Jerry Lynch - Let Them Play: The Mindful Way to Parent Kids for Fun and Success in Sports

Praise for Let Them Play

Jerry Lynchs new book, Let Them Play, is a must-read for all sports parents. As a college coach and mother of three athletic kids, I have witnessed the craziness of youth sports and how it impacts kids even at the collegiate level. There is so much unhealthy pressure and anxiety on both the kids and the families. Jerrys proven philosophy and lessons have greatly influenced my life coaching and parenting. He continues to provide me with strategies that help me, my kids at home, and the athletes I work with to build confidence, navigate challenges, and have more fun as well as with ways to allow me to just let them play.

Jenny Levy, head coach of the 2013 national champion
womens lacrosse team at University of North Carolina

In the midst of a culture in which sports has become a business, Jerry Lynch has written a vital guide to the joy of play, for both parents and children. He illustrates the importance to children of actually being able to play sports. He releases parents from the futile task of trying to live their childrens lives, releases children from the need to perform for their parents, and allows both parents and children to find the freedom and joy of approaching life with a spirit of play. If we were to heed the wise counsel contained in this book, sports would become fun again, for our children and for us.

William Martin, author of The Parents Tao Te Ching

Do you want the children in your life to experience your unconditional love and acceptance? And do you also want them to learn how to succeed and excel? If you want to find true balance and wisdom as a parent, as a coach, and as a human being, this is the book for you.

John Robbins, author of Diet for a New America
and cofounder of the Food Revolution Network

Whether youre a parent, coach, or player, you will love Let Them Play. It will help you to be more mindful in all your parenting of these young athletes, especially when it comes to offering instruction and advice to your child during a game.

from the foreword by Steve Kerr,
head coach of the Golden State Warriors

Jerry Lynch is a good friend and professional colleague who has given me much encouragement and wisdom, helping me and my athletes to reach new levels of our potential. With his latest book, Let Them Play, Jerry is right there in the midst of the moment, encouraging you to be more mindful along the path. Having been a parent of athletic kids, I wish I had had a copy of this book to guide me through those challenging times with youth sports.

Phil Jackson, author and
eleven-time NBA world champion coach

Jerry Lynch is a wise and trusted friend who happens to be one of the nations top authorities on coaching and parenting athletes of all ages. His new book, Let Them Play, will help you to inspire and empower your kids to have more joy, fun, and success not just in sports but in the bigger game of life. I have used his services and I love his work.

Anson Dorrance, coach of the twenty-two-time NCAA
champion womens soccer team at University of North Carolina

If you have a child in sports, you must read Let Them Play. It will teach you how to help your kids get the most good out of sports, while avoiding most of the bad. This book is my new blueprint for raising my own happy, healthy athletes, and it should be yours too.

John OSullivan, founder of the Changing the Game Project

Also by Jerry Lynch

Thinking Body, Dancing Mind
Mentoring
Working Out, Working Within
Creative Coaching
The Way of the Champion
Spirit of the Dancing Warrior
Coaching with Heart

Copyright 2016 by Jerry Lynch

All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, or other without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

The material in this book is intended for education. It is not meant to take the place of diagnosis and treatment by a qualified medical practitioner or therapist. No expressed or implied guarantee of the effects of using the recommendations can be given or liability taken.

Text design by Tona Pearce Myers

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

First printing, September 2016

ISBN 978-1-60868-434-2

Ebook ISBN 978-1-60868-435-9

Printed in Canada on 100% postconsumer-waste recycled paper

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

I dedicate this book to my athletic kids, my Zen masters in residence, who taught me unsolicited mindfulness lessons on the importance of being a good sports parent while I navigated the turbulent waters of youth athletics.

Contents

N ext time you attend a Little League baseball game, try to be mindful of what happens when a young batter comes to the plate. The third-base coach might yell, Make sure you get a good pitch to hit! The manager may say from the dugout, Keep your eye on the ball! Mom or Dad might be in the stands yelling, Come on, keep your weight back! By the time the first pitch comes, the poor kid has a dozen thoughts in his or her head!

The irony, of course, is that while every single person is trying desperately to help, they are all unwittingly making the young batters job nearly impossible. Like any endeavor in life, hitting a baseball requires practice, focus, and concentration. Who can concentrate with four or five people yelling different tips at the same time?

My point is this: if you want to help your child succeed in sports or anything else, for that matter offer your child support, love, and perhaps more than anything, the space to experience and learn on his or her own!

As a lifelong athlete and current coach, it took me a while to understand that lesson. As a kid, I was competitive, emotional, and prone to fits of anger when things didnt go my way. As I got older, I calmed down to a point. But for many years, even as a professional basketball player, I was a wreck. I would hear fans jeers, read journalists jabs, and succumb to an opponents trash talk. I fashioned myself as poised and fearless, but the truth is I was vulnerable.

I met Jerry Lynch in the midnineties when I was playing for the Chicago Bulls. He was a friend of Phil Jackson, who enjoyed teaching our team the values of balance and mindfulness. Jerry came from the same mind-set when it came to sports and life, and he introduced me to several of his books, including The Way of the Champion. As I grew as a player and as a person, I began to understand the power of the mind as it related to my success on the court. There was so much clutter out there, so many ways for my mind to be distracted from the things I needed to do to succeed. I began to train my mind to avoid those distractions through breathing and meditation. And I was inspired by Jerrys books, learning ways to enhance my concentration and really focus my effort on the only thing that mattered my own play. I realized that my improvement was mostly a by-product of a ton of practice, both on the court and with my own thoughts.