Pooja Makhija - Eat Delete Junior: Child Nutrition for Zero to Fifteen Years

Child Nutrition for Zero to
Fifteen Years

with
Gayatri Pahlajani

To Badi and Chotti,

For giving birth to another me

Contents

I woke up in an unfamiliar room. It was dark. A tree branch was scratching against the window. What I thought was the moon was in fact a fluorescent streetlight, angling in through the grill, the ghostly light making a pattern on the wall, one that looked a bit like a tablecloth. A head seemed to emerge from behind the tablecloth, asking me if I was feeling better. Was the tablecloth speaking to me? And feeling better from what? I went back to sleep.

When I woke up again, it was daylight. The room was now devoid of tablecloths both speaking and non-speaking to be replaced instead by a reassuringly human non-table-clothy man who looked suspiciously like my ob/gyn. Hey, I said, you look a lot like my doctor. To this he replied, Thats good, because I am your doctor. And then it hit me, the reason for the disorientation, the pain, the discomfort and the strange room with my doctor in it I was in a hospital and Id just given birth. And if that were true, where was the fruit of my labour? My eyes started darting around looking for their apple.

My baby? I croaked.

My husband suddenly emerged from behind the curtains around my bed like the final act of a hastily penned murder mystery. To further amplify the drama, he dragged a screechy cot with him. But, as it turned out, it was only the chariot for my beautiful baby girl. Ah, my baby girl: ten wiggly fingers, ten wiggly toes. Bundle intact, I began to cry because that is what you do when your husband pops out from behind the curtains with your firstborn. Sensing her mothers senility going south, my daughter then began to cry. Or it could have been time for a feed.

Despite the pretty-in-pink pictures and tonnes of text available on the subject, nothing in the world that you have read, watched or been counselled on will ever prepare you for having a child. Whether youve given birth, had a surrogate or adopted a baby, you and only you will be able to understand exactly what you felt when you first set eyes on your child. You can go to Mars, win a Nobel Prize, find the cure for the common cold, but nothing will ever come close to that moment when youre holding your baby in your arms for the first time. It is also that moment when you realize that your life has changed and will never be the same again. Having a child is like a fairy tale. Where youre Alice in Wonderland. And where becoming a parent is your rabbit hole.

The reality of parenting starts to hit you as soon as the painkillers wear off. It is overwhelming. Your life had order and structure; now it wont. You had time for yourself; now you dont. Nothing will make sense for a while. A full nights sleep becomes a distant memory and going to the bathroom becomes a decision that you need to plan, strategize and think over. Nothing will prepare you for the sheer quantum of advice lobbed in your direction either. The only way I can describe it is to compare it with walking on the road on your way to an appointment when suddenly a vehicle going past splashes dirty ditchwater all over your hair, your face and, of course, your outfit. Which is white.

Im not comparing advice to ditchwater, although that is what it may seem like at first. Some advice is brilliant and has saved me and my kids time and again. Here I refer more to the unexpected timing of it, which can really feel like a slap on the face. A blissful mummy-and-baby moment on a plane, for example, can be hijacked by someone in your row who will list the benefits of Benadryl for travelling babies and, not-so-subtly, for other passengers too. Or when youre at the supermarket and Junior wants you to put her up on the cart and have you push her down the sabzi aisle going wheeeee, someone will comment on whether thats really good for your child. Doctors waiting rooms, fitting rooms, womens loos and the odd funeral, no place being free of unsolicited feedback. You get advice from the help at home, shopkeepers and drivers too. And, sometimes, even from those who have never had a child.

New parents are not always the best recipients of this deluge of advice. As a first-time mother, for example, how do you look for answers when you dont even know what the questions are? Youre grappling with your very new baby, a very new surge of hormones, a very new feeling of exhaustion and sleep deprivation, all coupled with the feeling that you are not doing it right, even though you are. Parenting can also make you feel judged. You feel the worlds eyes on you because youre the only source of nutrition, values and security for your kid for a long time to come. Things said lightly as a joke visitors commenting on how the baby looks absolutely nothing like you or, worse, how you still look pregnant after giving birth (Ive experienced this one) can make you feel sensitive. You feel vulnerable and insecure. You are trying to do your best, and even the most well-meaning advice can make you feel like you are being scolded.

You are not alone. According to a recent study conducted in India Based on my personal experiences and interactions with my clients, Id say that figure is way off base. Id peg it closer to 100.

Given the circumstances, one more book telling you what to do then may seem counterintuitive. But that is not why I wrote this. I wrote this because new parents are bombarded with confusing and, sometimes, misleading information. It is becoming difficult to reach a consensus because what sets each of us parents apart is our childrens unique bio-individuality, even as what unites us is our intention to always do the best for them. To that end, Id like to use this book as a way to clarify not confuse, to prioritize not pressurize, to reassure not rile, so that things become clearer and anxiety levels go lower. The problem with overwhelming access to information online is it can be precisely that: overwhelming. And even though the truth is that nothing is more fundamental than nutrition it is literally what propels your childs development, his brain function, his motor skills, pretty much his entire existence Eat Delete Junior has been designed to calm parents down by separating the bogus from the beautiful, so that you learn exactly what needs to be done and what needs to be left alone.

This book will also expand on eating behaviours because what to eat is only one aspect of nutrition how to eat is another. If your child is a picky eater, for example, making life a living yell at dinnertime, are you to sit back while your kid puts very little or no food in her mouth? It is hard to be Buddha-like about a situation where your childs nutrition is compromised, sometimes even dangerously. Or what about older children and their uncanny superpower-like ability to search and latch on to junk food? Malnourishment can happen even if your child is eating all the time. As a parent, it is important to know how to deal with it.

So keep calm and read. Or, at the very least, keep calm. Being a nutritionist and a mother, I can happily tell you that, unless specified, everything in Eat Delete Junior