Naomi Stadlen - What Mothers Do Especially When It Looks Like Nothing

What Mothers Do Especially When It Looks Like Nothing — read online for free the complete book (whole text) full work

Below is the text of the book, divided by pages. System saving the place of the last page read, allows you to conveniently read the book "What Mothers Do Especially When It Looks Like Nothing" online for free, without having to search again every time where you left off. Put a bookmark, and you can go to the page where you finished reading at any time.

Light

Font size:

↓

↑

Georgia Tahoma Arial Verdana

Reset

Interval:

↓

↑

Bookmark:

Make

1234567...68

Table of Contents

Praise for What Mothers Do Especially When It Looks Like Nothing

Her book is being passed from mother to mother like contraband.

ANNE KARPF, The Guardian

Its a wonderful book and a great affirmation for mothers that is full-blooded and includes the whole richness of mothering. A very enrolling experience to read it.

JANET BALASKAS, founder of the Active Birth Centre, mother, grandmother

I wish Id had this book years agoto show to bosses who didnt understand, to friends who couldnt grasp why I was permanently tired, and even to myselfto know that I wasnt the only one who wished for an extra eight hours in the day.

ANNE DIAMOND, television presenter, mother

I love this book. A work from a pure heart and an informed head, it is at once simple and profound, as is the subject it addresses. It reads as if the author were in the room speaking to the reader. No pseudo-science, no psychobabble. Just the truth.

THOMAS SZASZ, author, psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, father, grandfather

Stadlen brings mothering experience to light and life, and will surely evoke in most mothers, Yes! That is what I do. I suspect What Mothers Do will become an enduring classic.

RUTH BARNETT, psychotherapist, mother

I kept thinking Yes! Thats just what it was like! After reading the book, I understand better my own experience of motherhood that is such an important part of me.

ANGELA BUXTON, mother

On the basis of years of experience of talking with mothers, Naomi Stadlen breaks new ground in capturing those aspects of the experience of modern motherhood that are often overlooked or denigrated in the standard literature. Her book is a valuable source of insights that will be of immense value to parents and nonparents alike.

RICHARD SKUES, principal lecturer in social science, London Metropolitan University

with thanks

My warm thanks to all the mothers who have talked about what they do, and helped me to understand a little better what being a mother is about. To my hardworking and supportive La Leche League colleagues. To Sheila Kitzinger for an inspiring breakfast conversation in 1989, and to Janet Balaskas for her support and for inviting me, in 1990, to run groups for mothers at her Active Birth Centre. To Jennifer Marsh for her encouragement. To all my friends who read early versions of these chapters, and to my daughter Rachel for her encouragement and superb logical editing. To Penny Phillips, the warmest and most understanding publishers editor one could have. To my parents, Marianne and Hans Jacoby. To my three marvelous children, Rachel, Shol, and Dar rel. To Tony, beloved and faithful husband, soulmate, more than words can say.

author s note

The identities of the mothers quoted in What Mothers Do are confidential, so I have developed the following system of referring to them and their families.

B indicates the name of a boy child (where gender noted).
G indicates the name of a girl child (where gender noted).
F indicates the fathers name.
M indicates the mothers name.

I have given babies ages to the lower week, the first two months. Thereafter, I have used the lower month. If a mother says her baby is nearly four months, I still give this as three months.

In using pronouns, it is important to make a clear distinction between mother and baby. This can be confusing if both are female. So, with apologies to girl babies, I have used masculine pronouns for general statements about babies.

The term mother usually means the person who bears the baby, gives birth to him, and takes care of him afterward. But this is not always done by the mother alone. Fathers and grandmothers especially may be the primary daytime carers. If the parents divorce and remarry, there may be stepparents taking turns. There may be adoptive mothers as well as biological ones. When a nonprofessional person stands in for the mother in this way or takes turns with her, descriptions of what mothers do may apply to this person also. It would be clumsy to keep repeating: Mothers or other relatives responsible for the child... Observations about mothers may therefore apply to other relatives caring for the baby.

In the American edition, to avoid misunderstanding, a number of British terms and idioms have been changed to their American equivalents, including several terms and idioms spoken by mothers in conversation.

introduction

When I first went into labor, I couldnt believe that it was leading toward the birth of our baby. I couldnt think further than the drama of the present moment. But afterward, a midwife placed my first child in the crook of my arm on the hospital delivery bed. I looked down at her and my arm felt the weight of herhot, heavy, and new. I was overcome. Every bit of her looked good. I didnt know a baby could look like that. She seemed whole, open, and trusting. Was I really worthy to take care of her? I looked down at her bright eyes, all silvery with newly born light, and the sight of her seemed to settle an inner argument with myself. She looked good, and surely this meant that life itself must be essentially good. Everything seemed clear and simple as I gazed at her wonderful face.

Back home, I found it hard to hold on to that moment in the hospital. Being a mother didnt seem clear and simple. At the same time, I felt ashamed that I wasnt finding it easier to cope. Having a baby was such an ordinary event. I thought my difficulties meant that there must be something radically wrong with me. One of the reasons I wrote What Mothers Do was to prove to myself that my feelings were justified. Being a mother is difficult. This means that we can take pride in any part of it that we do well. If mothering really were so easy, then our pride would just be vanity. I hope that when I explain some of the difficulties, other mothers will feel vindicated in finding it hard. I hope they will also discover many daily reasons for feeling pleased with themselves. I hope What Mothers Do can provide reasons for comfort, understanding, and encouragement to other mothers, especially during those emotional early months. Most mothers cry easily at this time. I wish I had realized that when it was me.

Just as it can seem unbelievable, during labor, that the whole process will end with the birth of a baby, so in the endless round of child care, a mother can lose sight of what all that work is for. Mothering enables a newborn to grow into a capable child.

Mothers sometimes say: I get bored out of my mind, doing things for the baby all day. Yet one can do at least as much boring work in an office. Still, office work can feel part of a significant whole. This provides a sense of belonging and contributing to something useful. Mothers, who are doing so much, often describe themselves as sitting around, doing nothing. They feel lonely, invisible, and unimportant. Yet their work belongs to much more than one organization. Each mother is preparing her child to belong to the society that we all share. It doesnt seem too much to say that the whole of civilization depends on the work of mothers. Social life would be chaotic if mothers were not contributing so much. If mothers feel unimportant, then surely the value of their work is not being properly acknowledged.

Next page

1234567...68

Light

Font size:

↓

↑

Georgia Tahoma Arial Verdana

Reset

Interval:

↓

↑

Bookmark:

Make

Similar books «What Mothers Do Especially When It Looks Like Nothing»

Look at similar books to What Mothers Do Especially When It Looks Like Nothing. We have selected literature similar in name and meaning in the hope of providing readers with more options to find new, interesting, not yet read works.

Gordana Eljdupovic

Incarcerated Mothers: Oppression and Resistance

Jackie Krasas

Still a Mother: Noncustodial Mothers, Gendered Institutions, and Social Change

Carissa Bonham

The Little Green Book of Mothers Wisdom

Jack Countryman

Gods Blessings for Mothers

C.J. Schneider

Mothers of the Village: Why All Moms Need the Support of a Motherhood Community and How to Find It For Yourself

Jeffrey R. Holland

To Mothers

Compilation

All Kinds of Mothers

Streep

Mean Mothers

Purves

How not to be a perfect mother: the crafty mothers guide to a quiet life

Adams

Mad Mothers, Bad Mothers, and What a Good Mother Would Do

Jacqueline Rose

Mothers: An Essay on Love and Cruelty

Mariam Alizade

Motherhood in the Twenty-First Century

Discussion, reviews of the book What Mothers Do Especially When It Looks Like Nothing and just readers' own opinions. Leave your comments, write what you think about the work, its meaning or the main characters. Specify what exactly you liked and what you didn't like, and why you think so.