

C assie Cravens just announced that shes not doing any more interviews! Yes, the beautiful blonde starlet is stepping out of the limelight once and for all.

Im just fed up of people sticking their noses into my personal life, she told us. Thats the problem with going on TV and being in magazines. You never get any privacy. I dont want people asking me questions and taking photos; it makes me really uncomfortable. Now, would you like to come and see my new trampoline? And bring your camera. Its purple!

Theres one in Dazzle too, said Jeffrey, opening the magazine to the headline:

No more interviews for me, Cassie Craven told our showbiz correspondent...

And shes in Kisses, said Ellie May.

This really is it, said Cassie, as she sipped a strawberry juice...

Why wouldnt she want to be interviewed? pondered Ellie May. I love everyone knowing all about me. Thats why I did that documentary, Ellie Mays Amazing Days. Are we nearly there yet?

Not yet, said Jeffrey. Why dont you sit and think fascinating thoughts?

I havent got any fascinating thoughts, said Ellie May. Not even one.

Oh, come on, said Jeffrey. We both know that you have a very lively imagination.

No I havent, said Ellie May. I cant think of anything at all right now except one small grey pebble. Bor-ing.

Well, would you like some fudge cake? tried Jeffrey. Or a lovely long, long, long, long sleep?

Maybe a piece of fudge cake, said Ellie May.

You could play the game of seeing how quietly you can eat it, suggested Jeffrey, handing Ellie May her plate.

Yes! said Ellie May. Wait. No. Thats not an official game.

Isnt it? asked Jeffrey wearily.

Nope, said Ellie May. Not like piggy-in-the-middle. Or hide-and-cake. I hope they do fudge cake at our hotel. Where is that, by the way? And are we nearly there yet?

Nearer than we were, thank goodness, said Jeffrey. Its called The Hotel Splendido Marvellousa and its brand new. It does sound pretty splendid, actually. Theres a swimming pool and a spa and three different restaurants. Theyre trying to get lots of celebrities to stay there. In fact... actually, nothing.

What? asked Ellie May.

Nothing, said Jeffrey.

Nothing? said Ellie May.

Nothing, said Jeffrey.

Nothing what? asked Ellie May.

Nothing nothing, said Jeffrey.

If its nothing then why did you say it was nothing? asked Ellie May slyly.

What? said Jeffrey.

Exactly, said Ellie May. What?!

OK, OK, theres someone quite exciting staying at the hotel with us, admitted Jeffrey. But Im not allowed to tell you who it is, so dont ask me.

Ellie May ate a bit of fudge cake. Then she ate a bit more fudge cake. This is very nice fudge cake, Jeffrey, she said. Its particularly delicious and I wonder what the recipe was by the way whos staying with us and would you like a piece?

You cant catch me out that easily, said Jeffrey. And Im not telling you because you are awful at keeping secrets.

That is not true! cried Ellie May. I can definitely be trusted to keep a secret!

Good, said Jeffrey. Now, are you going to finish that?

Maybe in a bit, said Ellie May. Im not as hungry as I was. She sniffed.

Are you sure? asked Jeffrey.

Ellie May sniffed again, and dabbed her eyes with a corner of her collar. You just read your book, Jeffrey. Dont worry about me.

Oh, all right, all right, sighed Jeffrey. But look, you really do have to promise not to tell.

I completely promise, said Ellie May. Now, who is it?

Its Kiko, said Jeffrey. But

I CANT BELIEVE THAT KIKO IS STAYING IN THE SAME HOTEL AS US! shouted Ellie May. I KNOW YOU SAID THE HOTEL SPLENDIDO MARVELLOUSA WOULD BE SPLENDID, BUT THIS IS MARVELLOUS. IN FACT, ITS MARVELLOUSA! HOORAY! HOORAY! HOO

Shhhhhhh! hissed Jeffrey. You said... you promised...

The man behind them leaned in between the seats. Kiko? he asked. As in the ultra-famous-multi-Oscar-winning-number-one-album-selling superstar? That Kiko?

Ellie May... began Jeffrey.

The woman in the seat in front turned round, a huge smile spreading across her hairy face. I love Kiko! Ive got all her books!

I cant believe shes in New York! exclaimed a nearby flight attendant.

Oh, Ellie May, moaned Jeffrey.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. The voice of the captain came over the tannoy. Well shortly be landing in New York City. The time is twenty-two minutes past six, the temperature is a pleasant seventy-one degrees, and Ive just heard that Kiko is staying at The Hotel Splendido Marvellousa. Please return your seats to the upright position...